Taking trips down memory lane
As I remembered all of the pain
While questioning my God
Although I’ve encountered many beautiful things but more pain than joy
As I sit on the sofa
I began to think
Why is all of this happening?
I do so much good for many others and yet the pain remains
That aching pain buried deep within
Always seems to keep resurfacing
I remembered that day
When my innocence was snatched away
By a complete stranger
As I was forced to repeat the incident over and over as authorities questioned for exact details
I remembered the Cops asking me to please help assist in catching this criminal by describing his features
But my mind goes blank every once in a while
And I zone out into a place where I don’t belong
All alone and afraid
The visions in my head
As I relived that day
Like a melody stuck on repeat
With a horrific beat
I remembered that day when I opened up
And trusted a guy
Told him those secrets which I always wanted to hide
I remembered how he reacted with tears in his eyes
As he hugged me and told me I’ll be alright
I remembered his eyes peering into mine and I felt a sudden comfort to my surprise
I remembered as time went on and things went south that same man began to shout all of that pain out by throwing it in my face
Questioning the woman I am
I began feeling neglected and disowned
Torn down and broken
I remembered that dagger
Hitting hard
Like double edges swords fighting battles no one knows of
I remembered getting the results from my Doctor
Being diagnosed with stage one uterine cancer
Not being able to have a baby of my own
Being told I will have to have a full hysterectomy
As my mind drifted and I began to start
Losing slowly what’s left of my womanhood
And my dignity
I remembered going in for treatments while Doctors yelled at me as if it was my fault which has happened to me
I remembered that day you took my heart and when you threw it back in such an awful way
I remembered it all from beginning to now as if it was yesterday this all occurred
My mind is battling emotions which no one knows about
Optimistic D3Vi
