I remembered

Taking trips down memory lane

As I remembered all of the pain

While questioning my God

Although I’ve encountered many beautiful things but more pain than joy

As I sit on the sofa

I began to think

Why is all of this happening?

I do so much good for many others and yet the pain remains

That aching pain buried deep within

Always seems to keep resurfacing

I remembered that day

When my innocence was snatched away

By a complete stranger

As I was forced to repeat the incident over and over as authorities questioned for exact details

I remembered the Cops asking me to please help assist in catching this criminal by describing his features

But my mind goes blank every once in a while

And I zone out into a place where I don’t belong

All alone and afraid

The visions in my head

As I relived that day

Like a melody stuck on repeat

With a horrific beat

I remembered that day when I opened up

And trusted a guy

Told him those secrets which I always wanted to hide

I remembered how he reacted with tears in his eyes

As he hugged me and told me I’ll be alright

I remembered his eyes peering into mine and I felt a sudden comfort to my surprise

I remembered as time went on and things went south that same man began to shout all of that pain out by throwing it in my face

Questioning the woman I am

I began feeling neglected and disowned

Torn down and broken

I remembered that dagger

Hitting hard

Like double edges swords fighting battles no one knows of

I remembered getting the results from my Doctor

Being diagnosed with stage one uterine cancer

Not being able to have a baby of my own

Being told I will have to have a full hysterectomy

As my mind drifted and I began to start

Losing slowly what’s left of my womanhood

And my dignity

I remembered going in for treatments while Doctors yelled at me as if it was my fault which has happened to me

I remembered that day you took my heart and when you threw it back in such an awful way

I remembered it all from beginning to now as if it was yesterday this all occurred

My mind is battling emotions which no one knows about

Optimistic D3Vi