Solomon our little King in the make

I held you in my arms at two months old

As you looked up at me with those precious eyes

welled up with tears inside

as it streamed down your face, I cried too and a part of my heart melted at that moment. I vowed to protect you from the hands of the beast

those who left you alone with a bottle in your play pen as if you could have fed yourself at that age

I thought “this is insanity”

I was kicked down a flight of stairs

In my arms as I held you near

I protected you and took that hit

I slid down and tumbled over the last three stairs

Yet I stood by your side and each day you were left alone

I came and took care of you while that beast left you for hours by yourself to work at a bar late at night

I lied to my parents saying I was with my boyfriend then

While he was cheating on me

I was in his home taking care of you

While his mother worked in the bar

I watched over you

Without their knowledge

And then one day

I told your real mother

It wasn’t about a job I wanted or needed

It was about the love and care for you mostly and the joy in which you also brought me

I watched you as you laid peacefully

while I cradled you in my arms and rocked you to sleep

After I have done changed you, shower you, fed you, burped you and sang for you

My life felt complete

I fell in love with your smile and you were like my little child

I loved you more than anything because your laughter brought me joy and that moment of seeing you for the very first time

You also saved my life

With the sounds of your cries

I remember running up the stairs

Leaving the bags at the door because I heard a baby screaming as if someone was suffocating that child

I was at a point where I wanted to give up, and kill myself

But your sounds had stopped me in my tracks

That day what I had intended to do was never accomplished and that is because of you

God showed me a life other than mine who was deprived of real love

I ran to your rescue without any issues

It was my instinct and at that moment I found you

I found hope

A reason to become brand new

My strength was now getting renewed

I believed again

I had hope

I kept the faith and I prayed again

I took you away from that horrible woman Who didn’t care wether you were alive or dead

The woman who saw money before a precious life

I saved you as you saved me

And I watched you grow slowly but surely

I remembered when your grandma and pa

Would visit me in jail

I remembered how you ran to hug me and kiss me

I also remembered that your first steps are because of me

I pushed you through from the moment you held on to my hand

I guided you

Followed you and gladly helped you with your first steps of accomplishment

You walked that day from the television to the sofa as I clapped and cheered you on

Screaming

Go, go, Solomon

You can do it

I taught you to count and sound out words

I showed you things many didn’t take the time to

And today I have felt like a failure indeed

Because those same little footsteps I helped you with

You have turned and raised them on me today

Kicking me several times

Causing me to internally bleed inside

Not just my stomach

But my heart too

You have stomped, torn and diminished everything I ever taught you

with the anger which you held against others

You have kicked them to me,

in, out and through

Solomon I am hurt today

And that is because of you

You made me happy when I was only seventeen

Today I am thirty two and I wish to never ever be in this situation again

I am more hurt and afraid of you than I am angry and bitter

I have shed one too many tears

And although I know you have ADHD

(A chronic condition including attention difficulty, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness)

It doesn’t give you the right to hurt those who loves you dearly

You are taking advantage of your medical condition

Using it as excuses in unfortunate situations

But you know what is wrong from right and your mental state of mind isn’t always the cause

You’re a big boy now

I expected better from you than to constantly hurt others with lies and physical abuse, threats or demands

You know better Solomon

Your condition can be better but everyone says leave you be

Before you act out and create a scene rather than they just discipline you

They feel sorry

But I am not

Because I see potential in you and you can’t see past your nose

You listen to others as they remind you of your disease

You have abused us all with your threats of committing suicide

At twelve years old I can’t understand

why do I have to run and hide knives away from you

Because every mistake you make

you blame everything on your brain

Solomon our little King 👑 in the make

I pray you understand our teachings and change your ways one day

🙏

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.