Carry me lord

Carry me through

Lord Jesus

I pray

For my cheeks are stained with the blood that came from the tears which I have cried

From the eyes that see

Equality

Yet in society I am still denied

Denied the rights of a being human

Speaking the truth of our being into the reason of our existence

Carry me lord

From the troubles I am faced with

For only you I trust

With my tears stained face

Because the human flesh has already sinned

And it will continue to occur from the beginning of time until the end

Carry me lord

From the brutal pain

Of society’s labels on the mental and disabled

From the torture of the wooden sticks and

The metal bars which surrounds my brain

Capturing my state of mind

Carry me to a place where I can find my sanity again

Carry me lord

into the motions of the waves

Let me drift away into the depths of the ocean

As the sunsets on a beautiful Sunday evening

Carry me lord for my trust is only with you

Optimistic D3Vi

Happiness is…

What’s is happiness?

Happiness is when you smile without even knowing why

When your soul is at peace and whatever the world throws at you

Is beneath your feet

As you walk upon those disasters one after another

You smile knowing that inside you’re free from that enraged soldier

A moment of silence as the rain drops falls to the ground

You inhale the sweet aroma of salt water and exhale the negativity of tribulations

Manifesting into something greater

Happiness is

The butterflies inside your inner core

Conquering the universe

As you sit on your throne and look down below at the wicked and sins

Knowing you are pure from deep within

Happiness is you, me and those who choose to let go of the negativity

Allowing God to stimulate your mind, soul and energy with purity and gratification

Happiness is…

Optimistic D3Vi

Writing ✍️ & its powers

Writing & it’s powers

One day I pray to become the most important writer in the universe

Creating a different story for the eyes of many to read

along the white blue lined pages

I pray that my writings teaches love, compassion, and things in which many are able to relate to

Past, present, & future

Speaking into existence life or death

I pray my writing takes others on levels they never imagined they could be on

Levels higher above their own understandings

I pray my words speaks through the heart and it’s desires of a better place

I pray that each word written by my hands ignites the fire in your burning desires

That gates open and reveals the purity of my life in front your eyes as you devour into the meanings behind those lines

I hope that the sun continues to shine although rainy days I prefer but for my readers I wish they are sunny and bright inhaling the morning light exhaling the darkened cold and lonely nights

As each page takes you through a different universe

Speaking and pronounced differently each letter as it rolls off the tip of your tongue

I pray that you inhale and exalt my name

As I take you through some of memory lane

Although you may shed a tear from time to time

Let me clarify that though tears at night joy cometh in the morning light

Peace can be with you as you heal past and push through

Levels of pain leads you through life’s knowledge as gained

I pray my writings break those walls which you built around yourself to let go and let God do the rest

I pray I break that barrier between healing and hurt and combine them both to understand their points

I pray that each weak point is renewed with strength and more driven for progress of the hearts healing

Through my writing you will

See who

I am and begin to believe in yourself first and know that power comes with the choices of your words

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

Forced to kill by the devils whisper in my ear

The devil whispers in my ear

Forced to live and escape mentally my being

To rule over the lifeless body which sits in front of me while I held that scalpel in my right hand

All sorts of thoughts ran through my head

Invading the tiny space of sanity of which I had left

I am forced to make a decision quickly

Soon the cops will

Flood this facility

and the thoughts remain the same

“Should I let his lifeless body bleed out slowly or should I rip through his body again and again until I’m certain that he is dead?”

Time ticking as the first instinct I came up with

Rip through as that body turns blue, and pale

Knowing I’ve drained every drop of blood out of his disgusting veins

I’m satisfied now

He won’t ever get to touch any other little girl again

Inappropriately

He wouldn’t be alive to penetrate his penis inside a twelve year old child

I am forced to stop him now while I can

the devils whispers in my ear

Take the life of those who don’t deserve

Your wish

my command

Written by

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

Dark lights

Dark Lights

Walking along the sidewalk as the sun beams upon my skin and the hair strands stands on my forearm

Eyes closed hiding from the sunlight as darkness consumes my soul

Doors to a dark tunnel as the color changes from bright yellows to red and orange to deep black

hiding the lights to my heart

I hear the sounds as I walked further allowing the darkness to take me deeper to the sounds of water dripping from the ceiling

It’s the waves I hear

They all come

Crashing in

Down memory lane

From light to darkness

I enter the only room which was forgotten long ago

Years of the brutal attack when pain snatched all I had

It wasn’t the water in the ceiling

It was the blood clots from the deep cuts through my brain

As darkness over powers the light which was once alive in my soul

The rippling effect that it leaves

As the dark lights rule over my life

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

Alone time

No one will ever understand that sometimes I need my time to be alone

To meditate and reflect on the things that keep me sane

My writing my art and the minor things I do that keeps me alive inside

Other than constantly answering the phone to listen to drama and lies

those individuals can change their own circumstances

But refuse not to

I’m tired of the constant bickering and the brutal words when anger consumes my soul

I’m tired of arguing over the same old nonsense that I try so hard to speak positives over

Doubt things will ever get better

Being alone helps me to stay positive on my own

Because every one that surrounds me is so negative and depressing

I’m sick of the same old bullshit

Time to move forward and do my own thing

Nothing against anyone

Just tired of everyone else drama

I have enough of my own

And the more I listen the more I hate for unnecessary reasons

So it’s better I stay away

Because my heart became very cold

At this point

I don’t even know who or how to love anymore

So yes

I think the best thing is for me to stay away from the negatives that drains me and my soul

It’s easier to write of bad things

Rather than the tiny joys of life

So yes being alone

Does me perfectly right

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

Twisted thoughts

Twisted thoughts

Collective objects

Sharp instruments that can cut though the veins smoothly

leaving no traces of ridged edges

I know now that the

Doctors won’t be able to find the actual incisions unless it bleeds through and the blood surfaces to the top of my skin

That is the only way they will know that I’ve sliced through my veins

As I sit near the window sill

Looking out I see

The vultures of deep black

Ravens

The sign of death drawing near

The sun dims as the moon shadows over

Thunder and lightning yet no sign of rain heading near

As

Twisted thoughts enters my head

If I pierced through just a little more

I can implode the vein causing me to bleed out

Leaving my body dried out as if someone sucked the life out of my lungs

And ripped out my beating heart

I imagine

How would the coroner write their report

Would it be suicide or just another victim to a brutal attack of

Twisted thoughts

Implicated by another individual

Would the news report on television state that “a young woman who was filled with such love by others committed suicide because she was still not happy?”

Or would the title on the front page leave everyone worrying because they believe that someone like me who enjoys life so much was brutally attacked in her own home?

I wonder sometimes if I did commit suicide,

What would the world believe and the ones who knows me

How would they look at the frontlines of the newspaper while they sip on their morning coffee?

I wonder what would they feel?

As I sit

With twisted thoughts of dismembering my body parts because I am fed up of life that which I was never happy at all

Pleasing others before myself

Taking into consideration of other individuals and their feelings

I forgot myself

And now that I am far gone

I live on with twisted thoughts 💭

To be continued…

Title given by; Gary B.

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

Time

Time

I dedicate my time

My love, my energy into most things I do

There’s times I may not be able to give that time to do the things I need to do

For others

But I try the best I can

No matter the circumstances or situations

Time is precious and it’s some things which we can’t ever get back

Once lost

Can never be found

Once given

Can never be taken back

Once dedicated

Can never readjust

Time is the essence of life

We live to eventually die

Through time

We are each accounted for

Our deaths we know nothing of

Because when it is our time

To depart

Time awaits for none of us

Time is valuable

Cherish it

Embrace it

Accept it

Adore it

For time is not with us forever

Make the best of the time which you have for there’s no telling when the clocks stop ticking and the breath we have left will

Be gone

Time is life

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

Dreams

Dreams

They feel so real

Awakening to a different scene

Confused and uncertain of what else is there next to do

Body shaken up

Sweat dripping

Not sure if it’s cold sweat or anything I should be concerned about

So vivid so real

Sometimes I wonder what if it was the way things were supposed to be

As somersaults take place inside my stomach

My mind corrupted and I’m lost

Trying to piece the puzzles together

Making much of what I have to what I dreamt is just another complication

Writing it all down and trying to figure it out

Still there’s no sense of direction inside my head

My motions are battling against my emotions

Indecisive of going straight or in circles

Wrapped up into my own complex situations

Dreams

They take you on different levels of insanity

Trying to interpret of what they mean

To be continued…

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

Darkness in the Asylum

Darkness in the Asylum 

Walls closing in 

Visions of things 

Mind boggled, thoughts are lost

My feet began wandering 

Eyes open; yet blind

The darkness and invasion luring me in

My privacy stolen from me 

The hallways that hears my screams 

Needle after needle piercing through my skin

Hair rapidly falling from my head 

As if shaved with an invisible razor on a thread slowing pulling with vicious force 

Face drooped, skin hanging, caused from deprivation of food 

Body bruised from the constant beating 

Wrists with lined imprints of the shackles which locked me away 

Punished for my eyes playing tricks on me 

Medications forcefully injected in my veins 

My body shivers and in constant pain 

as tears streams down my face, while I write this scribe and lower my head in disgust of the person I’ve become 

Institutionalized because I see things which are not always there! Is it my fault that the darkness is closing me in? 

To be continued…

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

Makeup 💄

Makeup

Caramel foundation, peach blush

Golden highlights above the Cupid’s bow, eyebrow bone and the tip of my nose

Eyeshadow colors of peach, brown and gold.

Black liquid eyeliner does the trick

A little mascara to plump the eyelashes giving them a more thick and seductive look

Red matte lips 👄

Now it’s all understood

That a lady with her makeup on fleek is a priceless beauty to see

She hides her emotions behind a colorful explosion

Makeup the magnificent magician 🎩

That hides the face and creates

Any form of illusions

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

Solomon our little King in the make

I held you in my arms at two months old

As you looked up at me with those precious eyes

welled up with tears inside

as it streamed down your face, I cried too and a part of my heart melted at that moment. I vowed to protect you from the hands of the beast

those who left you alone with a bottle in your play pen as if you could have fed yourself at that age

I thought “this is insanity”

I was kicked down a flight of stairs

In my arms as I held you near

I protected you and took that hit

I slid down and tumbled over the last three stairs

Yet I stood by your side and each day you were left alone

I came and took care of you while that beast left you for hours by yourself to work at a bar late at night

I lied to my parents saying I was with my boyfriend then

While he was cheating on me

I was in his home taking care of you

While his mother worked in the bar

I watched over you

Without their knowledge

And then one day

I told your real mother

It wasn’t about a job I wanted or needed

It was about the love and care for you mostly and the joy in which you also brought me

I watched you as you laid peacefully

while I cradled you in my arms and rocked you to sleep

After I have done changed you, shower you, fed you, burped you and sang for you

My life felt complete

I fell in love with your smile and you were like my little child

I loved you more than anything because your laughter brought me joy and that moment of seeing you for the very first time

You also saved my life

With the sounds of your cries

I remember running up the stairs

Leaving the bags at the door because I heard a baby screaming as if someone was suffocating that child

I was at a point where I wanted to give up, and kill myself

But your sounds had stopped me in my tracks

That day what I had intended to do was never accomplished and that is because of you

God showed me a life other than mine who was deprived of real love

I ran to your rescue without any issues

It was my instinct and at that moment I found you

I found hope

A reason to become brand new

My strength was now getting renewed

I believed again

I had hope

I kept the faith and I prayed again

I took you away from that horrible woman Who didn’t care wether you were alive or dead

The woman who saw money before a precious life

I saved you as you saved me

And I watched you grow slowly but surely

I remembered when your grandma and pa

Would visit me in jail

I remembered how you ran to hug me and kiss me

I also remembered that your first steps are because of me

I pushed you through from the moment you held on to my hand

I guided you

Followed you and gladly helped you with your first steps of accomplishment

You walked that day from the television to the sofa as I clapped and cheered you on

Screaming

Go, go, Solomon

You can do it

I taught you to count and sound out words

I showed you things many didn’t take the time to

And today I have felt like a failure indeed

Because those same little footsteps I helped you with

You have turned and raised them on me today

Kicking me several times

Causing me to internally bleed inside

Not just my stomach

But my heart too

You have stomped, torn and diminished everything I ever taught you

with the anger which you held against others

You have kicked them to me,

in, out and through

Solomon I am hurt today

And that is because of you

You made me happy when I was only seventeen

Today I am thirty two and I wish to never ever be in this situation again

I am more hurt and afraid of you than I am angry and bitter

I have shed one too many tears

And although I know you have ADHD

(A chronic condition including attention difficulty, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness)

It doesn’t give you the right to hurt those who loves you dearly

You are taking advantage of your medical condition

Using it as excuses in unfortunate situations

But you know what is wrong from right and your mental state of mind isn’t always the cause

You’re a big boy now

I expected better from you than to constantly hurt others with lies and physical abuse, threats or demands

You know better Solomon

Your condition can be better but everyone says leave you be

Before you act out and create a scene rather than they just discipline you

They feel sorry

But I am not

Because I see potential in you and you can’t see past your nose

You listen to others as they remind you of your disease

You have abused us all with your threats of committing suicide

At twelve years old I can’t understand

why do I have to run and hide knives away from you

Because every mistake you make

you blame everything on your brain

Solomon our little King 👑 in the make

I pray you understand our teachings and change your ways one day

🙏

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

It isn’t fair that at 32 years

I am still being told what I should or shouldn’t do

Wether my parents or the man that I am with

Sometimes I wish just to run far away

It’s sad that I have no life and

My time is dedicated into always doing what’s right

Not just for me

But everyone else too

I pretend that it’s okay and hope and pray that it ends one day

I have that respect

that is why

I have not neglected them

Yet there’s times when I want to run and have no regrets

Live life on the edge and indulge in what satisfies my soul; the urge of laughter is needed to cure my hearts disaster

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

Sometimes I try

Sometimes I try

Sometimes I try to please everyone around me

And in the process I lose myself and a little of my sanity

Running around in circles

Answering one question after another

Trying to cope

Giving the best advice I could of

Listening when others need an ear

Thinking of solutions

Helping those to conquer their fears

But when my advice goes down the drain

Into a gutter with disgusting remains

I feel used

Washed up and confused

Verbally abused

No matter how hard I try

I fail

And I still know not of why

It isn’t because of me

For my advice is given freely

And those who don’t take heed

Then the challenge you will face

indeed

Sometimes I try

To help those who needs the advice

And when all has been said and done

I become

The bad one

But that’s okay

Because I have tried

Although I have failed in their eyes

At least I have tried

It isn’t my fault

Although I blame me sometimes

My mouth and my honesty gets the best of me

Causing me to lose control of my emotions and giving advice based on my past experience

Sometimes I try just too much and it comes a time

When enough is enough

Optimistic Devi ❤️ ✍️ 🙏

Tattoos

Tattoos

Tiny needles piercing through the layers of the skin

Connecting lines, dots, and names

Creating images of unique art

Some with colors, some with none

A passion of likes, wether an animal, an object, a symbol or designs

Tattoos are like visions in other people’s eyes

They show their meanings through the pattern that was etched into their skin

All of us

Each unique in our own way

Letting art show our beauty with creative drawings

Tattoos are for those who are daring and enjoy art

Tattoos for some are the only way of their expressions of the heart ❤️

Some get tatted for the dead

Some for hate

Some for those who actually have killed

They signify just about anyone or anything it’s a form of beauty on the skin

Tattoos is art

Optimistic Devi ♥️✍️🙏

Music 🎵 🎼 🎶

Music 🎵 🎼 🎶

From the beginning of time

Music 🎼 was made

With tin cans and metal spoons 🥄

Or just about anything, that clinks

Violins 🎻 and guitar 🎸 strings

Voices in the wind

Echoes through tunnels

Screams from a distance on the top of a mountain ⛰

They all leave a ringing sound like music to the ear

When you’re sad 😔 and lonely 😩 listen to some tunes

They make you feel better or may give you the blues

If you’re happy and cheerful 😃

Then put on some music and

Let’s rock to the rhythm of its base 🎶

Music 🎵 takes you through events of the past, or at the moment

Leaving you with a feeling of complete satisfaction, no matter the time or place

Music 🎼

Soothes the soul

Heals the sick

Cures the wounded heart ♥️

Bring tears 😭 to the eyes 👀

And smiles on a face

Music 🎶 🎼 🎵

Optimistic Devi ♥️ ✍️ 🙏

No matter what people say

No matter how they feel

I got you and you got me

No matter how hurtful your words may be at times

I know your actions speaks louder them

I may not get much time with you through the day

But I think of you through mines and ways to fix things when we fight

Times is hard and things happen

We all make mistakes and some can never be forgotten

So with this said

I’m willing to fight

Fixing things the best that I can and making things right

Because you’ve always lead me straight and gave me great advice

to keep my words to myself, sometimes

Or you would give me all the reasons to write

I love that you encourage me to pursue my goals

Taking my education to higher levels

Writing and sharing my journey of life

Leaving my words as inspiration

for the future child and the many more people in this world

Leaving behind a legacy

Written facts and situations in the lives of many

Some are struggles and some are smooth

You give me titles for each poem and I thank you for each day you give me encouragement

I love you Vic

Although at times your words hurts my soul at least you apologize

And when I forgive

We make beautiful memories

Because each fight makes us stronger

8 years in counting and we’re still able to finish each other sentences at times

So there is something that is right

And if we continue to see eye to eye

Then our journey will be a gorgeous sight

Optimistic Devi 🌹

Time wasted

Nothing irks my nerves than time wasted and nothing gained

I understand that not everyone has time to respond to a message or a call all the time

But if you say you will do as you say

Let your words not go down in vain

Rather be stern and mean what you say

Do as you speak because actions speaks louder than words and God only knows what that is worth

Because lately

No one believes in respect

To respond to a message or the phone call of a friend

No one understands that it means the world to someone for the time from someone else

No one will know how much it hurts to stay awake and wait for that text or

Call

And yet

Nothing

No one

Not even a single word out of respect for the time you have made me wasted

But you have the time

To send me a message the day after

Many Hours later

That you’re sorry

Yet sorry still doesn’t cut it

And my time has already been wasted

So why try to fix things now?

Why waste more time in arguing

or speaking of the same thing twice?

I know my worth and I’m glad I just over looked the anger which I held

Because I may have said so many things I might have regret

Nothing hurts than my time being wasted

🤦‍♀️

Devi Optimistic 🌹

As your lips 👄 swathed the napes of my neck

My heart ♥️ begins to melt

I give in to temptation as my toes curl and I begin to get this sensation of hot 🔥 and cold 🌫 tingling through my spine

As we both moved to the rhythm of the music 🎼 as our

Bodies are entwined

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏Always on your mind

The world 🌎

Colored correction

We are all labeled by numbers, or colors, religion or status (financial, career, power, convicts, or immigration).

We are lovers, haters, executioners and creators

We are from different origins, separated by land and water, which was designed to differentiate our skin complexion, our speech, our religion and our culture

Our foods are cooked differently, our clothes are handmade or by machine and our schools are taught using different techniques

We are the world

Warriors and conquers

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

Do not expect

Do not expect me to run to your aid when all day for days at a time I’ve been trying to tell you something of importance and you neglected to look in my direction

Do not expect me to understand and mind read the hurt you’re experiencing

Do not expect me to give you satisfaction of getting under my skin

Do not expect that as much love I hold deep inside can’t be diminished within seconds if lies you tell

Do not expect me to come each time you call when the many times I’ve been there before, you failed at keeping your word

Do not expect that you can shut me down and shut me out and not make me feel some type of way, when all I tried to do was be the best that I can

Do not expect that I will always be here waiting for you to come to realization when from the start I’ve said your name has a place in my heart

Don’t expect to make understand when you can’t meet me half way with our plans

Don’t expect that I will always be around because just when you know it

I will be lost never to be found

Don’t expect too much from anything or anyone

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

I know my worth

Your pride my life

Your arrow

My knife

You send daggers through my heart leaving me lifeless

Degrade me; yet tell me I’m priceless

Abuse me verbally in my presence and even when I’m not around

You cut me deep with your double edged tongue

You have ripped apart my pride

You are now a figment of my imagination

You are

No longer the solution to my elucidation

I have found hope and I will continue to cope with the daily struggles of my life

And battle this world as a brave woman with her head held high

Spreading her wings and soaring to the sky

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

Incantation

What incantation do you have me under

Just as I forget about you

I begin to remember

As the night slowly creeps in, while the world is asleep

You invade my mind and memories are revealed

I begin to wonder and ponder of all the could of, would of, should of and know that time has passed to make things work but yet it hurts me each time I see your face at the store

It breaks my heart that we became friends then lovers now we act as if we are strangers

It gets lonely in my head at nights without you

Sometimes the pain hurts so much that my wishes of being dead were only because I wouldn’t have the need to feel

Your sorcery has gotten the best of me

I hate you and still I love the few times you’ve made me feel loved and cared for

I know I have to let go and this is a must

I understand we’re both hurting

But understand me that there’s no trust

You have failed me one too many times and I just don’t have the energy to pretend and live on with lies

I trust nothing you speak, even the love which you claimed you have for me

You’re mouth was reckless and everything that went wrong was my fault or was about what I did

I won’t be around so there’s none to be blamed

I hope you understand

So that you won’t make the same mistake again

Wether another woman or your wife

You won’t do things without thinking twice

Sometimes I think

You have me under a spell

As much as I want to walk away

Something draws me back

And it’s that love I trusted and the words of your promises which made me believe that this relationship was the best thing that happened to me

But then moments after when people are around

I try my best to cope and pretend you don’t exist

Letting other things occupy my mind

The incantation only occurs at night

When I missed being enclosed in your arms and waking up next to your breath is the only time in which I miss you and love you and wish you were near

I say that I am being held captive during those moments

Because only then is when you creep into my thoughts

But with time I will break free from

The captive sorcery

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

The drug that brought him closer to God

From drugs to God

Turning lives around

Just the other day I remembered those stories of you telling me

How drugs destroyed your sanity and choosing the wrong woman caused you to loose everything

You told me of things before and upon and even after marrying your wife

She was your drug which destroyed your life

Now today you sit with thoughts in your head

Listening to the corruption of the words which were said

Dreading nothing because God has held your head and has carried you through the storm and calm you will remain because He has given you strength to move forward

One step in front another as you lead and preach and teach wisdom to those less fortunate

Your drug that destroyed you and made you stronger

Was your wife and no other

You will be healed and God will provide

Just trust on in his guiding light 💡

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

You will heal

You will heal

You will heal, yes you will

I know this for sure

I’ve been down that road before

You will heal past the lies

The broken promises and the disguise

You will heal

After the death that occurred

Knowing that your grandfather is watching over you

You will heal after the hurtful words, the betrayal and the truth of those who tells you as a warning signal

You will heal although you are weak at the moment

You will heal that torn heart and that soul of yours which was ripped right out leaving your body lifeless and aching

You will heal as you listen and you will eventually lead others of your understandings which you have also learned

You will heal past your hurt and teach those who are how to overcome and grow

You will heal because God is guiding you, friends are telling you, everyone cares for you

You will heal

You will heal even if it takes a lifetime of dedication and motivation to get you to where you belong

You will past all those who did you wrong!

You will heal through the arguments and others negative opinions as you are stronger than you think, and what I can ever imagine

You will heal

You will heal and once you do

You will empower and you will embrace many of those who once went through similar or worse than what you did

You will guide and you will protect and you be healed just as I did

You will heal as you write, you will let go of the wrongs and focus on what’s right

You will heal just as many has been broken before, just as I did and a lot who you don’t know of

You will heal, take your time to be YOU, learn to love yourself, and life will be worth the hidden blessings

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

Trapped

I can’t believe I’m trapped

Trapped between two double edged swords;the voices of a father and son

Two different opinions yet one thing in common

They both reckon that I am a rebel

Trapped between lies and to my surprise my man has not yet decided wether he should stay or should he go to meet with his father or not

I’m trapped between two hard headed men who are stuck in their own path allowing forces to draw them apart so that they will never see eye to eye

Or in one direction togetherness

I am trapped inside my pain and the anger which grew each day as I was the blame for many things

I am trapped inside these walls which listens and talks

I am trapped in between a father and son

Who clearly has no reason of working things out

With hasty decisions can lead to a lifetime of failure

As the Bible states

“thou shalt honor thy parents, and your days will be blessed on earth”

We shall lead by example of this quote

However with a stubborn father and a trying son it will never work

as it’s been written in the book of instructions before leaving earth

Some do follow this concept and it naturally works and some who don’t still survive because even some Parents have disowned their child

I am trapped between the love for a man whose family hates me and wished nothing but death as my fate

I am trapped inside a dark tunnel with no escape

Only enough room to breathe through a tiny hole, silver metal container

Trapped in the echo of my breath

The sound in my mind

And the painful things which have occurred in my past life

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

Bury my pain

Bury my pain

I found an old treasure box 📦that I hid years ago

just the other day

And on it written

Open if you dare

As I continued to tackle with the lock

Forgetting the password

I was stuck

So I decided to pry it open

With a hammer and a crowbar

Finally…

it’s opened after so long

Opening the secrets of my painful journey and why my experiences has changed me

Old written poetry

About the past rape, which turned my life around since that day

From cutting school and running into the wrong guys, running away from family and friends and hiding myself from the world

I was in denial

I was ashamed of everything

It’s was not my fault

But yet I blamed myself!

Cutting my arms to believe I am still alive

As I watched the blood flow from my veins and the tears rolled out my eyes

Still no pain I felt

Than the one that’s buried deep inside

I thought that day I buried my pain

But yet again

I was just in hiding

As I opened this box

I relive my hurt

Bringing back the past

Seems much more worse

But it’s time to move forward and facing the facts

What has happened cannot be undone

No man can change the hands of time

The clock keeps ticking and my heart is still frozen

And the memories still hurt but I will be fine

I will heal past the hurt and the horrific nightmares of my past

I will move forward and I will be alright

I will burn those poems and bury that box 📦 for healing, I must!

Optimistic Devi 📦❤️✍️

Escape the rain

Escape the Rain

As he shivers on the stair of the Catholic Church

Wondering to himself

What is his worth

Asking God to show him the way

Someone from the church congregation reached out and touched him

Opening their doors

Giving him a place to stay

Safe from the heavy rain, thunderstorms and lightning

Safe from the many men who questioned him and made demands for him to leave where he stands

This man

He turned to God

And God made the way

He didn’t come but he sent

He wasn’t in physical form but in spirit

God touched his head and anointed him with the blessings of thanksgiving

An angel 😇 was sent to give relief to this man

At last he has

Escaped the Rain 🌧

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️

Think

Guard your heart from making the same mistake twice

Don’t go backwards anymore

Stop 🛑 think

Evaluate and reevaluate

Listen and shield

Then think before you give any answers

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️

Change is imminent

I see your hurt and I understand your pain

I know what you’re going through

I’ve been through the same

Lies and betrayal

Sometimes we think we know the person we’re with

However as time progress

People do change

Some for the better

Some for worse

The question is

If you stayed in it

Do you know that you will continue to hurt?

You’re my best friend and little sister

I love you dearly

And although he’s like my brother

I will look out for your best interest first

Put you as a priority in my life

Because I know what you’re worth

You’re a priceless Gem

A diamond that twinkles in the sky

The stars that shine at night

And the most loyalest of friends

From the beginning until the end

You deserve someone who will love you unconditionally

Flaws and all

Someone to show you the world with your eyes closed

So your heart can feel the depth of its beauty

Someone to guide, protect and honor you with respect, and loyalty

Someone who is proud to walk with you by their side

Someone who can comfort you in the most needed of times

You deserve the best and to see you settle for less

It breaks my heart so much

I see me in you in the past

I know what you’re going through

Trust me, I’ve been there too

Although you’re aching so very much

I promise no matter how hard the journey is, I will be by your side.

Drunk conversations, long hours at a time

Doesn’t matter wether day or night

I will be here when you call

As a friend and older sister

I beg you not to fall!

Do not fall into allurement

Do not let your guards down

You do not need a man who controls your inner emotions

You control your own

And you can stand up for your worth

Value who you are

A beautiful earthly angel who all she meets, she’s adored by

Do not let the sweet words from his lips find it’s way into your heart

You’re doing great sis

And proud of you I indeed am

Stay focused and motivated as you are

Time is ticking as it waits for none

Look into a mirror and admire who you are

Beauty irradiates from deep within

Soul search and find you

Before you can love again

Take time to understand you

Change is imminent

Optimistic Devi ❤️

Endometriosis

Living with endometriosis is a horrible experience that I wish no female to ever have to go through

It is hard to understand a disease which has an unknown reason for occurring

I hope you all enjoy 😉 this poem ✍️

God bless 🙏

Endometriosis

Thick clots

Body weak

Loss of appetite

Loss of sleep

My stomach feels as if something inside clawing my inner walls down

I began to get Paranoid

The pains ugh 😑, it’s Excruciating 😖

Standing on my feet for hours makes it even more hard

The blood just flows and soaks up several pads

in just one hour

The thick jelly like flubber coated bright and dark red

With tiny speckles of air bubbles on top

The smell of blood… yuck 🤢

Yes all women has experienced this

It’s our time of the month

The difference is that I am in pain three times a year, sometimes once

But the pain is so much worse than most will ever know

I form clots the size of my fists and the Doctors only remedy for relief is, pills.

It’s hard to believe that I have endometriosis

An underlying disease which is an unknown cause

Sometimes I wonder what in the world is going on with my body

I wish there was a way to fix me

I can’t stand this battle and this pain

It hurts like hell

I’m going insane

I’ll take the meds for now

But I want the Doctors to make it STOP!

Split personality

Split personality

You lie to me but you’re honest with everyone that surrounds me

You love me one minute and speak words of hate the next

You tell me to get motivated but you destroy me every time I pick myself up

You complain to many people all the time about the things which I did wrong and your ex did right

You compare me to the past which caused you so much pain at one point in your life

You have me and also have a wife

If this is destiny with you for the rest of my life then what happens if one day you want to make me your bride and my answer was no, because you failed me as a girlfriend and you made me wait on the sideline while you and your friends had more time together

You leave me at home to go hang out with your boys

While I stayed home with your mother

You complained that I nag and I have no trust

Do you ever stop to think of why? It is because you have given me many reasons not to believe you

You speak one thing and then do another

How is it I am always correcting you as if I was your mother

This isn’t the person I fell in love with

And it breaks my heart to say this

But I guess time has passed and enough is enough

I rather be alone and miserable than with you and knowing that I make you unhappy

It is everything I do

You say it makes no sense

But in my world it does

Because I am my own individual

And my thoughts, opinions and emotions are just as valid as yours too

The difference is that I don’t degrade your potential, your capabilities, your name, nor do I degrade your intelligence

You have verbally abused me with the words from your lips

You have called me names which made me sick

You have lied and looked me in the eyes and when you were caught you still denied me the right to know the truth behind closed doors

You have said horrible things to my friends people who’s loyalty stands with me that the truth comes out in the end

I am loved by many and I refuse to sit back and let you rule over me

Women weren’t born to be walked on

They were placed in this world to love and marry and reproduce

We are the reason for this civilization which we live in today

And I will be damned if I allow this brutality to remain silent

I speak in words of confidence that I will strengthen me

The first step in starting

Is to remove you from my life

Letting go and pushing past that strife

Moving forward with no regrets

And deciding who I should or shouldn’t neglect

Change is imminent

Contentious Heart ♥️

Contentious

Beating heart ♥️ fighting battles

Questions and war zones of emotions

As we collaborate on master pieces

Words written eloquently

Your desires, my needs

You inquire, my question

You believed, my beliefs

A battle of emotions

Contentious Heart ♥️

I am exhausted at this debate

But I am a warrior

Yes, I stand still and I will

Battle those grounds and I will do it brave

I will fight this battle

No matter what I must face, no matter what it takes

I am given the opportunity to remove obscurity out my lists of categories.

Contentious Heart ♥️

I bleed, but I heal

I fight to remain in tacked

mentally

I won’t give up until

My last breath

I refuse to denounce myself

So I will continue to applaud this battle

Contentious Heart ♥️

The fighting heart

Opportunity

To the lifeless child that wanders the streets

A meal out of the garbage

No shoes on her feet

Mind broken and incomplete

As she wanders the streets of the brutal

Cold

Tummy aches and grumbling sensations, blurred vision and painful emotions

Her tears,

she tries to dry, with her dirty pink sleeves, knees bended, head bowed, the urge to vomit the garbage she had just consumed. She exhales. She pouts. She’s lost and wishes to be found.

To the lifeless child in the streets

I hear you

I see

And

I hope

You hear the words which I speak

You will accomplish, you will shine, you will

Become extravagant and successful, magnificent and beautiful.

You must first believe

Then follow the steps to a beautiful destiny

Enjoy and embrace the journey

As by your side I will remain.

Your life and name, your love, loyalty, and fame, your generosity and dedication will leave a legacy for not only a nation but the world and not only for one era but for generations one after another

So be still and patient

Speak less

Observe and listen

Use time to learn and adapt in any situation

Stay humble and loyal

And life will unfold remarkable visions of of each process to success

But you must stay in position and be persistent

Follow your goals and make your path. Challenging journeys leads to productive destinations!

Have faith and push aside your illusions of suicidal thoughts allow me to help with a

propitious start.

An opportunity only comes once in a lifetime. Knock on the door and God shall answer your calls

I stand before you to bring life back to your broken soul with wisdom and love care and understanding.

To the lifeless child who sits waiting as someone has disowned them I am someone who has lost my child trough a tragic experience.

One soul saved is a blessing in disguise

We are all here to cross paths with others who are in worse situations than we are. To acknowledge and sympathize. To endure and ensure that pain subsides with time.

As one hand washes another, as with time heals all wounds.

It is bound to work together as unity till infinity and never diversity as long as trust is built then relationships bloom.

Optimistic Devi 🌹😘❤️

Find and free to be me

I find peace in knowing that my writings have set me free

Free from bondage, and hands which hurt

Free from discomfort and excruciating pains in the soul

I find peace in the sounds of the birds chirping at my windowsill

The smell of summer BBQ, freshly cut grass and cold Coronas on a Sunday afternoon,

Relaxing and meditating

On the beauty which unfolds

I am free to choose the directions in which I must go

I am Free to let the past remain and live only for today in hopes of a better tomorrow.

Free of all uncertainty

Love, peace, and destiny

I have found Hope!

I find joy in intelligence, in education and wisdom from the old.

I find myself through this mystical mystery dream as I let go of the hurt.

I am free to create beautiful memories.

I am free

To share my past pain experiences and joys which slowly unfolds

Creating the image of a woman which stands before you, highly motivated, great ambition, heart as gold, great potentials, loyal and dedicated.

I find peace in simplicity

I am

Free to be the woman I am meant to be!

Optimistic Devi 🌹😘❤️

Wire tap

Invasion of my conversations

But not just that

You snatch my mind as you invaded my space

Reading my writings

And getting lost in my thoughts

You dared to rewrite my destiny

And let me tell you what a failure that would be

My journey is for me

So look as you will

Inquire deep within

And you will see that it is not I who am lacking

You invade my space, you read my mind, and with that information you can destroy my life!

So what I share or I discuss

It is my business and not yours

So seek what you wish to find and you will see that it is me

A broken hearted, loving human, who seeks for love and loyalty

Seek so you know that I hide nothing because my mind is like a chess game

The Queen 👸 protects her King 👑

And my King is my destiny

I take pride in “ME”

I hold those keys 🔑

You have that lock

And trust you can continue to wire tap

Failure knocks on your doors

For seeking and invading my privacy

Rather I hope you shed a few tears or so

Because In my writings only then will you

Know

The woman I am is not what you imagine

I am worth far more beyond your worthless imagination

🌹Mystical Rose 🥀

🌹Mystical Rose 🥀

Withered away

As sunlight turns to dark

As clouds became black

As stars shine on the dark

A blanket of love

As lights lit the path

And visions became reality

Ahead of time we see the future and still we have no remedy

No cure for disasters

As mystical roses are destined to be destroyed

We humans are

Entwined with abilities and qualities

With lust and love

Hate and war

We are born to have balance

Mystical Rose 🌹 I dare you be

Beautiful enough to shine through the storm and the roughest of dark

With

Head held high

as the day you were born

Pushing through with effort and demand

Reaching for the stars and climbing ladders to capture your goals

🌹 Mystical Rose 🥀

Life is a funny funny 😆 place

Life is a funny funny place

We are born to die

We suffer to live

We ache and cry

We love and smile

We grow angry and hate

We love and get married

We bore children to teach

We are born to reproduce

We raise pets to be loyal

We are taught to be humble

We kill to eat

We plant to reap

We create electricity to bring fourth light

We create gasoline to cook our food over

We are each created uniquely

We make music

We write lyrics

We are observers

We are dictators

We are followers

We are leaders

We are successful

We are in poverty

We are blessed

We are stressed

We are made to empower and be empowered

We are made to conquer

We are made to destroy

Life is a funny funny place

We live to learn

We adapt to surroundings

We are created to be our own

We are taught to reciprocate a good deed

We live to enjoy and be merry

We live to be sad and diverse

We are companions

We are associates

We are executors

We are defenders

We are sociopaths

We are condemn

We rebuke

We praise

We are judged and we judge

We are convicted and we are sentenced

We are good and evil

Life is a funny funny place

We are destined to become someone

Someone to inspire, to influence, to inquire and reason with.

Someone to admire and acknowledge leaving behind a legacy.

Love is life and life is a funny funny place

We endure and we disperse

For every action is a reaction!

Agree to disagree

Life is a funny funny place

Optimistic Devi ✍️😘❤️

I hate him!

I hate him with a passion of death

The desire of smells

Blood like

Thick and red

Clots hanging out the corners of his head

I hate him!

He makes my stomach turn

My body burn

My head hurt

And leaves my soul suffocated in the dirt

I hate him!

I cringe at the sound of his voice

It’s in my head

I can’t stop the noise

I hate him!

Like the caged bird I am now

He captured me

Cut down my wings

And stole me away from my serenity

He took my heart and tore it apart

and called me the most horrible

Names in the dictionary

And this man thinks I would say yes to get married!

I hate him!

I hate him for destroying my life, damaging my pride, making me weak, taking advantage of me!

I hate him for the fingers which he points,

the words that he speaks, the truth between the lies, the blame that’s on me, I hate him!

I hate that games that he plays, the words of love I never got to hear, the anger which he showed

I hate him so!

I hate the name calling and the financial abuse

The times I spent hours to work my fingers to the bones

And he took my money and spent it on whores.

I hate him!

I hate walking through the doors after a hard day of work and have to be abused with words of hate and bitterness from the lips of a man who wishes me bad

I hate him!

I hate him and I hate that I forgave him

I’ve healed past that hate

I’ve removed myself for the obstacles which I once faced

I forgave

The hardest thing an individual has to do when love has been burnt

Is to forgive that hate and move forward

Optimistic Devi ❤️😘✍️

Silence your agony

Silence your Agony

Treasure the beautiful memories

Embrace the journey

Inhale, exhale

Escape

Silence your agony

Remove your pain

Replace it with a passion

Elevate your mind

Learn new traits

Be silent and listen attentively

Silence your agony

Remove acrimony

Replace it with euphony

Dedicate time and stay focused

Life is worth it

Get motivated

Improve your capabilities

As time passes by

Slowly your agony will be diminished

Silence your agony

Flamboyant Girl

Flamboyant Girl

Exuberance, and confident soul

Brighter than the sunrise in the horizon

Intelligent mind

Motivated soul

Desires of the heart

Purest of love

Flamboyant Girl

Unique in her ways

Exotic and beautiful

Captivating to the eyes of those who reaches far enough to touch her soul

She’s loving

She’s loyal

She’s respected

She’s giving and always willing to save lives

Exquisite in poetry

Delicate emotions

Fragile heart

And irresistible

She’s adventurous and daring

Outgoing and optimistic

Bold and sufficiently powerful

With the words from her lips and the sway of her hips

She’s magnificent

Flamboyant Girl

Mystery child

She holds pain and with each, she channels it through her poetry

Writing soothes her aches

It’s relaxing to her and she enjoys to meditate

Red wine 🍷

Slow soft jazz

As she tightly grips the pen with her fingertips

As each letter glides across the blue lined pages

She reminds herself she is strong 💪

Letting words flow

Releasing all pains and sorrow

Flamboyant Girl that is me

Young at heart

Old as gold

Wisdom and strength through painful experiences

She’s flamboyant

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️😉

As women we are taught to be independent from since a little girl

The old words from the wise

“Men can take away anything materialistic from you but what’s in your mind none can ever take or change!”

I believe that this statement is a fact

Mellifluous Man

Mellifluous Man

Sapphire tie, Etiquette, Dulcet, charm

Damn you blow my mind

Your lips

They quiver

as we stand facing each other gazing into the eyes of one another

Beach front

Feet in sand

Hands held tightly firm

Mellifluous Man

You remain on my mind

You make me wild 😜

Idyllic I am

Satisfied with every want and need

Mellifluous Man

Stay the way you are

Captivate my beauty

Indulge in my essence

Allow me to escape in your mind

Run wild on your emotions

Caress my dedication

Devote yourself in my potential

Be the reason behind my motivation

Light the path to my destination

Excluding all negativity

Serenade me with your mystery

Mellifluous Man

I give you permission to drain my energy

Lip lock with my melody

Mixed tapes filled with passion and poetry

As we correlate

with the perfect rhythm

Mellifluous Man

Take my hand 🤚

Dance with me into eternity

Create with me a haven

Collaborate with me a new destiny

Dedicated to

My Tiger

My one and only true Love ❤️

Vickram

Love always your Yogi Bear 🐻

Trials and tribulations

Judgement day is near

God is sending his army

as the Government are keeping us in captivity

Dividing us and creating misery

Stripping us of our pride and dignity

What is this destruction in humanity?

It’s the war against the innocence

The hate from a president

The blame of other countries

The criticism of other races and religion

The pain of separation

It is

The mind of a simple man with authority power and money

Filled with greed and conspiracies

We will face battles after another.

As humans we are made to conquer

And over come

The battle of war and evil has officially begun

Temptations and dishonesty is among us today

We can and will over come

We will prevail

Don’t let temptation of the demon conquer you

You reach out and conquer “him!”

Generosity and a changed life

Pupils dilated

From the drugs in my system

Senses sharper than a double edged razor

Veins swollen

Skin

Black and blue

Same old torn up stockings and butchered hair cut

It’s been over a year

The drugs have taken control of me

I’m lost

Cold

And numb

I wake up in search of my only companion

My drug

I opened my eyes

None I found

as I laid behind the garbage dump

As the sun rays beam upon me

It gets brighter by the seconds and it’s scorching hot

My body burns

Skin pale

I hear

The sounds of giggles

And stands in front me a young girl no more than five years old

Giggling 🤭 to her mommy’s joke

She looks down and turns to me

Her whole expression changes

I sat as I watched her turned head and eyes gazed at me

She suddenly stops and pulls her mother back

To give me her candy 🍭

Arms stretched out she handed me

“Here Miss, I want you to have my candy. Mommy says it’s good to share.”

In disbelief I sat with tears in my eyes

Uncertain of why this little girl choose me

I was speechless 😶 and disgusted at myself

That little girl took my breath away

But also broke my heart that day

I wasn’t a bum

Nor

Had I have no Home

I was simply an addict

I was lost and alone

And

That day my soul was renewed

I was given a chance at life again

I found emotions the first thing in the morning as the sun just beamed on me

I saw that light

I felt the pain

And through my might I was willing to fight the urge of the drug which destroyed me

I wanted my life back

With one smile and the generosity of a child

Lives can change

If I did

so can you

Take it from an addict who has been cleansed and renewed

God is great and he may not always come but he sends

Cheers To the strength through a tiny soul which God has given to bless me with another chance at life with simple generosity and a sparkle of love ❤️

Happy 4th 2018

4th of July

We celebrate our country Independence Day

A day of freedom and liberty and justice for all

This year we aren’t free

Look around you

What’s so happy about freedom that which we do not have

We have no choices

We have no voices

We have no control over anything

The system is placed to destroy us

To manipulate us

To terminate us

To deceive us

To entertain us

To remind us that we are divided

Look at our president

So bold and powerful that he is allowing his rage to take control of the choices he is making

Dividing mother from child

Eliminating Judges

Trash talking his peers or previous presidents

Let me remind us all that war and destruction is here and there’s no such thing as freedom

Pestilence, War, Famine, Death

It surrounds us all

Look around

Every day turn on the television

You hear the news

You see the damages every day

Floods, earthquakes, volcanoes erupted, poverty, separation, war, etc…

Even the medications we take

The whole system is rigged

We are told lies about our lives

Our health and even our wealth

The money we have isn’t our own

It all belongs to the Government

The Government has taken those rights from us today

Ever heard the concept of

“Innocent until proven guilty?”

Well sorry to break your bubble

Or turn your stomachs

But truth is that we are all part of this corrupted system

We are all

“Guilty until proven innocent!”

Wether we like it or not

This is the case

We are read our rights to remain silent when being arrested. Then we are charged with a crime

We then are given court dates to come back to fight our cases

Won’t you open your eyes and see that we are all held in captivity

The system controls us

One man can destroy us all

There is no unity

There’s no peace

I can tell you that corruption and war is ahead

It’s been foretold years before

The coming of the end of the world

It will be in fire and brimstone

The four horseman of the apocalypse is here

And destruction is near

The beast is marked

And the money is tagged

Encryption of demonic powers

The root of all Evil

Evil begins with the man who holds those power and the money

That evil is

The president

And today you all celebrate a day of freedom

Freedom of speech and yet we have none

We’ve claimed our independence yet

We have no rights

We are under man kinds powerful spell

Called the Government

Good luck to all

Happy 4th

God be with you as he is we me

Child on the Stand

It’s ashamed the world we live in today

That children under the age of ten years old

Are being dragged into the system

Being questioned by the governments

No rights to attorneys

No one to stand at their side

Not a mother, nor father nor any family or friend

The Judge 👨‍⚖️ is out to a task

As tears wells up in his eyes

He’s ashamed I can see as I watch him from TV

He’s ashamed to be the one who questions the innocence of a child

He’s ashamed of the system he has been chosen to work for

He’s ashamed that he’s going to have to make a decision

As the District Attorney reads off the case

The Judge looks down on his page

The charges that a child was accuse of

Entering the country without permission

As the Judge wipes the corner of his eyes

I began to pray

Head bowed, knees kneeled, I scream out

Dear God

Could you please Help!

Help these children who are in pain, the separation of a mother and a child is already a burning ache in their hearts

Now to be trialed and jailed and deported right after that

These are children my dear God

Help their souls to be happy and not sad!

Guide them through and blind the eyes of the Judge

Help him to see past his authority and show compassion and give these children mercy!

Amen 🙏

Indecisive of what to do

The Judge has stepped down

Leaving the case in dismissal

Our God is true and just and he will prevail

When we call on his name

He will come

When we believe in him

He will show us the light

It’s called faith, love, hope and dedication

Let’s being to pray because the end is near

Poetry

Poetry is about

It is wanting to resurrect or preserve or do things that pull against the fact of our mortality

Accepting criticism gracefully

Let your subconscious do the writing.

Edit carefully and without judging your own creativity.

You can write short sweet and simple

Or long heartbroken memories

The beauty of poetry is that you get to decide in your mind what you comprehend.

With time and persistence

Dedication and motivation

Writing ✍️ becomes easier and the words flow faster

The emotions grow deeper and life feels less painful as a weight lifted off your shoulders

Poetry is to inspire and be inspired

It is to define the world, life, families, friends, music, love, hate, husbands and wives, parents, grand parents, ancestors, children, rape, education, work, in laws, fun, sex, money, abuse, drugs, alcohol, etc…

Poetry can be written in many forms

And about anything

If you sit in silence and meditate on your title

You will find words that connects with another creating sentences and paragraphs, to pages and books.

Poetry is about

Digger deeper

Reaching for your soul

The hidden words which describes your emotions at the moment

Love

Hate

Gain

Lose

Pain

Inspiration

Hurt

Blame

Energy draining

Realize

Experience

Expectations

Anger

It’s beautiful to connect words and bring fourth

Smiles

Tears

Anger

Help

Advice

Trust

Loyalty

Relationships

Destruction

Business

Family

Career

And so much more

So the next time anyone has agreed to disagree

With the things I write

I hope you understand

That with poetry

It soothes the soul

Melts the heart

And changes your perspective on things through the eyes of the writer

He/she captures your personality

And embeds it into their heart

The way that poem makes them feel after reading it

A precious memory that would last for all of eternity

The drug that destroyed her home

His friends, fantasies, alcohol and cocaine

A love so rare

Nothing else matters when two souls connects and becomes one

No one else means much other than their love

When honesty and pleasure becomes hate and regrets

When joy becomes Grey and pain has been dealt

She sat and wondered to herself

All along

Everyone was right

And through it all she was blind

A love so rare

He was thirty she was forty one

He wanted to party she wanted a home

He enjoyed the company of his friends and she spent most of her time alone

As time went by

The love began to slowly diminish

Snatching all away from what she has built

The grief to leave behind her home

The pain she felt when she made up her mind

She did it with a cleared and conscience mind

Letting love slip away

Through her finger tips they go

Her heart she picks up from the floor

He wanted excitement outside of those walls

She wanted a baby and a garden of love

He destroyed her pride with his disgusted words

His sentences were like daggers to her soul

She lifted her head and motivated herself

Moving forward from the bitter memories which they had

She moved forward with one step after another

Taking back her powerful character

As journey takes her through

She will be okay

Because she is stronger than she seems

And her tears will flow

Many nights without him

But no matter how hard it may seem

She will glisten like the stars at night

With her head held high

Because she has overcome

She has finally stand up for what’s right for once

And she’s proud of the woman she became

She has higher goals and is worthy of so much more

I pray you’re safe now 🙏

Unexamined decisions, unforeseen consequences, drifting along with the current…. It’s easy for people to end up in places they never would have chosen. And then they feel trapped!

Conversations can lead to many destinations

Prolonged conversations

Descriptive emotions involved

When speaking of the past

From texts to talks

Letters to books

Poetry

Music, dance and destiny

From vacations traveling to different places

We spoke more than we slept and lived with no regrets

Time after time

Speaking of past present and future

Of marriages and happily ever after

Of babies and dreams

And after a long period of time

Prolonged conversations eventually died

We speak when spoken to

Otherwise

One argues and one stays quite

We point fingers instead of trying to figure things out

We blame without listening

We hate without understanding

We are bitter and cruel

We say hurtful things to make the better half of us cry

And after a while

Prolonged conversations died

Conversations can change the circumstances in any situation

Don’t allow any relationship to die because of your failure to listen and understand what you’re significant other is going through

At that moment when they need you most in their lives

Failure to speak can make silence break a heart

One cannot read your mind, nor can they

Understand your pain but one can listen and speak

If you cannot give good advice and you hold on to the past

Then be silent and let others speak and you listen

Wether agree or disagree or agree to disagree

Either way it clears the air of silence

It helps you to clarify things

And have a better perspective of the reason for another individual opinions

Life is remarkable and people are unique in their own ways

Only if you listen before you speak will you understand the beauty of life

Conversations can lead to many destinations

She is Me

She has been hurt

She has over came

She has been burnt

She has been healed

Broken wings

Keeps her grounded

She isn’t afraid of captivity

Because in her mind

She is free mentally

She loves with a passion

She ignites souls

She lift up praises

Her smile glistens like gold

She is a warrior

One of a kind

Someone who is worthy

Of a life filled with security and tranquility

She is her own authority

She listens to no one

Other than her beating heart

And her intelligent mind

She knows what’s wrong and she tries to do what’s right

She is fierce like a Tiger

And calm like a kitten

She wears pain on her heels

And writes of life’s battlefield

She is true to her friends and her main objective is Loyalty

She is a rare gem

One of a kind

If you get to know her

You will understand why

She shares her experiences

in hopes of teaching others

She loves unconditionally just like a mother

She is unique, humble and polite

Piss her off and you’re on the next flight

Out of sight and out of mind

She is victorious and respected

She is powerful with her mind and wicked with a pen

Her art brings out her soul as she shows the beauty of the world within her swirls

Each stroke entwined with each other

Captivating the eyes of another

She is encouraging and motivated

She doesn’t believe in time being wasted

She enjoys reading and writing

And Dancing in the rain

She’s unique in many ways

Sometimes people call her the Jack of all trades

She is inspired and she enjoys inspiring others

She believes that every female should know what it is to become a mother

She knows her worth and never settles for less

She is admired for her compassion and talents

She is dedicated to what she puts her mind to

She is unique and pure at heart

She will never back down from what she stands up for nor does she start a project that she can’t finish

She has pride and dignity

She doesn’t like to stress

She prays to God and leaves it in his hands

She gets angry at times

And says hurtful things

She’s not perfect and that she admits

She loves driving with the windows down, letting her hair loose in the wind

She says it makes her feel a sense of being satisfied

The roads make her smile

She loves long walks and romantic talks

And

Scary movies, on winter nights

Cuddled up with her perfect guy

She is the eye of life

The mother of a birth

The sense of direction

The passion in her soul

She is free as a bird

She transitions and adapts when necessary

She is kind and pretty

Brave as a solider

Wild like a beast

She’s daring

She’s loving and caring

She’s proud of who she is

She is Me

Optimistic Devi

And one day

She discovered

That she was fierce

And strong

And full of fire,

And that not even

She could hold herself back

Because her passion burned brighter than her fears.

I rather

I don’t know why I allow you to get the best of me

Each time you break me you are only making me stronger

Each time you degrade me

You push me away further

Each time you remind me of the past

It only makes me bitter

Each time you’re ready to verbally battle it only shows your true character

Each time you point one finger at me

Remind yourself that three points back at you

I allow you to humiliate me and degrade my character as a respected woman

And I refuse to allow you to have control over my emotions any longer

So each time you throw things of the past in my face

Think of how you would feel being without me for the rest of eternity

Think of how you would hurt to know that this woman of yours has found her worth

Think of how empty you would be

knowing that you can’t verbally abuse me anymore

Think of the times we once shared and cry yourself to sleep

Feel how I have felt when you left me many times not knowing where you went coming home the next day

Only

This time for me

I won’t be coming back

Because today of all

You have emotionally destroyed me

Also

You have brought me back to reality

And I have realized my worth

I refuse to tolerate the words you speak

I rather walk away with words of God bless and leave in peace with nothing on my chest to remind me of you

Or the hate that began to grow

I rather leave with a lesson learned instead of regret

I rather living life than the feeling of being dead with someone you think loves you the same as you love them

I rather sleep

Alone and at peace rather than with pillows in between

Separating our bodies from touching one another

Having pain in our hearts and questions on our minds

I rather be bold and confident working towards success than to be timid and unsuccessful

Because a quite mouth never gets fed

I rather speak what’s on my mind than to keep it hidden inside

I rather live and be happy than to be happy and not live

I rather joyful noises than screams of painful words from the person I love

I rather my life being alone than with someone who makes me hurt

With the words which he speaks

Slowly killing me

I rather be me than to live a lie

Of

Uncertainty

Where did the time go?

Where did the time go

We were once “One of a kind”

Now we’re just,

You are you and I am me

No longer one in unity

We were two hearts that became one

But things have changed and time has passed

So here we are with a less trusted start

Things are now placed with

That’s yours and this is mine

Where did we go wrong?

What happened to time?

We once battled on a field of love where we escaped life and became one

Today we are two

That’s because of you

You once placed all your trust within me

Guided your heart with all your might

Still I broke those walls with an impressive fight

As your love grew stronger each day

I was once proud of being your lady

You once loved me unconditionally

You once took care of me

Where did the time go?

Today you have hate and regret

Your words they hurt

Like the daggers to my chest

Crumbling my peace

My heart and soul

I didn’t want to say

But today of all days

I’ve had enough

So what will it be?

Is it you are you and I am I

Or will we be

Together as one?

I’m tired of trying to figure everything out

So let me know so time

I waste no more

Where did the time go?

Doctor Doctor 👩‍⚕️

Doctor, Doctor

Screaming for help

As the Doctors came rushing in

Heart rates dropped

Full body seizure

I can only hear the echos in my brain

Injections one after another

Blood being drawn to get tested

Not sure what’s wrong with my head

I can hear it clearly as the Doctor says

“Patient Pronounced Dead At 14:00 hours”

Doctor Doctor

I wish it was me instead of her

My life has no meaning

I wish there’s a way you can give her my soul

But even so

I don’t think she would be at peace

Because my life is filled with misery

My blood is filled with clots of pain

Clogging air passageways

My body broken and almost every joint has been replaced.

Arthritis takes over my hands and toes causing them to curl into different directions

I wonder what has happened so many times

It was just of a sudden

My veins are swollen from the constant pricking, energy drained, skin pale.

I’m hanging by a thread, wishing it was me that was pronounced dead!

Doctor Doctor

Can’t you see

The only reason I am alive it is because of those machines?

Doctor Doctor spoke finally

“I’ve prescribed medications one after another, I’ve researched every possible reasons of what could of, I have given you all the advice to help you not get to this stage, I have told you things to slow down the process of death, and still I stand to help you now after years, I still fight for your life and supply you with air. But instead you wish it was you that was pronounced dead. This makes me angry because I can only advice, it is you who will have to change the pattern of your style!”

Doctor Doctor

I understand

You have no idea of how I feel! You can only assume that I am in pain, unless

If I express with you the words from my lips.

I know you have tried but I haven’t done what I’ve been told and for this reason it is me that wishes to go.

At 12 with a skin disease, until my later teens and into adult hood I have suffered with much more than I should. From skin conditions, to diabetes, irregular periods, and thyroid conditions

I have had enough of fighting a battle I have no control of.

It is said medications can help but with that it causes reactions and other imperfections. At 12 It is not fair I lived with this pain all my life and nothing or no one will

Understand that COPD changes your life.

Doctor Doctor

Thank you for trying the best you could

I wouldn’t change what I’ve said

But I understand where you’re coming from and I too will try.

To be continued…

The thorns on a Rose 🌹

The Thorns of a Rose 🌹

It’s beautiful, so lovely, so exciting
but beware, of the dangers hidden there
Yes, it’s quite intriguing
I can’t believe what I am seeing
Do my eyes deceive me?
The rose isn’t quite what it seems

The sweet scent lures me near
Yet I simply stand static with fear.
But I feel so free,
the tender sweetness tastes so good…

I reach for the rose
but it falls from my grasp,
and tumbles out of reach,
and all I can feel is it’s pain.

It was the thorns of the rose
the ones you overlook
I thought the rose was pure,
but it was this that I mistook.
The pain of love slashes my heart
I scream in despair,
as I fall to my knees,
a simple phrase strains to leave my lips
‘Why me? Why me?’

What happened to excitement?
What happened to fear?
Where are those emotions now
that love is not so near?

I’ve lost the aroma of happiness
I am no longer free,
but trapped and quarantined.
Now I’m just another drone of earth,
Once blinded by sweet love,
but now I only see ugly truth.

How could something that feels so right
be so utterly wrong?
They all say ‘It’ll be okay’,
and that the hurt will not last long.
But the pain is still strong,
The emotion still lingers,
and it forever lives on…

Something so insignificant now,
Looking back I still feel the pain
something that may have meant nothing,
nothing at all.
But in my mind that nothing shall remain.

Am I just a simple being?

Am I just a simple being?

No, I am not

I am me

Uniquely formed with the intelligence of a scientist, the strength of a warrior, the love of a mother, the warmth of a friend, the joy after pain, the sunshine after rain, the beauty in the dark, the star that lights the skies, I am uniquely formed a woman of Gods creation.

Am I just a simple being?

No, I am not

I am the prize at the bottom of the cereal box, the toy in the happy meal, the laughter of a clown, the frown upside down, I am the reason for someone else life. I am me

Uniquely qualified!

Am I just a simple being?

No, I am not

I am the Diamond in the rough, been broken and fixed, I’ve been burnt and yet I healed. I am the sparkle in your fears, I write unity and advice, I live on the edge of life. I’ve been bruised and disrespected, still I manage to lift my head.

I am uniquely blessed

Am I just a simple being?

No, I am not!

I am the shadow that follows your path, behind your every step of the way. I pray for lost souls and hope that I get found. I am impossible but still I fear, I am human and I make mistakes!

I learn from them in my own way!

I am uniquely Born again.

Proud Great grandma 👵

My lovely mother

You are the best mother, grandmother, great grandmother, wife, sister, and my true best friend!

I saw this picture and felt so warm because I imagined how you once held me in your arms

How much you loved me since birth and although I may not say it much

As often as I should

I love you with every breath I take

And couldn’t be such a strong woman, a best friend to many, a loving sister, and a brat for a daughter without the woman I saw right in front my eyes for years since birth until now

I couldn’t be me WITHOUT YOU!

I learned so much from you

And I may make mistakes along the way

But please know that through them I always will turn to you first for that advice

Because indeed you weren’t lying when I was 13-18 when you said “let you be my sister, my friend, my mother, because only you will always carry my pain and joy for the beginning until the end!”

I know now mom and I love you for the love you have always given me

And I promise that one day soon I will make you even more proud

To know that this little pain in your butt has accomplished everything through your faith in me.

I love you mom

As we dance under star lit skies

The darkness consumes us

As our bodies are entwined

The sound of silence in the night

Hearing the owls cries

And seeing the stars twinkle

As The candlelight

CASTS

SHADOWS OF DANCING

FIGURES ON THE WALL

I follow your lead

Underneath a blanket of stars

April moon illuminating

that look

in your eyes

As The candlelight

CASTS

SHADOWS OF DANCING

FIGURES ON THE WALL

We sway past midnight

serenade

our every heartbeat

echoing its harmony

As The candlelight

CASTS

SHADOWS OF DANCING

FIGURES ON THE WALL

You speak measures of shadows into me.

Consuming my mind, telling me to come to you.

A meeting place in the dark whisks of night.

A midnight rendezvous of dancing in trance of blue.

Whirling under the stars even if evils we must fight.

As The candlelight

CASTS

SHADOWS OF DANCING

FIGURES ON THE WALL

In perfect synchrony

we move to the rhythm

of the night

find a closeness

as flesh

melds one into other

surrendering

mind, body and soul

As The candlelight

CASTS

SHADOWS OF DANCING

FIGURES ON THE WALL

Late night

Ruffling through some papers late at night

Stumbled across things I wrote so many ages back

I decided to write

Relieving my heart aches

That time I held my knees close to my stomach and hands crossed in front hiding my tummy in hopes of no one hearing

The grumbling sounds that beats against the walls of my stomach

It’s like something inside playing connect the dots

Trying to find it’s way to a perfect spot

To settle in and eat away at my flesh

From the inside out

The pains of being raped

That time I bled through my jeans

And the memories of the sounds of sirens

Entered my brains

Like a melody stuck on replay

As the ambulance arrives and two men approached

“Ma’am, are you conscious?”

That was the last words I heard

My mind blanked out

My heart rate slowed

I was in a shock

My body cold

My veins swollen from the alcohol in my system

See, I’m a diabetic

And too much sugar can put me into a coma

All that night I remembered

As they took me away

Into a safe place

Hand cuffs on the bed rails

As the detectives carried on with questions of problems I may have

Things or descriptions

Anything that can help him to catch the rapist of a twelve year old girl

My mind remained blank

My lips sealed

My eyes drifted off into a deep slumber

My pride was ripped out my soul

My dignity was shattered

My life was deleted at 12 years old

I became the blank pages in the entire book

By Darshini Devi Ramsaran

I am a writer

I am a writer

It is what I do

I bring fourth life

With the words that I write

Wether in pain

Or in joy

I enjoy grabbing the readers attention

Taking them on a roller coaster ride

Through each and every situation

Some are facts

Some are fiction

Some of other lives

Some of my very own

I enjoy looking down from my throne

Knowing that I’ve made someone smile, cry, laugh, sad, or moan!

I am a writer it is what I do

I cram thoughts of everything and put them into my own writings

I am a writer it is what I do

I get a blood rush through my veins

Like pumping gas into a tank

Drifting on with the winds

When writing stories of pain

I get goose bumps from the mysteries that I write

My emotions

I let loose and let the pen do it’s job

Gliding across the pages

With words of inspiration or discrimination!

I write it all

I am a writer it is what I do

I write of things that I hear, see, touch, breathe, or feel!

I write of privacy invasions

I write of occults

Of time and dedications

I write magic from my head and put on paper for you to read

Show you things in life which I feel

I am a writer it is what I do

I write of enemies

I write about shoes

Give me a title and I’ll make it come to life

Lighting up this dark world

Bringing fourth life!

By Darshini Devi Ramsaran

Red wine in the Rain

Red wine in the Rain

As we listened to the drops

Pounding on the concrete roads

Eyes locked on each other

Creating a spark,

Through our souls

As the fire begins within

Our feet moved with the rhythm

No music to serenade us though

Just the breaths of ours beneath each other

entwined through chemistry in the mind

As you awaken my emotions with your sultry dedication

My ear lobes you tickle

With a soft white feather

Dipped in oils of lavender

And rose petals

Our bodies combustion

Erotic eyes Connects

An Adrenaline rush I get,

As his fingers touches my G-Spot!

Losing sight of lavish cravings

Because this feeling is worth more than ones mind can ever imagine

Red wine in the rain is the feeling I get

When my lips is wrapped around it’s sweet taste

from the rim of my glass

To napes of his neck

As my man grabs me by the hands

Leads me through his soul

Two hearts one connection

As he gently enters between the junction of my thighs

My core he entered with a sweet surprise

As time passes the friction of our bodies were ignited

A pool of moisture releases,

I fell flat…

I went into shut down mode

And he soothed me into slumber

Resting peacefully in his arms

After that last glass of

Red wine in the rain

And the most ever invigorating feeling

Red wine in the Rain

By Darshini Devi Ramsaran

04/04/2018

Man on a Robot

Man on a robot

Untouchable

Undeniable

Unmeasurable

Feeling inside

The way the soft winds caresses his face

As I glimpse his posture through the sides of my eyes

Gives me a chilling sensation up and down my spine

The way sunlight bounces off his pupil

Illuminating his path

Creating an invigorating feeling deep inside

As I watch him flow with the winds

As his feet is on air

He spreads his arms open wide

As he reaches for the stars at night

Soaring like an eagle in the sky

I see his soul soars high

As he flows with the air

A man he is that loves a dare

Each motion, each vibration, falls in seamless

As he balances his feet so he does with his life

Stability and strength

I see ahead

The path is clear and at the end there’s light

He shows me visions of a feeling so real

Takes me beyond imagination

Giving me a feeling of completion

I watch his shoulder as he swiftly maneuvers

In and out

Dodging cars and pedestrians on his route

He carries it in hands when not in use

And takes pride in his work and any adjustments that he do

Creating beauty with colors so daring

Opening the eyes of those to a brighter feeling

Placing lights

Modifying parts

A man with his robot

He loves with his heart

I watch as others stand in awe

As my man zooms past them with his one wheel robot

Which he adores

It’s a great feeling like no other

I can’t being to imagine how he feels after I see what his face shows clearly

A man and his best friend

Robot 🤖

Champagne on the beach

Champagne on the beach

It’s 8 pm

The sun have set

And the stars comes to life

Lighting up the dark Blue and Grayish skies

Sand in our feet

As we stroll underneath a beautiful blanket of starlight in the skies,

As the soft warm sand caresses our feet

He pauses…

momentarily

And held my hands to stay in position

Leaned over to me

With submission

And hands me a glass filled with champagne

Whispers in my ears

“Let’s exhilarate, together, stimulate our minds with words of desires, indulge into a world where two hearts make one connection!”

I gladly accepted

With arms wide opened

And movements of my lips

As I saw the twinkle in his eyes

When one side connected with the tip of a shooting star

Champagne on the beach

A real man indeed

As we synchronized our bodies

And our bare skin touches the sand

Our rhythms generated heat

As we locked eyes

Hips and thighs

Rolling on the beach

Suddenly his hands wrapped so tight

Yet

So gently

And…

I paused…

Champagne on the beach

He enters my Euphoric soul

Digging deeper into it

With every push

And every thrust

It Stimulates my mind

Making me melt

Like a volcano that erupts

As champagne he pours down my neck as it trickles down on to the tips of my breast

While

Seducing my nipples with the warmth of his breath

As his tongue wraps around my body

I melt

And the imagination of his lips and each swirl

Each turn it makes

He takes control

As these thoughts began to

Race through my mind

The chills I get goes through my spine

As my eyes rolled to the back of my head

He held me close

And begins to nibble on my neck

I drifted off

Into the best romantic Orgasm

Champagne on the beach

Champagne on the beach

By Darshini Devi Ramsaran

04/04/2018

Damn you Mr.

Why are you so angry and bitter

“Why are you so cruel Dear Mr?”

Asked the little girl with the skirt below her knees

As she shivers

From the chilled winter night breeze.

As snowflakes descends from the sky above, her skin becomes brittle and pale.

She began to scream and yell she’s in pain

“Please Dear Mr. I beg you to stop

This is enough

I’m only a child. What did I do to get roughed up?”

She questioned

While looking for anything in hands to attack but nothing in sight because she barely saw through her tear filled eyes.

A memory she relieved each day for twenty years of her life. Until she decided again to pick up her pen and throw Dear Mr. a scribe!

Dear Mr.

I sat and began to think of my dear life so,

Then I began to write you this letter.

I know you’re wondering as to why? But let me explain before you begin to rip these pages apart.

Allow me to introduce myself

And the reasons for my troubles

Remember that one night when the air was thin, cold and dark? Well, there may be many nights like that for you of course, however

I vividly remember the brutal torture

So let me remind you too.

It was freezing

10 degrees Fahrenheit outside

Dark, gloomy, hallow, and scary. That night a little girl trusted in you taking her home

Keeping her safe and warm

With the promises of words

Mentally challenging her intuition

As she only said yes because you were her friend uncle and her friend was there.

But you played her as a fool and ashamed I she was too

To accept a soda that night

And in return

She lost sight

She lost sight of what you did

To lure her into a trap

She lost sight that night

When She had a panic attack

She lost sight to what was around her

And all She remembered

Was that can soda

And how thirsty She was

How She so badly wanted to reject the offer

But because her poor tiny throat needed water

After singing at a church function

She was taken to an abandoned home

Raped

Beaten and brutally burned

All because She accepted your soda Mr.

She was taught as a child to deny the things a stranger hands her

But her friend is your niece and She looked at you like an Uncle

I guess that’s what it was

She just trusted the wrong person

You allowed that night to Ruin her life

At 12 years old

She lost her sight

She lost her peace

She lost sleep

She lost hope and faith and everything in between

She lost herself

Because She was thirsty

She blamed you for years

She blamed herself too

But inside

She knew somewhere

Somehow

She’d muster up the courage

And pull up her big girls socks

Put her hair back and shoulders straight

Letting her emotions flow through these written pages

She prayed She break you

Deep within

She prayed you suffer like She did

She prayed many nights and asked God to take her life

Because all along

She felt it was her fault

And deep down She knew somewhere she was not wrong

Twenty years later

She is still happy

To know that She has over come obstacles

More than many

Because what you’ve done

Has made her stronger

What you caused

Went from a disaster to helping many others

Saving lives from men like you

Guiding young girls to never make the same mistake she did

When she trusted someone like you

Your pain will soon come

And God knows it will

When thunder and lightning falls upon your head

She pray you don’t just crumble and vanish into thin air

She pray that you suffer until you’re dead

These were words she repeated in her head

Many gloomy days

And dark lonely nights

She prayed

Oh

She prayed for your death to be by her hands

She prayed like She would when God gives a command

But instead She found inner peace

And prayed otherwise

She asked God that he never takes your life

She prayed that you remember each day that you live

The screams which echoed for you to stop

The limp twelve year old child who bled heavily after you ripped her apart with your disgusting old Penis

She pray you remember it like it was yesterday

Each and every waking day

She pray you beg God to forgive you on bended knees

With tears stained cheeks

For hours at a time

And She pray

You have nightmares like She did too

Cold sweats

Lost thoughts

And impossible relationships where trust is an issue

She pray you suffer by the memories of the torture you’ve caused against a child

Today She stand as a woman with battle scars stronger than ever

Braver than one can be

Written with tears

Stained with blood

Finally after twenty long years

She can say

Enough is enough

She is now forever Free!

Damn you Mr.!

Words can kill

I stand

I stand up for women’s rights

I stand up against taking lives

I stand up against abortions

I stand up against bullies

I stand up against those who speak against those I love or me

I stand up for those who are weak

I stand up for children who grew up lost in the streets

I stand up against animal cruelty

I stand up for love and loyalty

I stand

Because I have my mouth which I use to speak

I use words that holds power

Like a double edge sword

Rub me the wrong way

And I would slice away at your tower

Breaking every inner sensation that’s embedded into your soul

Ripping through those soar muscles

And leaving you cold

Cold I maybe

Heartless many may speak of me

But truth be told

There are words in which can hurt

Hitting harder than any bullet

Crippling one in an instant minute

Leaving you paralyzed

Body frozen, Tongue tied, Jaws open

In disbelief

Words hit harder than they seem when spoken from the opposite opponent

Against your dignity

So when I said please don’t disrespect me

Don’t do it

Because I would leave you speechless

Emotionless

And lonely

Walking away with a smile on my face

To know that my words I speak

Left you feeling like a disgrace

Remember when one finger points at me

Three points back at you!

And this is that time

Where I relax and unwind

Lost in my tranquility

Leaving your words buried beneath my feet

As I sit on my throne shitting on your world!

Don’t ever mess with my Regality

I am that Queen and I crown myself

For the method of my madness is

Words 🤣

And some fists that can back that up too 😂

Just kidding

Hope you enjoyed ❤️😘

Man on a robot

Man on a robot

Untouchable

Undeniable

Unmeasurable

Feeling inside

The way the soft winds caresses his face

As I glimpse his posture through the sides of my eyes

Gives me a chilling sensation up and down my spine

The way sunlight bounces off his pupil

Illuminating his path

Creating an invigorating feeling deep inside

As I watch him flow with the winds

As his feet is on air

He spreads his arms open wide

As he reaches for the stars at night

Soaring like an eagle in the sky

I see his soul soars high

As he flows with the air

A man he is that loves a dare

Each motion, each vibration, falls in seamless

As he balances his feet so he does with his life

Stability and strength

I see ahead

The path is clear and at the end there’s light

He shows me visions of a feeling so real

Takes me beyond imagination

Giving me a feeling of completion

I watch his shoulder as he swiftly maneuvers

In and out

Dodging cars and pedestrians on his route

He carries it in hands when not in use

And takes pride in his work and any adjustments that he do

Creating beauty with colors so daring

Opening the eyes of those to a brighter feeling

Placing lights

Modifying parts

A man with his robot

He loves with his heart

I watch as others stand in awe

As my man zooms past them with his one wheel robot

Which he adores

It’s a great feeling like no other

I can’t being to imagine how he feels after I see what his face shows clearly

A man and his best friend

Robot 🤖

This is Life

This is life

What we see convinces our eyes

What we hear are sometime truth or lies

Not everyone is loyal

Not everyone can live

There are many who resist an opportunity when it presents itself

This is life

What we feel no one feels

What we need no one sees

What we crave no one knows

Life is a story

yet to be told

This is life

A journey ahead

Gains and strife

This is life

It is the life which many will become

And evolve

Some will awake to a rising sun

Some will bury with the pain or with love for someone

Some will burn to ashes in beggar or fame

Some will live on again and again

Some have beliefs of heaven and hell

This is the world we live in

This is life

Some may struggle

Some may not

Some may starve

Some may not

This is life

The question is

“What do you do with that time?”

You create your path to inspire and encourage or would you create your path to destruction

That choice is yours!

By Darshini Devi Ramsaran

04/02/2018

Little girl in the Rain

Little girl in the rain

As her reflection bounces back to the pupils of her eyes

From the puddle of water below her feet

Her fragile body bruised and in pain

Her knees weak

Her body limp

Her head lowered with tears in her eyes

As she cries out loud

But No one hears

I see her from a distant

As I watched with disbelief

Little girl in the rain

Stomach growling

In search of her next meal

I reached out to her

To Give her words of advice

In hopes of helping to change someone else’s life

Or even giving them the chance to move forward past the pain

Creating new memories

And with strength she gains

Little girl in the rain

I humbly asked you

Try the best you can and wash away your stains

Pick up your pieces and put them back together again

Little girl in the rain

She stared at me

Uttering words

With uncertainty

She nodded her head

Then looked at me and said

“I know!”

Each time I tried

Those were her words

Little girl in the rain

I broke down in tears

Watching her as she swayed from side to side

As a drunken wobble person in the dark late night

To see an beautiful angel standing in front of my eyes and my help she denies

Little girl in the rain

I pray you find your light

Inside of me

I will continue to try

It breaks my heart in two

But I promise I will try my best to help

With the simplest words of advice

And

Not just that

I will try to lift your spirits high

Encouraging you to do better with your life

Giving you compliments

As others defame your character as a child

I have faith

And in God I pray for the

Little girl in the rain

By Darshini Devi Ramsaran

04/02/2018

I Write ❤️

I write with a passion

All within me

Deep intellectual conversations written into poetic form

Creating an illusion

Adorning the mind

Taking you on a roller coaster ride

Sometimes up, sometimes down

I write with a mind filled of invigorating thoughts

The imagination I create is magical in every aspect

It is a way to control the mind and force emotions upon an individual

Bringing out things deep within the reader

Some may have experienced

Some may be curious

Some may cry

Some may smile

Some may laugh

But through it all

Words written with power in the hands which holds that pen

Seizing time and taking control

Of the eyes which glides across the written words on the white blue lined pages

I write because it frees my soul from the negativity

Causing life to replay over and over like a melody stuck in ones head

Words used to describe an emotion

Creating a beautiful connection

To the hearts and souls

Those young and old

Through life or death

These words must be heard

I write with dignity and pride

With love and joy

Sometimes tears in my eyes

I write to let the world know

That knowledge must be shared

It costs nothing to share

but in everything you have gained

Much more wisdom

Much more of life

Much more pain

Much more strife

Because in life there are battles in which we must face

Because without sunshine

There’d be no rain

Without water trees could not grow

Without love there’d be no hate

One hand washes another

And love leads to fate

I write because

One road leads to destinations

In which paths one must choose

The question is

Right path or wrong path

Which one would you choose?

I write to share the pains of another

And expressed emotion

The joy of life

The beauty of family

The love of a friend

The marriages of many

The concrete cell walls

The man on the bike

The woman in the rain

The rape at 12

The world which will one Day end

Etc…

it’s never always about me!

I write of other situations

And many more other stories

I write with anger

I write with fear

I write with drama

And I write with tears

I write each day

To remind myself

That I am worthy of more than I think

I write to let go of built up anger

I write to control that mind when it triggers

I write this journey

With strength and dedication

To bring me out of any dark situation

I write to free my mind

I write to free my soul

By Darshini Devi Ramsaran

04/02/2018

Late nights thoughts

It feels like yesterday all over again

The news of your life after death

Sick to my stomach

Heart ache and pain

Sad that I was not given the opportunity to thank you

For all that you did

I should have said it when I had the chance

Now you’re forever gone in physical form and there’s nothing that can bring you back

Angels were needed in heaven

And you were the one which was called

The humblest servant to our almighty God

I’m not angry

I’m not scared

I’m not worried

Because I know you are now in a much better place

I’m hurting inside of the way that you died

Begging and pleading for your one and only life

As you fell to your knees

I can’t begin to imagine what was racing through your mind at that exact time

I know if I was in your place

I might not handle it the way you did!

Your bravery, your life, you laid it all down when needed

by protecting your wife and child!

I am so proud to say you were the best friend anyone could ever have

And a brother who cared deeply for anyone you felt a spiritual connection with

I am proud to say

That we have met, paved a path of friendship and built a bond as thick as blood/ a brother and sister created through the heavens cloud

I wish you were here

To keep me sane

Many to share my poetry with

But none who understands of reading between the lines

You got it every time

My art you see was the most unique

The words I remember when you see me doodle on cold rainy days when the store was quite and no one around

You always told me

I knew how to turn a frown upside down

And put a smile on the faces of many

With the simple words of “have a great day honey”

You told me things to lift my spirit

Gave me reasons to which I should believe it

You saw the beauty inside of me which you pointed out each day

I miss that the most

You always gave me respect and never stayed away

Nor ever did neglect us

My life is in a turmoil and I know not of which direction to turn to

But I pray each waking day

That you are with God guiding us all through

Times have changed and people did too

But the memories we have of you

Lives on inside

We carry your name in our hearts with love and pride

We cherish the few moments that your time you took

We are grateful for every word you ever spoke

We pray that one day we will all be together

A family so strong

A bond that will never break

A seal of hope and faith

A signature of Loyalty

We are indeed a huge family

I miss you brother 🙏🏽❤️

Hello my name is Darshini and I would like to say that Oprah Winfrey is the reason I began to write poetry. She has been an inspiration to me since I was at the age of twelve.
I was a victim of rape, and verbal abuse. Due to this abuse I was incarcerated for four years fighting my case behind those cold concrete walls. I was granted a pardon from the former Governor David Patterson. Mr. Patterson pardon has protected me from going back to a country where I knew nothing of. The abuse in which occurred in my past has been my strength. I know that Oprah is a woman who believes she can change the lives of many and today I would like to personally say that Oprah has indeed touched my heart and soul, giving me strength and inspiration to keep pushing forward and keep standing firm, believing in my heart that “this too shall pass”. Oprah has touched my heart and soul giving me hope and faith.
I know that this is only suppose to be a question but being that this is my first and probably my last time ever seeing such a phenomenal woman in my life close up in person, I figured that I would spill my heart out. In hopes of this message getting out to her.
I am extremely excited to see
A Wrinkle in time.
I wonder how amazing it was in making this movie with the youths of today. The eyes of those beautiful children looking up to you as you guide them through.
You have been and always will be an inspiration to me Oprah.

My questions today,
How does it feel to be a part of the movie
A Wrinkle in time?
Are you planning to make more Disney movies?
Will you ever grant me the opportunity to be a part of your book club? Would you kindly accept my small token of appreciation with one of my unique art drawing?
I love you Oprah and I pray that you continue to shine in this dark world in which we call life, because of you I am able to smile through my pain. Through good and bad I pray for the strength to carry through and I pray that one day I can be a woman just like you. To inspire and to guide, to love and protect, to give great advice and to listen to those in need of an ear.
Thank you for being an inspiration

My lovely niece

My lovely Niece

Words are not enough to describe the way you make me feel

The moments from birth until now

I’ve vowed to protect and guide you the best way I knew how

I listened to you and gave you advice

I learned things from you and couldn’t imagine a life without you ever

From baby until now and further more

I promise to treasure

Every waking moment spent with you

For the love you have shown me

Is remarkable

When all denied the love I had for you

You’ve shown them that my time was worth something in your eyes

When others pointed and said I was a bad influence in your life

I only wanted you to experience life for what it was

Starting with the pain, hurt and blame

Because society is what makes most of us

I told you to be brave

Embrace it all

That “this too shall pass!”

Today you are the woman I never was

And I’m so proud of the lady you have become

A rush of joy tingles through my soul

So excited to see what the future holds

You’re a mother now

And I’m so happy for you

The best knowledge you’ve learned from the women in this family

I pray you take with you on this beautiful journey

As you see the changes in your lovely baby boy

I pray each moment is treasured without any fights

I pray he looks at you with only smiles

And loves you immensely without denies

I pray no bond is broken and you live life to it’s fullest with your lovely new family

I hope I live to see this happen and one day become a great great aunty

😂

Thank you for the beautiful journey you have given me

For without you at my side

I had no real friends

You are my niece, my loyal friend, and most of all you have made me so proud of you

Trials and tribulations of you may face

I pray I am still here to help with whatever it takes

For my heart isn’t as strong as it was before

I hurt, I cry, I feel pain like never before

But in my heart you will always be

For he simple fact

You’re my lovely beautiful niece

I love you Brittany ❤️😘

Hope you enjoy this scribe

With eyes wide open and nothing but smiles

Seeing you grow up

It’s a blessing to me

I pray you’re loved through every individual you meet

Because you’re worth more than the diamonds that light up the skies

More wonderful than many of those in my life

God bless you on your beautiful journey

❤️❤️❤️

Brittany’s new beginning

As you turn a new chapter in your life

I pray for you

I pray you soar like the birds in the sky reaching for the stars ✨

I pray Jacob is born with 10 fingers 10 toes

And healthy as a horse

I pray your life blooms with joy and love always

Remember as the season changes so will the times

Don’t lose hope when things don’t seem to go right

Have patience when Jacob cries

Give your all as your mother did for you from birth until now

And even beyond much more years to come

Be his guide if ever he may stumble and fall

Pick him up and hold him dear into your arms

I pray you find peace and comfort with your bundle of joy

I pray that God watches over him while he’s asleep at night

I pray no harm ever comes his way

I pray for you now more than ever especially today

I love you beyond words in a dictionary that can describe

And I’m so proud of you my dear niece

Can’t wait till you’re Jose’s wife

Then this story book will be sealed

A family of love, joy and loyalty

God bless you both with your little man on the way ❤️😘😊🙌🎉🎊👑

The new beginning

Love Entwined

Your love

Your love has captivated my inner being

Tangled me into mind blowing sensations

Whirl winds and thunderstorms

Lightening and rain

The loyalty is gained

Respect given with questions asked

No demands made

No boundaries

For this love is stronger than the solar system

Your love has erupted in the depths of my heart causing my soul to intake all of its chemicals

Burning desires

Though miles apart

Your love leaves me weak

Your love deeper than the oceans

Stronger than Concrete

There’s no reason for us to be discreet

I prefer the world to see

Endless blessings flowing through my veins

A remarkable feeling no one will understand

Unless of course

You’re heart has felt what I was dealt

A Euphoric taste

Your love held my soul

Devi Ramsaran 2018

Impetuous Ecstasy

Impetuous Ecstasy

As your fingers ran through my hair

Your eyes scintillate (glistens)

Your heart no fears

Temerarious (daring) if you must

Lips to lips 👄

Prurient (passionate) kiss 💋

Hands enveloped (wrapped)around

Bodies entwined

Apathetic (slow) Breathing

My soul a catastrophe

But a kind that is saccharine (sweet)

Impetuous Ecstasy

Manipulating my perception

Creating a sweet sanctum (haven)

Divided by obliteration (nothing)

Two hearts one connection

Impetuous Ecstasy

Devi Ramsaran 2018

Lifeline

My lifeline

Thankfully I’ve never used it up

Usually I am the one everyone calls

In desperate times

For a listening ear

Or even advice

I wonder how many are out there today

That will allow me to use a lifeline when I’m in need

I’m sure there’s not that many

Maybe a few possibly

Whatever it may be

Just note I wouldn’t ask

Unless I desperately need

Lifelines are used for moments when all else has failed

Don’t abuse a privilege

For that is what it is

Lifeline

Devi Ramsaran 2018

My first song

When all else has failed

I’ll

Be right there my dear

Seeking you, comforting and guidance through

With a love that is so rare

Baby, let me, take you, there

You’ve helped me, conquer the world of beauty

With your smile shining through

I’ll be always, next to you

With a love that is so rare

Baby, let me, take you, there

As the flowers bloom through the seasons

And when the cold air withers it away

I’ll be there, to catch, every single tear drop

With a love that is rare

Baby, let me, take you, there

As the sunlight brings in warmth

Keeping you safe from all harm

As the rain coming in down and

The humidity expands

With a love that is rare

Baby, let me, take you, there

Let me take you into my arms

Keep you warm at heart

As your soul glistens, while lighting up all paths

With a love that is rare

Baby, let me, take you, there

With a love that is rare

Bound by the heavens above

As angels singing so loud, while playing their harps

A love that is hard to find

I will forever be one of a kind

With a love that is rare

Baby, let me, take you, there

By Devi Ramsaran

The passion of life after death

I wonder what you’re doing in heaven right now

Are you rejoicing with the angels as the Bible speaks of life after death?

Are you resting until God calls all of his best?

Are you jumping for joy to see how much you were loved? Or

Are you listening to every words spoken of time and God?

I wonder

Are the clouds caressing you when you need a hug?

Are the angels showing you how to guide those you’ve once loved?

Are you an angel just as we see on TV?

Or

Are you just sitting and enjoying time with the almighty?

I wonder

When my time comes

I wonder how it will be!

Are you dancing and prancing around in serenity?

Are you eating or do your stomach fill with just love and peace?

Are you at the golden gates as the Bible states?

Or

Are you awaiting until we all (humans)face judgment day?

Are you able to talk to God?

Are you able to see him?

Are you safe and Warm?

Are you cold or scared?

I wonder when someone dies

Of a random death

How do they move on in life after death?

Are the things in the Bible we read True?

Is God really waiting to greet those who have passed on?

I wonder an entire book

So this is where I am shook!

Till my time comes only then will I truly know

Because the beauty of life is to live on with great hopes

Meeting your creator is a wonder in the mind

Until the end of your life

And when it is your time

Only then will we all know

The passion of life after death

Inner soul captivating hearts

My passion for poetry keeps me awake

Drifting into deep thoughts…

Motivation

As each time, I begin to write

I pray to shine some light into the souls that are lost For words

Giving each of you a piece of hope

A little of me

With love and serenity

Compassion and unity

I pray that some day

My words of Wisdom becomes the reason for someone’s better future

Looking forward to a beautiful ending

As we embrace time and dedication

To acknowledging that life no matter what it be, we count those blessings

And humble ourselves to Divine beauty

Vision of light

A flash of lights across my eyes

While closed

Usually there is darkness

But I felt that bright light connecting my soul to something beyond this world

I’m not sure what it was

Although, you were the first person I thought of

Keeping me awake

While thoughts ran through my head

I visioned your smile

Then came the sound of your voice

Giving me a sense of hope

A light path of direction

You have thought me to embrace Beauty inside and out

And pray for those who always argue and shout

You showed me to love unconditionally

Finding flaws in no one

I listened to your voice but I felt your soul

It is beyond words that any dictionary can describe

You’re so close but yet so far away

Your presence is in desperate need for us all

Still we pray

To find comfort in knowing you’re in a better place

Many would say!

Thankful for the words of wisdom you’ve taught me

I find peace in knowing I can share those dreams with those in need

Of a vision so deep

Beyond words in a dictionary

Your love for people and life was rare

Your affection and devotion was no dare

It came from the heart

Now

You have birthed a new beginning

Making us a beautiful place in heaven

As you work your fingers to it’s very end

I thank you in advance my dear friend

We love you Jay Vellos ❤️🙏🏽💭

Our beloved gone but not forgotten

Your illuminating soul has captivated our hearts. You were an intrinsic nature, humble, loyal, ambitious, loving, caring and independent.

A son, A brother, A friend, A husband, A father, and now you are a King with a whole new meaning.

Life is designed to include perpetual change. This is one change no one will ever be able to adjust to.

A King who once stood firm with wisdom and strength, an armor to protect, and a courageous man whose wealth was built on Love.

Till we meet again my family, my friend

From the Sunrise to the Sunset

Until the very end of our last breaths,

We have loved you then and now even in life after death.

Bless up

Think about it 🙏🏽

My poetry is to make you think 🤔.

What is life without an end?

We all must go one day

But our parts we separate

We love differently.

Some look back on memories.

Some which are beautiful and some that which in pain a heart may never heal.

We are taught to let go of our physical presence and let God work through our soul.

We are taught that the body is a temple and heaven is filled with gold.

So why do we all believe differently?

It is in the mind

And based on certain memory.

We are taught to respect your elders, ask permission when needed to speak.

But why is it that in today’s world

We interrupt as while others speak?

We are taught to listen and take heed to the older words of the wise and later on in life we follow those concepts some are truth and some are lies.

How do we believe what we are taught is even wrong or right?

We believe when we search deep within

For answers that are deeply hidden.

But the only

Way to conquer this battle, is to reach deep down inside and let that light shine.

You never know what it is you may have kept secretly tied

Unless you reveal it a little at a time.

And that is what death is

To celebrate life after death

As we all must leave earth one day

So why have regrets?

Starting searching now

For the journey is like a roller coaster

Sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down

But through it all

Pray each step of the way

For God leads no one astray.

As time may pass us by slowly

We gain Knowledge through experience and then we have the blessed opportunity to pass that wisdom down.

🙏🏽

Yours truly

Devi

Writing

Writing ✍️ when hurt

The pain in the tips of the pen against each sheet of paper

Seems to flow drastically

As hearts are poured out and souls are cleansed.

I’m proud of the woman that I am.

The pain keeps me humble and the writings on the walls, keeps me sane. It’s memories I relive but I gain with strength.

Written with blood

Stained with tears

Yours truly

Devi

I write

I write because it makes me happy

I write because I’m free

Mentally

I write for a better understanding of life and reflect on bitter memories

In hopes of making me stronger

To withstand the storms that are yet to come.

I write to give others inspiration for that is from the mind which God has given me to share.

I write for those who in need for a little light to burn deep within

Helping those who were lost to find comfort from God above

I write to free my soul and enhance the minds of the wounded

I write each day, for the battle is my determination.

I write to spark a heart

Captivating ones soul

I write of past, present and future examples of the laws of life.

I write for those who don’t believe that the vision is straight ahead.

I write to motivate, inspire, acknowledge, and teach and I hope those who enjoy

Always continues to read…

🙏🏽

Gone but never forgotten ❤️

From the moment we first met

All I knew is that your expressions left impressions in my mind that which I cannot ever forget.

Your words of wisdom and time of dedication to acknowledge my ambition meant the most important thing for me

Having me come to realization

That I am not just a new book

Rather I am a limited edition

Your comforting words of silent relief allowed me to conquer the enemy which laid within me

Your hopes and prayers have guided me through in the darkest of moments where suicidal thoughts ran through my head

And all I wished was death

You watched me smile, you saw my tears, you heard my sobs and listened to my fears.

You gave me advice

You lifted my life with compliments of beauty inside and out

You stood up for my woman’s worth and denied those who disrespect and misunderstood my kindness for weakness

Your life on earth will never be told unless I write your journey into a book

And make you smile from deep within

An Angel who has gone but will

Never be forgotten

Bless up Jay

Your baby sis Devi Ramsaran

Dedication to Jay

Allow me to begin this with a Thank you Thank you 🙏🏽 for being a blessing in all of our lives.

Thank you for the loving time you took in listening to my mother cries

Thank you for the time I needed a friend, to listen to me complain of all the things you taught me to be grateful for today. Today I have listened loud and clear that Tomorrow is never promised to anyone.

Today I am blessed to have known you, learned about you, grown to love you as not only a customer, or even as a friend but most of all

I love you as you are my brother.

Although we are all hurting deep inside,

We know that God has greater plans for you as an Angel at his side.

It’s hard to accept that you will no longer be here in flesh and bones

But I find comfort knowing that your presence are within our hearts and souls.

You are one of a kind, humble, loyal, and peaceful, a devoted son, customer, friend, brother, father, and husband. I’ve learned so much from you and I thank you for the wonderful talks. You are a great listener, great adviser, and a caring individual. Your soul was pure and will remain that way. I thank God for allowing us to all be a part of your life and even after death

We will be one again.

I find peace within when I let go of that balloon. I felt your presence and heard your voice inside my head

Saying “Pray”

I promise you Jay that no matter what it is I will be there for both of our moms

I will be there for Stephanie and Rain the best that I can

I will try to comfort and listen when they need an ear or advice

Because you, my brother has done the exact same for us all over here.

We never got to show you our appreciation but I pray you know now how deeply we are thankful for all you have done and all you have been to us

We love you dearly and this is only one note. Imagine how much more I will

Write of the stories you left behind

I promise to keep you living on

With memories of the day your wife said yes to a proposal

I would never forget the smile on your face

And the day when we were talking about names

For your princess and how much joy you were in before she arrived

Those are priceless memories which made us so happy for you

I pray you are smiling down from heaven

And watching over us all

There’s too much more to write

Because a great man as yourself

Deserves more than a note

You deserve your very own book!

A King who died saving his Queen and his princess.

My title for you

One day it will be a hit

Thank you Jay

I know this note is kind of long

But please bare with me some more

I thank you for your words of encouragement, I thank you for your wonderful compliments, I promise you big brother that from up there you will

Be amazed

By the words in which I will place to dedicate to you

A title which can no other man ever take

“A Loyal and peaceful Humble King”

That book will be only of you and your life.

I knew there was a reason why you kept telling me to continue to write, I knew you always lifted my spirits with your amazing smile, when you told me that my art was intriguing, captivating and filled with lots of surprise.

I know now that you wanted better for me brother and I promise I have listened now

I just wish

I listened a little sooner

Then maybe somehow I could have showed you in person

I pray you rest in Paradise

Until we meet again

Your little sis Dee and all

The ones you left behind

At Devi Deli 108 St

Respect and

Bless up

You left a legacy behind for me to write about

Thank you 🙏🏽

A King Who died protecting His Queen and his Princess

Waking up to news that you are no longer here

Aches my heart

Knowing you have been such a humble individual and wonderful son to your mother as well as mine

Your great deeds as a friend, a loyal customer, and a big brother/little brother

Will never be forgotten

Although we mourn your passing

We celebrate the truth of your death

We know you died like a Bo$$ protecting your family

Covering them with your love, your loyalty, your care, you sheltered them with your all and died like as A HUMBLE KING 👑

So cheers 🍻 to the Coors light specials, Ciroc’ and Henny Shots

I’ll never forget our talks

I can still remember when you fell in love with your wife

Your ran to me with questions of how to propose

And you did it exactly the way we discussed

You knew she was the one

In such a short time

I saw your eyes lit up with such joy

And the news of having a little princess 👸🏼

On the way

Your expressions were priceless

You have left behind a legacy

So tonight although we are in tears and mourn your death

We drink for you and celebrate the joy of your loyalty

Your strength, your courage, your love and passion for people

Always

Team # bang # In

Your true soldiers

Me of course #1 lol 😂

Amit, Daniel, Vic, Gary, Mike, Ravi, Neil, Blue, PR, Evelyn, Marando, Moms, Pops, Chris,

forever

May your soul Rest In Paradise

Respect and Bless Up

Love you Big Bro/Lil Bro

Team#Bang#In

All of Me 

I see more to you than the physical attraction in the human eyeI feel far more than the warmth of your tender touch

I see something in you which many have never took the time to search for

I see beauty inside and out

A character that has moral values of self-worth

I see a person with confidence, persistence, motivation, sophistication, and much more

I see beneath the outer strength

I see a heart filled with pain yearning for healing

I see the tears hidden behind those smiles

I know because I have been down that same road

I want to take you to higher levels beyond your imagination

Sit you on a throne while you look down at the world and smile

To the faces who thought you wouldn’t make it this far

I see a person who I can spend the rest of my life with and enjoy every moment we share

I see a person who has no trust in women and refuses to let anyone in his heart

I see me having to work harder to make you mine to keep forever

But

Those are only things that I see

Things I want to do…

I want to take you to the most extreme exotic side of me

I want to make your eyes capture my smile and in your mind forever will it remain a memory

I want to be by your side through the pains and the joy

I want you to know that you make me the happiest woman in this world

I want to go places with you hand in hand, romancing and exploring the world

I want to be that person you share your life with happily ever after

I want to have a son and daughter

I want to be your bride that you will always cherish and honor

I want to claim that position as an honest wife filled with devotion to her husband

I want the memory that we’ve made to live on for our kids to one day tell

I want the life of being that dedicated wife.

What I see and what I want is an opportunity that is waiting for me to open up the doors and accept with open arms

What I need…

What I need in my life is someone who can make me a proud wife, a mother and a best friend

What I need is real love, time dedication, smiles on my face, and a heart with no space for anyone but my name and more than ever I need someone to respect, trust and believe in me

What I need is Man who will never stop me from pursuing my goals in life and stand by my side if I failed

What I need is someone who can promise and be as firm as possible to it

I need more to a person than just a communication

I need to know, to feel that his heart alone belongs to me

What I am willing to give…

I am willing to give him my heart, mind, body and soul

I am willing to give him a reason to rush home from work at the end of the day

I am willing to give him more than just my time

I am willing to be that dedicated wife

I am willing to cook, wash, clean and stand on my own two feet showing him that I am more than just a woman of strength but of responsibilities

I am willing to give my all for his happiness and let him rest assure that I will not go away

Things I like…

I like the long romantic walks with the person who holds my heart in his hands

I like the cuddling up in bed watching movies or even just the silence in the night staring each other in the eyes

I like the candle light dinners at home with a glass of wine as we sit down and reflect on the past and where we are today

I like to share my dreams, wants, hopes and desires with the person I am deeply in love with

I like to listen and give advice

I like to speak what it is that is on my mind at the moment before it builds up and I let out steam

I like to confide in people who have experience so I won’t make the same mistakes twice

I like to be treated with love and respect

I like when the person I am with will do anything just to make me smile at my toughest times

I like the positive, sophisticated, open minded, outgoing, respectful, honest person

I don’t care…

I don’t care what she was or is I know that I am far better than that in many ways

I don’t care if my ex treated me worse than the dirt on the floor as long as you don’t do the same

 I don’t care if the world is against us because together we will stand firm no matter what

I don’t care what people think of me because my past is what makes me stronger and a better person today

I don’t care if there isn’t a tomorrow for I will live only for today

I don’t care if the world stops and hell freezes over I know that the love I have for you will live on

I don’t care where or who you may be with if not me for years to come as long as the happiness fills your heart and on your face appears a smile of grace

I don’t care if I am sad for a lifetime as long as you are happy inside

I don’t care who looked down on you because of your past mistakes all I know and believe in my heart is that you are a far more better person than you was

I don’t care if “she” walks back in your life as long as you do what you believe is right

I don’t care if “she” fights me every time I see her I will stand my ground in being a strong believer that it was her lost and my gain

I don’t care if tomorrow fills me with pain for being with you is a challenge I am willing to take

I don’t care what may fall before me as long as I continue to have your support to help me cross over that path

When certain bridges are before me I will cross it knowing you are at the other end waiting on me

Life to me…

Life to me now has a purpose of living since the moment you have walked into it

Life is no longer just a day that passes by

Living in a brutal world where the animals have more control than humans

I have noticed that you took the time to listen, give advice and even shared a few of your pains and joys

There’s so much more that you mean to me and not enough words to describe

So

For a moment I will hope that this scribe has touched your heart in more ways than one and has

Opened your eyes to what it is that I really feel inside

Dedicated to you with my whole heart filled only with love

My Tiger you are so special to me and I want you to know that no matter the trials we may face the love that I have for you will continue to grow unless you asked me to walk away then my only option is loving you from a distance.

The one and only Darshini Devi Ramsaran

Oh Mother In Law 

Letter to my boyfriend mother
My dearest mother in law

On Mothers Day 

Every one wished me a Happy Mothers Day 

And I thought of you

How much you have done to hurt me 
I’ve shed one too many tears

In hopes of one day holding my very own child dear to my heart 

But you 

You have snatched that joy inside of me 

Before I can give my child the opportunity to see the world with its own naked eyes

You have destroyed my peace

You took my smiles and turned them into frowns 

You made me sad 
When you came here I treated you as a Queen

Attended to your needs with whatever you desired 

Gave our bed for you to rest on

Allowed you to take full control over my home

And now 

Today of all days 

I have regrets 

It is because of you 
I hope when you’re reading this letter your heart doesn’t burn 

Your body doesn’t freeze

You soul doesn’t ache 

But if it does 

Then so be it 

I just pray you know how to deal with it if and when that time comes
You have birthed your son

Today he is a part of my life

I asked humbly for your blessings as he did too

Today he is willing to forgive you 

When I have forgiven you years ago
Not once have I destroyed you with words 

But the names you have called me is words I’ve never even heard
You were like a mother to me in my eyes

And in yours I was a disgrace to become your sons wife

I would have protected you the best I could 

Given you my home and let you live

Worked my bones to its very end 

And pray that God keeps you safe from anything 
As a child I was taught to respect those who are eldest 

I was told to be humble no matter how much and how hard it gets

I did my very best 

Today of all days I held close to my heart 

The regrets of being so humble 

Because of you 

My universe is of nonexistent 

Because of you I gave up on love 

Because of you I have pains today 

And now because of you 

Your very own son has stayed away from you 
Not once have I made him choose 

He knew in his heart you have done nothing for us than abuse me with hurtful words 

He knew you sent people to have me beaten up 

He knew our lives was at peace until you came here and destroyed it
What mother leaves her son all alone In a different yet difficult world because of her own selfishness? 

What mother snatches a child from another woman’s womb? 

What mother wishes her children bad? 

I can’t seem to understand why do you think you have it all figured out 

When even that same son aches for the love from his mother 

How do I stomach the pain that you have taken away from me 

When you yourself is in pain because your son has denied you today? 
I wonder now 

How do you feel to destroy me and in the process you destroyed yourself? 
I’ve done great deeds more than you can imagine

I’ve sheltered those who had no home

I’ve cared for those who had no one

I’ve loved for those who has been abandoned 

I’ve been a mother, a friend, a sister and a loyal woman to your son 

I’ve respected you when you degraded me

I’ve loved and cared for your son 

I’ve done the best I could
Today  

I’ve done enough

I pray that today 

My last words to you shall embed itself into your soul making you restless forever until you crawl on your knees and beg for my forgiveness 
The next time you dare to step in my path

Thunder will roll

Lightning will strike you 

For I am more loved than you can ever imagine

I am a child of God

Who deserve to be happy

Who deserves to be respected 

Who deserves love like everyone else in this world

God is my witness 

I have not once disrespected you 

I’ve had 

Many opportunities to send you to jail

But I kept shut

Today I will no longer be a victim to you or anyone

I’m stronger and more powerful 

Because God has mended my broken heart

My child is with the angels rejoicing 

That he or she is proud to once be a part of me
The next time you dare attack me with your words or your physical being

I hope 

For every thing you have done to me

I pray it comes back to you twice or ten times more

Seven years is long enough

Now I am putting my foot down 

I pray that God be with you through those times 

And I pray you accept him and he 

shines some light into your dark heart!

Because if you don’t

Then you haven’t yet felt real PAIN 
I WILL REMAIN HUMBLE KNOWING MY GOD HAS MY FEET GUIDING ME THROUGH TRIALS AFTER TRIALS LIGHTING UP MY PATH 

With his blessings 

As his child I gain each day the knowledge of those who are arrogant and of those who are ignorant 
By; Devi Ramsaran 2017 

Battle Scars 

Battle scars are horrible memories with beautiful Journeys ahead

Walls closing in 

You see the light fading.

Water swallows you as you swallowed her.

You die slowly.

You rot for eternity.

Breathing heavy you die and die and die.

You lose yourself. You lose and cry.

Fading away. Walls all around you.

You die and die and die.

Darkness consumes you.

Soulmates

repost)  

Two minds shared in equal balance.

Two hearts yielding love.

Two lives lived in different ways.

Two souls entwined as one.

There’s no mistake when you find this mate,

You’ll know it from the start,

The feeling is an awesome one,

The best one in your heart. 

Adore Me 


As we gaze into each others eyes
We feel the mystical energy
A powerful beam of light
Penetrates ever so radiantly
Vibrates deep into our hearts
Sending electrical charges
Beckoning our love for each other
Each silhouetted face glows 
Refracting brilliant charges
That is mutually exclusive
And expressed in a satin heaven
As we reach the plateau
Of our love, we bond in a cocoon 
Hearts beating as one, lub dub
Happiness shows for our love 
We pledge to respect always
Cherish and romance as well
And always to share kind words
In every waking moment of ours
With each breath we take
And at the crossroads we encounter
We stay true to our path
Together we breathe and walk 

I wonder too…

I wonder how you’d feel if walking my shoes right now.Would you be in pain, showing it through your face? 

Or would you smile and just endure it 

Like nothing happened in the first place?

I wonder if I paid you no attention 

Would you pretend that you’re okay 

Or would you lash out like a child taken to a candy store and couldn’t even get one thing?

Sometimes I wonder
I wonder if you dare

To creep your feet into my shoes

Putting no emotions on a table 

Because you’re that bold and able 
I wonder if Jesus came to earth 

What is the first thing that you would do? 

Would you prepare a feast and clean the house or would you stand at that door with water to wash his feet?
I wonder if you’ve ever cried yourself to sleep or do you smile knowing because of you someone else’s is crying under their sheets? 
I wonder if you’re gonna weep the same way I’ve once weep or would you laugh in slyness for being proud of being a creep? 

It’s amazing how life takes sudden twists and turnsWhen family becomes enemies and friends become foes

I wonder when one dies what becomes afterwards to their soul

Does anyone wonder too? 

Love Knocks 3 x 

 
‘I …….L O V E…….Y O U’
As you knocked on the keyboard

3 simple words with not much thought

Your desire across the board

My love you constantly sought
In the web of love, I was caught

By a total stranger with a magical rod

Mesmerised in delusion, put me in a spot

Hopes a float, what I might and what I ought
Is this just a fantasy or simply a plot

A fiction of my imagination, luck of a slingshot

Targetted my heart, hit me on the spot

Strucked my wounded soul with a lightning bolt
Black words typed on white screen board

Loves declaration upon parchment canvas distort

Endless pursue, throngs of words you fought

Capturing my love with hopes I would never abort

Everlasting Love Story 

The heavens call out to us with truth of love everlastingPromises never made, yet kept within the deep

The depths of our souls unite in the midnight

As we melt in a world that has not joined our names

Washed upon the shore with the waves of regret

We wish and we hope for a union

A union we pray…

For a day, a night when the stars might shine upon our story

As in each other’s arms we are safe and at home

At home, listen to my heart

For it is my heart that beats your name

It beats your name loud in the winds that call you home

Home is where the heart resides and you reside within me

And neath the diamonds sparkling, we laugh, we cry, and we believe

In love, a love that shares in our legend of passionate streams

Where hand in hand we walk with new hearts

Hearts that have forgotten they were ever broken

Broken no more for together they have found peace and comfort in the everlasting truth that our souls knew all along

Cruel Love 

Cruel love
Alas, cruel love, away with you! 

Attempts at you are but in vain! 

You tempt and mock at ev’ry turn 

And always leave my heart in pain. 
My thoughts of you must not be real, 

A fantasy to ne’er be found. 

If this be true, then set me free 

That my deep sorrows may be drowned. 
Away with your false promises 

Of undying, deep devotion 

And forever love, if such exists, 

I’m done with this emotion! 
For there’s no hope for such a fool 

Whose pleas remain unrequited 

For life has left my broken heart 

Scarred and forever blighted. 

Cruel Love 

Cruel love
Alas, cruel love, away with you! 

Attempts at you are but in vain! 

You tempt and mock at ev’ry turn 

And always leave my heart in pain. 
My thoughts of you must not be real, 

A fantasy to ne’er be found. 

If this be true, then set me free 

That my deep sorrows may be drowned. 
Away with your false promises 

Of undying, deep devotion 

And forever love, if such exists, 

I’m done with this emotion! 
For there’s no hope for such a fool 

Whose pleas remain unrequited 

For life has left my broken heart 

Scarred and forever blighted. 

Vision of Serenity 

Don’t just listen to the water drops

Listen to the beats

Let it constantly replay like a melody in your mind

Let the rhythm 

Create an illusion in your head 

And find that paradise inside of you

The vision of serenity 

Vision of Serenity 

Don’t just listen to the water drops

Listen to the beats

Let it constantly replay like a melody in your mind

Let the rhythm 

Create an illusion in your head 

And find that paradise inside of you

The vision of serenity 

Mathematics of Love

I’d like to knowWhere we’re going and in 

What direction?

Is Love taking us to our prescribed destination?

What’s your vision?

What’s your mission?

Are you good at 

Long Division, or

Are we Solid Factors

Or Remainders and fractions?
Puzzled?

How do we fit Logically?

Cypher Think Critically with me

Let Love’s Power

Uravel Problems and Solutions

Are we in order with operations,

Or an Unbalanced Equation?
Find the unknown variables

Equally Spiritually balance our

Prime Factorization that’s called

The Proof of Marriageability

Intimate stability or volatility.

  

Look at all the common factors

Reduce negativity

By offering Positivity 

Subtract what distracts

& detracts

Add benevolent benefactors

Creating Numerically Our Matrix

Watch Hell give way to 

The Power of Love Making.
Let Love be in parenthesis

An Equation that changes surroundings

See us exponentially And Scientifically

Put Sexing me in rotation

Until our Life of Love

Becomes Scientific Notation.
Let our Mind’s Physics be Quantum

Let our Ions Chemically be 

Living Love as we perform

“The Good Work”

Ancient Alchemy throughout the Aeon’s.
 Musically move my soul

Mathematically like notes

On a octave

Discover me sexually in Theorem

Let two become One like

H2O liquid water a

Two to One Ratio.
Speak to me Philosophically

Discover me like Plato’s forms

Use your arms to hold and mold 

Rearrange the Universe’s Algorithm

Calculate time, rhythm, and motion

See me with Your 3rd Eye 

like God’s thoughts moving at Light’s Speed

Love is our technology

Together we’re Anomalies.
Place beauty in our Theology

Your Assett’s canvased and framed artwork

Create and build with me

Until Love, Our Love is transformed into Monuments And Holy Temples.
Mystic is our language

While preforming tongue rhythms

Let me hear you summon 

The Choirs of Arch Angels.
While I explore your geometry

Its important I see your

Right Angle, 90°Please

At night your and Obtuse angle

In the morning before work

I hit your acute angles.

With this Formed Love

We become Religion

To, By, and For

One another.


Mathematics of Love

Mathematics of Sex

I’d like to knowWhere we’re going and in

What direction?

Is Love taking us to our prescribed destination?

What’s your vision?

What’s your mission?

Are you good at

Long Division, or

Are we Solid Factors

Or Remainders and fractions?
Puzzled?

How do we fit Logically?

Cypher Think Critically with me

Let Love’s Power

Uravel Problems and Solutions

Are we in order with operations,

Or an Unbalanced Equation?
Find the unknown variables

Equally Spiritually balance our

Prime Factorization that’s called

The Proof of Marriageability

Intimate stability or volatility.

Look at all the common factors

Reduce negativity

By offering Positivity

Subtract what distracts

& detracts

Add benevolent benefactors

Creating Numerically Our Matrix

Watch Hell give way to

The Power of Love Making.
Let Love be in parenthesis

An Equation that changes surroundings

See us exponentially And Scientifically

Put Sexing me in rotation

Until our Life of Love

Becomes Scientific Notation.
Let our Mind’s Physics be Quantum

Let our Ions Chemically be

Living Love as we perform

“The Good Work”

Ancient Alchemy throughout the Aeon’s.
Musically move my soul

Mathematically like notes

On a octave

Discover me sexually in Theorem

Let two become One like

H2O liquid water a

Two to One Ratio.
Speak to me Philosophically

Discover me like Plato’s forms

Use your arms to hold and mold

Rearrange the Universe’s Algorithm

Calculate time, rhythm, and motion

See me with Your 3rd Eye

like God’s thoughts moving at Light’s Speed

Love is our technology

Together we’re Anomalies.
Place beauty in our Theology

Your Assett’s canvased and framed artwork

Create and build with me

Until Love, Our Love is transformed into Monuments And Holy Temples.
Mystic is our language

While preforming tongue rhythms

Let me hear you summon

The Choirs of Arch Angels.
While I explore your geometry

Its important I see your

Right Angle, 90°Please

At night your and Obtuse angle

In the morning before work

I hit your acute angles.

With this Formed Love

We become Religion

To, By, and For

One another.


Mathematics of Love

A vision of reminder 

Just a vision to remind you that you come first at heart and soulEveryone and everything will fit into place when you open up your mind to the world I see 

No matter what pain you may face 

Joy follows afterwards

Like the rain and the puddles 

Comes rainbows and sunshine 
It’s called a world filled of life and beauty

Exotic creatures 

Unexpected situations 

Vivid memories

Fainted tears

Unimaginable pain

Unforgettable love

Strength with hurt

Life with laughs 

Time for work and time for play 

Reason behind death

Blessings of birth 
© 2016 Darshini Devi Ramsaran (All rights reserved)

 

Life journey takes it course 

When life’s journey has taken a new course  

You’re speechless because of the intimacy 

You’re deaf to the words of warning 

You’re blind to see the pain which lies ahead
And now 
You sit wondering 

Quietly to yourself 

How could this be? 
When the love in which was so strong has now become weak
I wonder 

“Is he truly in love with me?”
I shiver with the harsh tone of his voice near me 

I sometimes wonder is he out there cheating on 

me 

I cry my self to sleep many nights 

Afraid of waking up to the room being empty 
Without his love I wobble 

And with his love I shine through even in the darkness of life 
I know not what tomorrow may bring 

But my love 

I promise to remain the same 

For you I wish the world to bow before

I pray an eternity of happiness is all that you should ever endure 

I lift you upon my fantasy pedestal 

Proud that in my heart not only your name is written 

But it is also embedded into my soul 
I love you 

Let your name leave a legacy 

Life is such a growing process 
We live, we learn, we accept, we change, we chance, we give, we demand, we work, we play, we cry, we smile…

But through it all 

Our minds are developing into something stronger 
Life is challenging 

Just take it as it come 

Don’t let fear or rejection, stop you from embracing life 
Get out there and touch the sun if you dare

Reach out and hold the stars if you think it’s possible 

Do you because no one will do for you 

Embrace your life and let your name leave a legacy! 

Where we stand I will never know

Where we stand I will never know
Where we stand I will never know, because your emotions you can never show. 

Today you love me 

Tomorrow you don’t
One moment you care the next you say you won’t 

I can’t seem to understand the fine lines between us anymore 

The simplicity between a conversation 

No longer exist
You turn your back on me in the bed which we share

I know not what I do many nights 

For me to constantly feel as I am walking on egg shells
Afraid I am to speak my mind

Because if you don’t run away for the entire night

You’re lips are on constant rewind
Memories of the past I wish can remain there

Yet you seem to always have a reason to bring it back to me when things seem a bit of uncertainty 
I’ve waited for six long years

For you to always say your parents were right

Then answer me this one simple question

Why is it you still seem to crawl back into the same bed we share at night? 
Where we stand I will never know

I am the last thing on your agenda even a simple promise you can’t afford
I sometimes sit and wonder

Where is it that I am heading 

I live with a man who thinks I am worth absolutely nothing

Faded Petals 

FADED PETALS  

 
Strewn upon the cobbled

path lay dried and faded rose 

petals, where tear drops had 

left their mark, but now were 

invisible in the dark, but they

still left their mark
The dark red roses had

arrived, the day after he had 

said goodbye, and she cried 

and cried but kept them till 

they lost their colour and died

 

Knowing the ocean wind 

would soon carry them 

away, perhaps then she

could start again in some 

way, but how could she 

without the one she 

had depended upon as

her friend, soulmate and 

had loved so deep.

 

This mountain she now 

faced was cold and steep.

One rose petal she crushed

and placed into a locket

he had given to her as 

a gift, and she would wear

it always, he would be 

with her on this climb and

when she needed help, he

would give her a lift.

After you’re gone…

After You’re Gone  

A midst the quiet of the evening,

I still sense you are near.

The memories flood my consciousness

As I wipe away my tears.

I long to hold you close, 

to feel the warmth of your skin.

But my mind tells my heart,

I’ll not see you again.

Faded pictures, greeting cards, 

and songs on the radio,

are all that remain

of the love we once knew.

Your ways, though quiet,

were oh so strong 

that I think you are here

even after you’re gone.

Loves Holding

LOVE’S HOLDING.
Is love, in aberration confusing

That it steals from a mind’s daily routine

And is more to blind emotion’s choosing

So only what colours the heart is seen

How might a mind full in love concentrate

On daily functions, deliberations

And how would a heart, so held, operate

Its passion losing mind’s information

Sooner would I a mind to conjecture

That all thought is constructive in effect

Yet, to love’s hold, is my mind in stricture

And I am lost to all clear thought’s select

Should I think on love with an affection

Then is love not to a heart’s connection

~ Love Intrigues Me ~
I celebrate the emotions of this life,

feel the prelude of passion and its sensation …

It holds my fragile being in total submission,

but the hunger for love … intrigues me

Calm after the storm 

Storms of life come, storms of life dissipate.Thunder sounds loud, lightning will equate.

Outburst in some relations, anger will annihilate.

Remove yourself from this situation.

Move to a more understanding relation..

Storms do not last in a loving relation.

Deadly Attraction 

Deadly Attraction  

I remember you loving me like you never did before

Before that dreaded moment of you walking through that door

Door to my heart I opened and the walls you penetrated

Penetrated by what I thought to be love, only to be degraded

Degraded to the lowest of lows, taken from the highest of highs

Highs accompanied by mundane mornings and never-ending numbing nights

Nights and days passed, were gone forever, ones that made me superior

Superior to those who were not in love, those who are inferior

Inferior to the feelings I had and still have for you

You, the love of my life, the one I see in my future too

Too soon, it was for me to fall in love so quick

Quick to say the three words and then it was time to quit

Quit fooling myself, quit thinking about these deadly feelings

Feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness to my heart they cling

Cling triumphantly, tugging and squeezing, leaving me so very lonely

Lonely with my miserable thoughts, exposing my vulnerability

Vulnerability because you were with me but your mind was not there

There you were in your mind, body and soul, but I wanted you here

Here, I was trying to believe just how much you love me

Me, the one you pursued and told people we were meant to be

Be my best friend, my passionate lover and my dutiful wife

Wife of mine, the one who I have decided should share my life

Life so promising in those wonderful words uttered from your lips

Lips of temptation and words of deceit issued from movie scripts

Scripts through which you seemingly poured out your heart and soul

Soul of innocence and truth replaced by a dark, empty and gaping hole

Hole so enormously fed by lust, greed and insecurities

Insecurities which fed on the love I once thought was to be

Be my knight, save me from myself and save me from you 

You, who despite warnings from friends, may need saving too

Too long we have pretended to be the perfect couple

Couple of idiots, now we have to sift through this rubble

Rubble that resulted from the crumbling walls of our love

Love with a flame that burned brightly as a message from above

Above all others, fighting against all odds, it turned quickly into murderous hate

Hate for me, growing hate for you, is the masterpiece I intend to create

Create a canvas just for you, with loads of malice and serious contempt

Contempt that will continues to build towards suicidal attempts

Attempts fueled by murderous intentions only awaiting the plan

Plan of your death and mine which must be an event so grand

Grand affair that must be done with due care and attention

So perfectly, artistically mastered that definitely must be mentioned

Mentioned daily, monthly and yearly in the local news

News of the kill of a lifetime that should be awarded 5-star reviews

Reviews of its gruesome, gory, grief-inducing details

Details will be told of these crazy, cryptic, critical tales 

Tales that would make blood drip instead of sweat from your brow

Brow-beating tale, how it ends? No one but God knows and understands how

Transitioning 

Transitioning 
I know what you’re going through

I know because I’ve been there too
I know what it feels like to lay in a bed only to turn in the middle of the night realizing that the reason you awoke 

It is because of the tears which rolled out of your eyes

Against your cheeks 

And down to your chin

Hitting you right on the chest 

Awakening

Feeling so drenched 
Drenched in pain 

Which no one knows

Yet humble you remain

Falling back to sleep

Dreaming of that nightmare all over again
The sounds of the CO’s 

Banging on your door

It’s time for them to enter And play their roll 

Shaking the unit down 

As we are stripped and search
Stripped from your dignity and pride

No one treats us as humans 

For our stories are never really heard

Because you see 

The system is there to commit you to jail

Guilty until proven innocent is their main aim
Aiming to reach the stars

I wished so many nights

I kept telling myself that everything will be alright 
I will remain a tamed lion for a few more years until the jury and judge awaits to hear my pain as the trial I await seems longer than the usual time frame 
Framed of a crime I’ve never committed 

I sit in silence as I begin to listen

There were so many more 

Just like me

Striving for another opportunity 
Opportunity to do things right and show the judge that I am not that monster who he said I am, refraining from those who were the reason I’ve just become another statistic to the system 
A system in which people truly know nothing of

Unless of course they’ve been inside just like us. 
Us women you see 

Have been granted such a miraculous opportunity 

Some may feel deprived of society 

Others may feel unworthy 

Some bitter

Some free
Free spiritually 

That I am 

I had no choice 

It was the only book I was allowed to read

I found inner strength 

To conquer through the battles and the grief 

To motivate and accept what has been written will be

I’ve learned to love me 

Finding inner peace with my heart for allowing others to control what I gave with ease

I found beauty inside those walls

The sounds of the metal doors clinging as the CO’s scream out for me by my last name

Sometimes I am a number which forever remains

Like a social security card 

Where it follows you for life

I found joy to hear my name being called 

I brought 

Myself to stronger courage 

Releasing my pain 

While transitioning into something greater 

For us all 

By Devi Ramsaran 

Love confusion 

      As time permits and pleasure demands I sit at my most tranquil moment to type these few lines letting you know that I love you.

 

We were born by ourselves…We will Die by ourselves…But as we Live…being alone without a companion is not in Gods design…Isolation can be good for a time…But it also a form of cruel punishment…Reach out and hug someone close to you…Tell Them you love them…

For as often as I can I will continue to say that I love you…

If a strong emotion suddenly lights all the candles we carry inside ourselves, 

It creates an explosion or brightness that shines far beyond our normal vision and then a splendid tunnel appears,

That shows us the way that we forget when we were born and calls us, 

To recover our lost divine origin…

The soul longs to return to the place it came from, 

… Leaving the body lifeless…

And ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation 

that you are my oxygen that ignites this fire within me…

I hope that this never be you but always be me and one day our love will blossom and together we will be on the same page.

Unconditional love, hard to find as equality among races

My love, everlasting, forever, understanding and compromising

His love, sudden as a light but strong as the darkness 

But as sudden as it can be turned on, sudden it can turn off. 

Keeping love, strategy is the key 

… My love, is powerful no matter what, devours the obstacles rain or shine

His love, quickly distracted by newness and temptation of the unknown 

Our Love, our mutual agreement 

My love says BE MINE FOREVER, don’t change inside 

His love says WHILE YOU’RE MINE, don’t change outside

When time fools you into a false sense of security

My love says, we have history baby, dedication and commitment

His love says, I don’t feel the same anymore, we don’t have passion

But passion lost was interest lost only to further distance….

Let’s try again? We deserve a second chance

My love, excited, refreshed, hopeful; better to try and fail than fail to try

His love, unable to put the best foot forward, can’t wait till the motions are over

Unconditional love, hard to find as equality among races.

My love and his love stuck on the same chapter but never on the same page…

What is Love? 

What is Love ?  
Love is when two souls connect as one 

When two heartbeats with the same rhythm 

Love is as pure as the natural sunlight 

Emanating through the pupils of our eyes

Love is 

To conquer the universe with your impressive mind 

Love is to reveal the hidden treasures of yesterday bringing fourth life to today

And the expectancy of tomorrow 

Love is when your soul is in search of the other half when your significant other is not around

Love is connecting through 

Hearts, soul, & touch 
Love is better felt than perceived 

By Devi Ramsaran

Rain & Roses

Rain & Roses
Petals tremble in soft misty hues

and the rain falls like tears on the roses 

once blooming

in every line 

of every sweet love poem

that chased my dreams and flowed from my pen

now etched upon my heart

…still missing you

and lingering

like tears on the roses

By Devi Ramsaran

Ecstasy

Ecstasy  

Your breath became a sweetness,

through every moment a breeze of ecstasy.
Wafting across my cheek, anointing anxious lips,

excruciatingly long moments waltzing in three-quarter time,

your arms seemed eons away, mine unable to reach you

across a blue-haze horizon and yet that breath,

that wondrous delight hinting of sweet clover

and fields of lavender remains forever, 

embedded in my memory.


By Devi Ramsaran

BulletProof Heart

BULLET PROOF 

Every word you ever said,

was like a bullet to the head,

all thats left, is pain and stress,

I wish you nothing but the best,

you turned your back and walked away,

no matter what I tried to say,

I am not here just for your use,

my heart wont break, its bullet proof,

you turn around, and change your name,

try so hard to drown the pain,

nothing lost is nothing gained,

so tired of giving, I feel so drained.

so consumed by my infernal rage,

loving you was like a plague. 

By Devi Ramsaran
© 2010 Devi Ramsaran (All rights reserved)

My Heartbeat

My Heartbeat

You are fading slowly
Into a place of non existent 
I’ve been waiting for this day to finally say 
I’ve accepted the facts and from this day forward
I will respect your decision

The restless nights you’ve given to me 
The endless tears which flows
I know that growing in this pain will only take me into a different world

A world of danger and hate
Where lying is just a “thing!”
Where flowers bloom without the use of water 
Rather it survives on chemicals created by the hands of a man
A world where confusion and resentment devours your soul 
Where bitterness and anger takes control

So I would rather be free 
Allowing you make all those decisions for me

I’m tired and frustrated 
I can’t seem to please anyone
It’s a battlefield in my mind
No one will ever know 

I speak out in anger 
I speak out in fear
But not once did I mean those hurtful words I say
Although this may hurt me in the end
Sleep I will finally know 

Us women 

To us beautiful women Cheers 
We carry weight on our shoulder 

Inside our wombs 

On our hearts 

And still we don’t know where the strength comes from 

But it does

It is because God has made women to populate the universe 

With their love, their care, their knowledge 

And the best of all 

Children

We are all the same women carrying similar struggles and walking different paths 

Yet we all have some things in common 

And that is something which intrigued us or pained us 

We all have something to say

So let’s free our minds 

Uplift our hearts and dedicate our energy into turning those bad into good

Venting 

Let it out

In ways that words can hurt ones soul
Breathe 

As if it was the last breath you were able to take

Let God flow through you and into those words 

Which helps us over come whatever it is of hurt

And then spread the sunshine and bring out the rainbows with a little love and laughter 
Because after every storm 

Comes the calm 

The beauty of life and the colors of the world

Talking to the walls 

Today I am your everything Tomorrow I am your whore

Few days later 

We’re arguing over a story about me in which you over heard

I wonder who am I to you that you 

You seem so very distant 

One minute I am right 

The next I am the blame

I’m tired of the constant abuse of being called names

If being with me is so bad

Then why constantly be here making me sad

Why not leave 

Turn your back and walk away 

I’m afraid now if you do stay 

Sometimes I wonder where I would have been today if I choose to never be with you 

I’m not complaining, I’m just hurt 

It’s a constant battle in my mind

What is it that I am worth ? 

We know not of what tomorrow may bring 

For today I need to know where is it that I stand? 

Am I your lady or just someone who pleasures your burning desires? 

Am I your Queen before any other? 

Am I lacking beauty within or is it the condition of my skin? 

Am I trash or dirt in the ground? 

Am I worthy of a crown? 

I know nothing because you don’t seem to speak 

And when you do 

It’s never good things to me 

You complain how much I am such a horrible woman

Yet 

I still work, wash, cook and clean. 

I wonder where you will ever find another 

6 long years 

And still I can’t become your wife 

No proposal 

Not even a conversation 

About one day of being your bride 

No romantic dinners 

No casual talks

It’s only constant problems which we discuss 

I’m tired too 

But I try my best to listen 

To speak

To reason a situation 

And understand on your part

Well I myself am tired 

And need someone who can understand too

Someone who once listened to me

Cared for me

Loved me immensely 

And treated me with respect 

That someone was you

Now I’m all alone

I’m tired too 

Walking away will be a better option

Because speaking to the walls is my conclusion 


By Darshini Devi Ramsaran  
© 2017 Darshini Devi Ramsaran (All rights reserved)

A Woman Struggles

 A Woman Struggles…
I cook, I wash, I clean 

As I am a wife 

I make love as a woman, not a child

I play with children as if I’ve had some of my very own 

I work like man, doing things many women shouldn’t 

I’m not lazy 

I enjoy intellectual conversations 

I rather be home playing with makeup, cleaning my house, watching movies, or staying in the kitchen all day

I enjoy life for whatever curve ball it throws my way

I am not perfect 

I have flaws too 

I know there are times I feel the beauty in someone and I know when I don’t 

I feel just like you do 

I hurt the same

I say things to defame your name

Because I’m angry at the things you say

I don’t want to fuss over words 

However you give me no choice 

I cry the same salty tears when I am broken in two 

I wish you’d understand how much I care and 

How much I love you 

with 

every cell in my body
Your words have destroyed me 

Consuming my soul with regrets

And hate

You’ve pushed me far 

Beyond your imagination 

And yet you continue to test my emotions 
I guess some things are blinded by the eyes of those who can’t seem to see past their nose

They push those who love deeply into a place of non existence 

Hurting those who care for them 

Because of their own demons inside of them 
And when reality hits them in the face
A great woman as myself 

Would have walked away

Knowing her worth 
With her head held high 

Her shoulders straight 

Her face with a smile

And a heart that’s willing to challenge any dare at any pace 
She will soar above the highest mountains 

Loving stronger than ever before 
And slowly I am beginning to realize my very own worth 


A woman’s struggles 

By Darshini Devi Ramsaran 04/02
© 2017 Darshini Devi Ramsaran (All rights reserved)

Beautiful Monster 

Ooh beautiful monster I smile as your eyes pierce through my soul 

I embrace your grasp for they know not of what I’ve ever felt before 

Devour into my sweet soul as I smile into slumber 

Rather than in tears 

Weak and brittle 

Through a dark cold grave 

Beautiful monster you put no more fear in me 

As I’ve conquered in my mind 

My own destiny 

Behind closed walls 

I allowed you to manipulate my emotions 

Letting you get the best of me

Beautiful monster 

Please for once do not be naive 

If you allow me to awake 

Please remember the sunrise brings in a new day 

And your soul will eventually fade away

Unable to attack 

So devour into my sweet soul as you wish while I drift into 

Emotion less 

Where I don’t care what tomorrow brings 

Wether I’m here or there. 

The wings of strength will continue to grow

Detaching my soul from yours 
Unfortunately for you 

It is now sunrise 

And I sit Still 

while the birds chirp 

Through my bedroom window 

I’ve survived 

The brutal nightmare 
It was all just a dream 
My beautiful monster 

I wish you were here to see how long it has taken me to over come my fears

To let go of my past

And light my own path 

I wish you knew how hard the journey was 

The battle fields which I’ve walked

I wish you knew things that can change that heart of yours

And see that one can change for the better part
But this is only a wish 

Some comes true 

And some just fades with time

I love you beautiful monster 

But you’ve ruled my soul enough 

I yearn now to escape forever from your hands which hurt
And still I manage to smile through it all

Faded monster 

Change ur ways

Or be a part of the past forever 

And remain where you belong 
Through the darkest of tunnels 

The shallowest of graves

I pray you find comfort 

Of knowing I am not the disgrace 

It was you who has turned 

And now it’s my time to run home 
Sunrise saved the day 😉

I am me 

  

I am meLove me 

Hate me 

Accept me

Deny me

I don’t care
 I refuse to change the woman I am to please another because that would just mean 

I wouldn’t be REAL
If you asked me 

I will tell you no lie
If you hurt me 

I will shed a few tears 

Blow some steam out

But eventually 

I get over it 
If you come at me with the constant bullshit 

Then trust

I will crush it 
If you got to know me

And end up betraying me

I will take revenge 
And in the end just know that a friend like me 

Was one of a kind

That would sacrifice my life to save yours 
So trust 

Is something so real and deep that if it’s lost 

There’s nothing that would ever bring that back

No matter years of trying to prove

That of your worth

No matter how sincere you may be this time around

I will always look at you that 1% less 

because 

at one point betrayed is what happened to me 

So yes I sleep with one eye opened 

And it’s because of the bullshit I’ve been through once before
No one knows how far I’ve come

The things I’ve done

The places I’ve been

The things I’ve seen

The situations I’ve ended up in

The pain I’ve caused

The hearts I’ve helped

The spirits I’ve lifted

The shit I do to help others through

The hustle I find

The every day grind 

The memories I make

The mistakes I’ve made 
So when I say this

Please don’t take it the wrong way
But please I beg

Don’t fuck with my emotions 

And I won’t fuck with yours

DONT TALK SHIT

IF YOU HAVENT WALKED MY SHOES

DONT JUDGE ME 

BECAUSE I WOULD NEVER JUDGE YOU!!!
I have flaws and so do you

I’m not perfect in your eyes

But trust there’s at least one person I know that sees no flaws in me no matter what I am or what I do and that’s the almighty 

Lord 
No one knows how much I’ve cried

How hard it was for me to watch someone die 

No one understands how much I hurt

But yet 

I smile 

So before you say YOU KNOW ME

THINK TWICE 

DO YOU REALLY???  

I am me 
© 2015 Devi Ramsaran (All rights reserved)

I guess I am that blank page

 

 I guess I am that blank page 

I guess I am that blank page

Skipped past me ever so quickly 

The grasp of uncertainty 

The wind blew it drastically 

Turned over 

And laid face down


I am that blank page

And the reason of his frown


I wonder to myself

Where or why 

And was I all along in that creative denial 


I am that blank page

Clustered between the others

Fighting for air 

Yet 

Thrown to side just like the others

I guess I am that blank page


Rejected so many times

It’s became immune to my system

And the out burst of feverish chills down my spine

No longer made me quiver 

But I thought to myself again

I am that blank page


No ink would bother to stay

As each letter that has been written 

magically disappears


I am that blank page 

He turned over 

With no cares of my feelings upon 

His broad 

strong shoulders


I guess I am 

That blank page


Who curls at the end

In hopes of the human iris to be in search 

Standing out and pleading 

For attention that is 


Yet 


I still remain 

Upon the beginning of first to very last chapter 

That blank page 


Fragile heart torn 

Blank pages 

Scorn 


I guess I am that blank page 

No one 

ever thought of 






November 14,2015


I guess I am that Blank Page 

© 2015 Devi Ramsaran (All rights reserved)




Relationships 

To those relationships that are in a struggle Please do listen 

And take into consideration 

Sometimes the simple things can be painful 

But to listen of its reasons as to why things occur 

Disagreement doesn’t mean he/she 

Doesn’t love you 

It means the growth 

Of life 

A process 

And a life filled with happiness and sad
In order to love 

We must all know what hate is

To know happy 

We must know sad

To know rain 

We will one day experience the sunshine 
As life 

We must know what is death 
The cycle of life and love 

Accept it and choose to is two different things 
We choose to love 

Or hate 

 

Inside my mind 

I wish that God can show you my heart and allow you to feel every beat of it 
So you can see
And feel
The love I hold so deep 
For you to have a clear understanding as to why marriage is so pure in my eyes 
And that every beat of my heart is because of you
Even when we fight 
But not everyone has a poetic mind 
As I do 
Not everyone sees through eyes of love 
Not everyone understands how to care 
But
I do 
And 
I will continue to love and care for u beyond your imagination 
And pray that one day you change your mind and kneel in front of me 
With hands held out high 
Proposing to love me till eternity 
Causing me to shiver 
And 
As my smile lights up the sky and my eyes shine through the darkest of night 
With my heart skipping beats 
Like a child jumping through puddles in the streets 
The passion inside 
Ignites 
My soul turns over 
Like the lashing loud sounds of thunder 
And the sun bursting through the clouded sky 
A feeling of complete satisfaction 
And 
Finally my answer 
Yes 
I’m willing to be your wonderful wife 
Through the storms and the calm 
For now I exist as is 
While 
my mind creates 
It’s own illusions 
Imagine 
© 2015 Devi Ramsaran (All rights reserved)
   

 

Lies after lies 

Lies after lies 
I hate
Wishing so badly I was her 
Then marriage in your eyes wouldn’t be a mistake
Lies after lies 
I live 
Pretending that you would propose one day 
Having hope in my heart no matter what you say 
Lies after lies 
I tell myself 
That maybe just maybe 
You would see from the angle where my mind stands 
And love with marriage isn’t just a pen in hand and a paper on a table 
Lies after lies
I tell myself that it could have been me instead of her
Had I only just
say the word
But in denial I lived 
That I could have not met your standards
Yet on a mental note 
Had I go with my heart 
Then life for us would be magical 
Never parting 
Lies after lies 
I imagine us holding hands as you vow to honor and protect 
Love and respect 
Guide and care 
For me 
Until the end of time 
Lies after lies 
And then the feeling just dissipates 
© 2015 Devi Ramsaran (All rights reserved)

   

 

This woman 

A business woman with lots of potential and 

sophistication

A mother who nourishes her children with love 

A wife of loyalty 

A sister to any and 

A best friend to many 

  

Marian Martins 

Written by: Devi Ramsaran

Don’t tell me you love me 


  

Don’t tell me you love me if you’re not sincere 

For a lie so strong can bring on a new fear 

Fear to love 

Fear to be loved

Fear to ever love again 

It can cause my fragile heart to tear, break or bend 

So when I put all of my trust deep within you 

Please don’t tell me

You love me 

Unless you truly do 💔

My heart has no Fear 

   

 LOVE’S HOLDING.


Is love, in aberration confusing
That it steals from a mind’s daily routine
And is more to blind emotion’s choosing
So only what colours the heart is seen
How might a mind full in love concentrate
On daily functions, deliberations
And how would a heart, so held, operate
Its passion losing mind’s information
Sooner would I a mind to conjecture
That all thought is constructive in effect
Yet, to love’s hold, is my mind in stricture
And I am lost to all clear thought’s select
Should I think on love with an affection
Then is love not to a heart’s connection

By: Devi 

A Thousand Shadows

  

  

Waves of disruption, a thousand shadows spun another tear ran dry,
Into the chasms of despair as here another piece of my soul again dies,
My sanctuary dwelling here in the in-between in a waterfall of emotion,
Leaving emptiness in its path where these dreams play in slow motion.

For in this realm a grasp into the past, that won’t still my hand nor heart,
As here the shadows consume, forsakes my hopelessness and sets apart,
Leaving me in the core of the past, in thy essence here in a blissful retreat, 
As here pulling together the torn heartstrings between our souls in reprieve.

This wingless ride through the years, slighted whispers bleeding from breath,
Grow more distraught between the muse, keep in the darkness leaving no rest,
Bounty of hopelessness enters the fold as the dreams escape through windows,
These shadows my emerald storms, for without them I stay in a state of limbo

By  Devi Ramsaran 

© 2015 Devi Ramsaran  (All rights reserved)


Loves flame 


   

 

  


Love, with passion set aflame
Burning deep from inside
Though the eyes of your love 
Let a flaming fire start
With a penetrating touch upon the flesh
Feel the steamy, sizzling kisses upon your neck
As passion consumes this moment 
In time…
To leave lingering memories 
In grasp of gasping breathes…
And mesmerizing scents of love
Sparked by a kiss, upon your lips
And the depth I seen in your eyes…
A moment in time,
My breath whisked away
Left breathless, my heart pounding
Entwined forever in my mind…
Your love turned passions ablaze
Deep inside my very being
Your touch etched upon my flesh
Burning desires 
And you walked away
Peering back at me
With a smile
As I lay upon the floor
With pleading eyes
Bathed in your love…
Conquered…
By burning desires
~*~

By  Devi Ramsaran 

© 2015 Devi Ramsaran  (All rights reserved)



Entangled ❤️ strings 

  

Entangled ❤️ Strings

Drifting Dream through time and space.
Distance keeps us apart, out of place. 
~~~ Yet ~~~
My web is spun with lovers twine.
~~~ Pulling ~~~
Reminding that you are mine.
~~~ Distance ~~~
Valley, mountains, roaring sea
Clouds of the night
~~~ Float ~~~
Between us in a starlit night.
~~~ Visions ~~~
Of us I send into your
Midnight Dream.
~~~ While ~~~
I wish upon the stars vividly seen.
Knowing you would never forget me.
~~~ Peaceful ~~~
I retreat into slumber.
No sound of thunder. 
~~~Content ~~~
My Lovers Twine
Shall keep you
~~~ Mine ~~~


pain and its facts behind it shows we have emotions and that’s something to still be grateful for 

Chin up and know you are blessed to understand the meaning of pain 

It shows your heart is as pure as the rain falling from the sky 

untouched not knowing of touch until it hits the ground 

In other words 

It’s ok to be down and sad 

It shows that we still have life 

Because we are able to have emotions 

Many aren’t so blessed 

No matter the pain 

Remember what ever you’re going through is to strengthen you 

Praying you over come this pain with a head held high 

And clasped hands to the almighty 

🙏

Optical illusions

image
Optical illusion

See me here,
I live a life as all do
In here an insect of life’s intuition
The threads of my eyes slowly release
I fall deep into dreams
The inner state of less confusion
From the outer state of resistance
Dwelling in the simplicity of logic
Yet poisoned by human existence
And the double vision of the conscious mind

I’d rather be a gust of wind
Moving things before me
Not having features
But become what is carried
Not having a voice
But echo what has passed
Not feeling pain
But able to give sensation

In motionless time my life evolves
I’m bound to a simple destiny
I cannot yet define in words
The threads of my face tighten
And reveal no tale
But that of which in reality is sleep
No expression can manifest the words
In my lifetime I wish to write
And no words can explain my expression

For when the soul is released
The solution can’t be resisted
But at this time all is unexplained
For I have not yet existed

© 2000 Devi Ramsaran (All rights reserved)