Solomon our little King in the make

I held you in my arms at two months old

As you looked up at me with those precious eyes

welled up with tears inside

as it streamed down your face, I cried too and a part of my heart melted at that moment. I vowed to protect you from the hands of the beast

those who left you alone with a bottle in your play pen as if you could have fed yourself at that age

I thought “this is insanity”

I was kicked down a flight of stairs

In my arms as I held you near

I protected you and took that hit

I slid down and tumbled over the last three stairs

Yet I stood by your side and each day you were left alone

I came and took care of you while that beast left you for hours by yourself to work at a bar late at night

I lied to my parents saying I was with my boyfriend then

While he was cheating on me

I was in his home taking care of you

While his mother worked in the bar

I watched over you

Without their knowledge

And then one day

I told your real mother

It wasn’t about a job I wanted or needed

It was about the love and care for you mostly and the joy in which you also brought me

I watched you as you laid peacefully

while I cradled you in my arms and rocked you to sleep

After I have done changed you, shower you, fed you, burped you and sang for you

My life felt complete

I fell in love with your smile and you were like my little child

I loved you more than anything because your laughter brought me joy and that moment of seeing you for the very first time

You also saved my life

With the sounds of your cries

I remember running up the stairs

Leaving the bags at the door because I heard a baby screaming as if someone was suffocating that child

I was at a point where I wanted to give up, and kill myself

But your sounds had stopped me in my tracks

That day what I had intended to do was never accomplished and that is because of you

God showed me a life other than mine who was deprived of real love

I ran to your rescue without any issues

It was my instinct and at that moment I found you

I found hope

A reason to become brand new

My strength was now getting renewed

I believed again

I had hope

I kept the faith and I prayed again

I took you away from that horrible woman Who didn’t care wether you were alive or dead

The woman who saw money before a precious life

I saved you as you saved me

And I watched you grow slowly but surely

I remembered when your grandma and pa

Would visit me in jail

I remembered how you ran to hug me and kiss me

I also remembered that your first steps are because of me

I pushed you through from the moment you held on to my hand

I guided you

Followed you and gladly helped you with your first steps of accomplishment

You walked that day from the television to the sofa as I clapped and cheered you on

Screaming

Go, go, Solomon

You can do it

I taught you to count and sound out words

I showed you things many didn’t take the time to

And today I have felt like a failure indeed

Because those same little footsteps I helped you with

You have turned and raised them on me today

Kicking me several times

Causing me to internally bleed inside

Not just my stomach

But my heart too

You have stomped, torn and diminished everything I ever taught you

with the anger which you held against others

You have kicked them to me,

in, out and through

Solomon I am hurt today

And that is because of you

You made me happy when I was only seventeen

Today I am thirty two and I wish to never ever be in this situation again

I am more hurt and afraid of you than I am angry and bitter

I have shed one too many tears

And although I know you have ADHD

(A chronic condition including attention difficulty, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness)

It doesn’t give you the right to hurt those who loves you dearly

You are taking advantage of your medical condition

Using it as excuses in unfortunate situations

But you know what is wrong from right and your mental state of mind isn’t always the cause

You’re a big boy now

I expected better from you than to constantly hurt others with lies and physical abuse, threats or demands

You know better Solomon

Your condition can be better but everyone says leave you be

Before you act out and create a scene rather than they just discipline you

They feel sorry

But I am not

Because I see potential in you and you can’t see past your nose

You listen to others as they remind you of your disease

You have abused us all with your threats of committing suicide

At twelve years old I can’t understand

why do I have to run and hide knives away from you

Because every mistake you make

you blame everything on your brain

Solomon our little King 👑 in the make

I pray you understand our teachings and change your ways one day

🙏

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

It isn’t fair that at 32 years

I am still being told what I should or shouldn’t do

Wether my parents or the man that I am with

Sometimes I wish just to run far away

It’s sad that I have no life and

My time is dedicated into always doing what’s right

Not just for me

But everyone else too

I pretend that it’s okay and hope and pray that it ends one day

I have that respect

that is why

I have not neglected them

Yet there’s times when I want to run and have no regrets

Live life on the edge and indulge in what satisfies my soul; the urge of laughter is needed to cure my hearts disaster

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

Sometimes I try

Sometimes I try

Sometimes I try to please everyone around me

And in the process I lose myself and a little of my sanity

Running around in circles

Answering one question after another

Trying to cope

Giving the best advice I could of

Listening when others need an ear

Thinking of solutions

Helping those to conquer their fears

But when my advice goes down the drain

Into a gutter with disgusting remains

I feel used

Washed up and confused

Verbally abused

No matter how hard I try

I fail

And I still know not of why

It isn’t because of me

For my advice is given freely

And those who don’t take heed

Then the challenge you will face

indeed

Sometimes I try

To help those who needs the advice

And when all has been said and done

I become

The bad one

But that’s okay

Because I have tried

Although I have failed in their eyes

At least I have tried

It isn’t my fault

Although I blame me sometimes

My mouth and my honesty gets the best of me

Causing me to lose control of my emotions and giving advice based on my past experience

Sometimes I try just too much and it comes a time

When enough is enough

Optimistic Devi ❤️ ✍️ 🙏

Tattoos

Tattoos

Tiny needles piercing through the layers of the skin

Connecting lines, dots, and names

Creating images of unique art

Some with colors, some with none

A passion of likes, wether an animal, an object, a symbol or designs

Tattoos are like visions in other people’s eyes

They show their meanings through the pattern that was etched into their skin

All of us

Each unique in our own way

Letting art show our beauty with creative drawings

Tattoos are for those who are daring and enjoy art

Tattoos for some are the only way of their expressions of the heart ❤️

Some get tatted for the dead

Some for hate

Some for those who actually have killed

They signify just about anyone or anything it’s a form of beauty on the skin

Tattoos is art

Optimistic Devi ♥️✍️🙏

Music 🎵 🎼 🎶

Music 🎵 🎼 🎶

From the beginning of time

Music 🎼 was made

With tin cans and metal spoons 🥄

Or just about anything, that clinks

Violins 🎻 and guitar 🎸 strings

Voices in the wind

Echoes through tunnels

Screams from a distance on the top of a mountain ⛰

They all leave a ringing sound like music to the ear

When you’re sad 😔 and lonely 😩 listen to some tunes

They make you feel better or may give you the blues

If you’re happy and cheerful 😃

Then put on some music and

Let’s rock to the rhythm of its base 🎶

Music 🎵 takes you through events of the past, or at the moment

Leaving you with a feeling of complete satisfaction, no matter the time or place

Music 🎼

Soothes the soul

Heals the sick

Cures the wounded heart ♥️

Bring tears 😭 to the eyes 👀

And smiles on a face

Music 🎶 🎼 🎵

Optimistic Devi ♥️ ✍️ 🙏

No matter what people say

No matter how they feel

I got you and you got me

No matter how hurtful your words may be at times

I know your actions speaks louder them

I may not get much time with you through the day

But I think of you through mines and ways to fix things when we fight

Times is hard and things happen

We all make mistakes and some can never be forgotten

So with this said

I’m willing to fight

Fixing things the best that I can and making things right

Because you’ve always lead me straight and gave me great advice

to keep my words to myself, sometimes

Or you would give me all the reasons to write

I love that you encourage me to pursue my goals

Taking my education to higher levels

Writing and sharing my journey of life

Leaving my words as inspiration

for the future child and the many more people in this world

Leaving behind a legacy

Written facts and situations in the lives of many

Some are struggles and some are smooth

You give me titles for each poem and I thank you for each day you give me encouragement

I love you Vic

Although at times your words hurts my soul at least you apologize

And when I forgive

We make beautiful memories

Because each fight makes us stronger

8 years in counting and we’re still able to finish each other sentences at times

So there is something that is right

And if we continue to see eye to eye

Then our journey will be a gorgeous sight

Optimistic Devi 🌹

Time wasted

Nothing irks my nerves than time wasted and nothing gained

I understand that not everyone has time to respond to a message or a call all the time

But if you say you will do as you say

Let your words not go down in vain

Rather be stern and mean what you say

Do as you speak because actions speaks louder than words and God only knows what that is worth

Because lately

No one believes in respect

To respond to a message or the phone call of a friend

No one understands that it means the world to someone for the time from someone else

No one will know how much it hurts to stay awake and wait for that text or

Call

And yet

Nothing

No one

Not even a single word out of respect for the time you have made me wasted

But you have the time

To send me a message the day after

Many Hours later

That you’re sorry

Yet sorry still doesn’t cut it

And my time has already been wasted

So why try to fix things now?

Why waste more time in arguing

or speaking of the same thing twice?

I know my worth and I’m glad I just over looked the anger which I held

Because I may have said so many things I might have regret

Nothing hurts than my time being wasted

🤦‍♀️

Devi Optimistic 🌹

As your lips 👄 swathed the napes of my neck

My heart ♥️ begins to melt

I give in to temptation as my toes curl and I begin to get this sensation of hot 🔥 and cold 🌫 tingling through my spine

As we both moved to the rhythm of the music 🎼 as our

Bodies are entwined

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏Always on your mind

The world 🌎

Colored correction

We are all labeled by numbers, or colors, religion or status (financial, career, power, convicts, or immigration).

We are lovers, haters, executioners and creators

We are from different origins, separated by land and water, which was designed to differentiate our skin complexion, our speech, our religion and our culture

Our foods are cooked differently, our clothes are handmade or by machine and our schools are taught using different techniques

We are the world

Warriors and conquers

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

Do not expect

Do not expect me to run to your aid when all day for days at a time I’ve been trying to tell you something of importance and you neglected to look in my direction

Do not expect me to understand and mind read the hurt you’re experiencing

Do not expect me to give you satisfaction of getting under my skin

Do not expect that as much love I hold deep inside can’t be diminished within seconds if lies you tell

Do not expect me to come each time you call when the many times I’ve been there before, you failed at keeping your word

Do not expect that you can shut me down and shut me out and not make me feel some type of way, when all I tried to do was be the best that I can

Do not expect that I will always be here waiting for you to come to realization when from the start I’ve said your name has a place in my heart

Don’t expect to make understand when you can’t meet me half way with our plans

Don’t expect that I will always be around because just when you know it

I will be lost never to be found

Don’t expect too much from anything or anyone

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

I know my worth

Your pride my life

Your arrow

My knife

You send daggers through my heart leaving me lifeless

Degrade me; yet tell me I’m priceless

Abuse me verbally in my presence and even when I’m not around

You cut me deep with your double edged tongue

You have ripped apart my pride

You are now a figment of my imagination

You are

No longer the solution to my elucidation

I have found hope and I will continue to cope with the daily struggles of my life

And battle this world as a brave woman with her head held high

Spreading her wings and soaring to the sky

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

Incantation

What incantation do you have me under

Just as I forget about you

I begin to remember

As the night slowly creeps in, while the world is asleep

You invade my mind and memories are revealed

I begin to wonder and ponder of all the could of, would of, should of and know that time has passed to make things work but yet it hurts me each time I see your face at the store

It breaks my heart that we became friends then lovers now we act as if we are strangers

It gets lonely in my head at nights without you

Sometimes the pain hurts so much that my wishes of being dead were only because I wouldn’t have the need to feel

Your sorcery has gotten the best of me

I hate you and still I love the few times you’ve made me feel loved and cared for

I know I have to let go and this is a must

I understand we’re both hurting

But understand me that there’s no trust

You have failed me one too many times and I just don’t have the energy to pretend and live on with lies

I trust nothing you speak, even the love which you claimed you have for me

You’re mouth was reckless and everything that went wrong was my fault or was about what I did

I won’t be around so there’s none to be blamed

I hope you understand

So that you won’t make the same mistake again

Wether another woman or your wife

You won’t do things without thinking twice

Sometimes I think

You have me under a spell

As much as I want to walk away

Something draws me back

And it’s that love I trusted and the words of your promises which made me believe that this relationship was the best thing that happened to me

But then moments after when people are around

I try my best to cope and pretend you don’t exist

Letting other things occupy my mind

The incantation only occurs at night

When I missed being enclosed in your arms and waking up next to your breath is the only time in which I miss you and love you and wish you were near

I say that I am being held captive during those moments

Because only then is when you creep into my thoughts

But with time I will break free from

The captive sorcery

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

The drug that brought him closer to God

From drugs to God

Turning lives around

Just the other day I remembered those stories of you telling me

How drugs destroyed your sanity and choosing the wrong woman caused you to loose everything

You told me of things before and upon and even after marrying your wife

She was your drug which destroyed your life

Now today you sit with thoughts in your head

Listening to the corruption of the words which were said

Dreading nothing because God has held your head and has carried you through the storm and calm you will remain because He has given you strength to move forward

One step in front another as you lead and preach and teach wisdom to those less fortunate

Your drug that destroyed you and made you stronger

Was your wife and no other

You will be healed and God will provide

Just trust on in his guiding light 💡

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

You will heal

You will heal

You will heal, yes you will

I know this for sure

I’ve been down that road before

You will heal past the lies

The broken promises and the disguise

You will heal

After the death that occurred

Knowing that your grandfather is watching over you

You will heal after the hurtful words, the betrayal and the truth of those who tells you as a warning signal

You will heal although you are weak at the moment

You will heal that torn heart and that soul of yours which was ripped right out leaving your body lifeless and aching

You will heal as you listen and you will eventually lead others of your understandings which you have also learned

You will heal past your hurt and teach those who are how to overcome and grow

You will heal because God is guiding you, friends are telling you, everyone cares for you

You will heal

You will heal even if it takes a lifetime of dedication and motivation to get you to where you belong

You will past all those who did you wrong!

You will heal through the arguments and others negative opinions as you are stronger than you think, and what I can ever imagine

You will heal

You will heal and once you do

You will empower and you will embrace many of those who once went through similar or worse than what you did

You will guide and you will protect and you be healed just as I did

You will heal as you write, you will let go of the wrongs and focus on what’s right

You will heal just as many has been broken before, just as I did and a lot who you don’t know of

You will heal, take your time to be YOU, learn to love yourself, and life will be worth the hidden blessings

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

Trapped

I can’t believe I’m trapped

Trapped between two double edged swords;the voices of a father and son

Two different opinions yet one thing in common

They both reckon that I am a rebel

Trapped between lies and to my surprise my man has not yet decided wether he should stay or should he go to meet with his father or not

I’m trapped between two hard headed men who are stuck in their own path allowing forces to draw them apart so that they will never see eye to eye

Or in one direction togetherness

I am trapped inside my pain and the anger which grew each day as I was the blame for many things

I am trapped inside these walls which listens and talks

I am trapped in between a father and son

Who clearly has no reason of working things out

With hasty decisions can lead to a lifetime of failure

As the Bible states

“thou shalt honor thy parents, and your days will be blessed on earth”

We shall lead by example of this quote

However with a stubborn father and a trying son it will never work

as it’s been written in the book of instructions before leaving earth

Some do follow this concept and it naturally works and some who don’t still survive because even some Parents have disowned their child

I am trapped between the love for a man whose family hates me and wished nothing but death as my fate

I am trapped inside a dark tunnel with no escape

Only enough room to breathe through a tiny hole, silver metal container

Trapped in the echo of my breath

The sound in my mind

And the painful things which have occurred in my past life

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️🙏

Bury my pain

Bury my pain

I found an old treasure box 📦that I hid years ago

just the other day

And on it written

Open if you dare

As I continued to tackle with the lock

Forgetting the password

I was stuck

So I decided to pry it open

With a hammer and a crowbar

Finally…

it’s opened after so long

Opening the secrets of my painful journey and why my experiences has changed me

Old written poetry

About the past rape, which turned my life around since that day

From cutting school and running into the wrong guys, running away from family and friends and hiding myself from the world

I was in denial

I was ashamed of everything

It’s was not my fault

But yet I blamed myself!

Cutting my arms to believe I am still alive

As I watched the blood flow from my veins and the tears rolled out my eyes

Still no pain I felt

Than the one that’s buried deep inside

I thought that day I buried my pain

But yet again

I was just in hiding

As I opened this box

I relive my hurt

Bringing back the past

Seems much more worse

But it’s time to move forward and facing the facts

What has happened cannot be undone

No man can change the hands of time

The clock keeps ticking and my heart is still frozen

And the memories still hurt but I will be fine

I will heal past the hurt and the horrific nightmares of my past

I will move forward and I will be alright

I will burn those poems and bury that box 📦 for healing, I must!

Optimistic Devi 📦❤️✍️

Escape the rain

Escape the Rain

As he shivers on the stair of the Catholic Church

Wondering to himself

What is his worth

Asking God to show him the way

Someone from the church congregation reached out and touched him

Opening their doors

Giving him a place to stay

Safe from the heavy rain, thunderstorms and lightning

Safe from the many men who questioned him and made demands for him to leave where he stands

This man

He turned to God

And God made the way

He didn’t come but he sent

He wasn’t in physical form but in spirit

God touched his head and anointed him with the blessings of thanksgiving

An angel 😇 was sent to give relief to this man

At last he has

Escaped the Rain 🌧

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️

Think

Guard your heart from making the same mistake twice

Don’t go backwards anymore

Stop 🛑 think

Evaluate and reevaluate

Listen and shield

Then think before you give any answers

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️

Change is imminent

I see your hurt and I understand your pain

I know what you’re going through

I’ve been through the same

Lies and betrayal

Sometimes we think we know the person we’re with

However as time progress

People do change

Some for the better

Some for worse

The question is

If you stayed in it

Do you know that you will continue to hurt?

You’re my best friend and little sister

I love you dearly

And although he’s like my brother

I will look out for your best interest first

Put you as a priority in my life

Because I know what you’re worth

You’re a priceless Gem

A diamond that twinkles in the sky

The stars that shine at night

And the most loyalest of friends

From the beginning until the end

You deserve someone who will love you unconditionally

Flaws and all

Someone to show you the world with your eyes closed

So your heart can feel the depth of its beauty

Someone to guide, protect and honor you with respect, and loyalty

Someone who is proud to walk with you by their side

Someone who can comfort you in the most needed of times

You deserve the best and to see you settle for less

It breaks my heart so much

I see me in you in the past

I know what you’re going through

Trust me, I’ve been there too

Although you’re aching so very much

I promise no matter how hard the journey is, I will be by your side.

Drunk conversations, long hours at a time

Doesn’t matter wether day or night

I will be here when you call

As a friend and older sister

I beg you not to fall!

Do not fall into allurement

Do not let your guards down

You do not need a man who controls your inner emotions

You control your own

And you can stand up for your worth

Value who you are

A beautiful earthly angel who all she meets, she’s adored by

Do not let the sweet words from his lips find it’s way into your heart

You’re doing great sis

And proud of you I indeed am

Stay focused and motivated as you are

Time is ticking as it waits for none

Look into a mirror and admire who you are

Beauty irradiates from deep within

Soul search and find you

Before you can love again

Take time to understand you

Change is imminent

Optimistic Devi ❤️

Endometriosis

Living with endometriosis is a horrible experience that I wish no female to ever have to go through

It is hard to understand a disease which has an unknown reason for occurring

I hope you all enjoy 😉 this poem ✍️

God bless 🙏

Endometriosis

Thick clots

Body weak

Loss of appetite

Loss of sleep

My stomach feels as if something inside clawing my inner walls down

I began to get Paranoid

The pains ugh 😑, it’s Excruciating 😖

Standing on my feet for hours makes it even more hard

The blood just flows and soaks up several pads

in just one hour

The thick jelly like flubber coated bright and dark red

With tiny speckles of air bubbles on top

The smell of blood… yuck 🤢

Yes all women has experienced this

It’s our time of the month

The difference is that I am in pain three times a year, sometimes once

But the pain is so much worse than most will ever know

I form clots the size of my fists and the Doctors only remedy for relief is, pills.

It’s hard to believe that I have endometriosis

An underlying disease which is an unknown cause

Sometimes I wonder what in the world is going on with my body

I wish there was a way to fix me

I can’t stand this battle and this pain

It hurts like hell

I’m going insane

I’ll take the meds for now

But I want the Doctors to make it STOP!

Split personality

Split personality

You lie to me but you’re honest with everyone that surrounds me

You love me one minute and speak words of hate the next

You tell me to get motivated but you destroy me every time I pick myself up

You complain to many people all the time about the things which I did wrong and your ex did right

You compare me to the past which caused you so much pain at one point in your life

You have me and also have a wife

If this is destiny with you for the rest of my life then what happens if one day you want to make me your bride and my answer was no, because you failed me as a girlfriend and you made me wait on the sideline while you and your friends had more time together

You leave me at home to go hang out with your boys

While I stayed home with your mother

You complained that I nag and I have no trust

Do you ever stop to think of why? It is because you have given me many reasons not to believe you

You speak one thing and then do another

How is it I am always correcting you as if I was your mother

This isn’t the person I fell in love with

And it breaks my heart to say this

But I guess time has passed and enough is enough

I rather be alone and miserable than with you and knowing that I make you unhappy

It is everything I do

You say it makes no sense

But in my world it does

Because I am my own individual

And my thoughts, opinions and emotions are just as valid as yours too

The difference is that I don’t degrade your potential, your capabilities, your name, nor do I degrade your intelligence

You have verbally abused me with the words from your lips

You have called me names which made me sick

You have lied and looked me in the eyes and when you were caught you still denied me the right to know the truth behind closed doors

You have said horrible things to my friends people who’s loyalty stands with me that the truth comes out in the end

I am loved by many and I refuse to sit back and let you rule over me

Women weren’t born to be walked on

They were placed in this world to love and marry and reproduce

We are the reason for this civilization which we live in today

And I will be damned if I allow this brutality to remain silent

I speak in words of confidence that I will strengthen me

The first step in starting

Is to remove you from my life

Letting go and pushing past that strife

Moving forward with no regrets

And deciding who I should or shouldn’t neglect

Change is imminent

Contentious Heart ♥️

Contentious

Beating heart ♥️ fighting battles

Questions and war zones of emotions

As we collaborate on master pieces

Words written eloquently

Your desires, my needs

You inquire, my question

You believed, my beliefs

A battle of emotions

Contentious Heart ♥️

I am exhausted at this debate

But I am a warrior

Yes, I stand still and I will

Battle those grounds and I will do it brave

I will fight this battle

No matter what I must face, no matter what it takes

I am given the opportunity to remove obscurity out my lists of categories.

Contentious Heart ♥️

I bleed, but I heal

I fight to remain in tacked

mentally

I won’t give up until

My last breath

I refuse to denounce myself

So I will continue to applaud this battle

Contentious Heart ♥️

The fighting heart

Opportunity

To the lifeless child that wanders the streets

A meal out of the garbage

No shoes on her feet

Mind broken and incomplete

As she wanders the streets of the brutal

Cold

Tummy aches and grumbling sensations, blurred vision and painful emotions

Her tears,

she tries to dry, with her dirty pink sleeves, knees bended, head bowed, the urge to vomit the garbage she had just consumed. She exhales. She pouts. She’s lost and wishes to be found.

To the lifeless child in the streets

I hear you

I see

And

I hope

You hear the words which I speak

You will accomplish, you will shine, you will

Become extravagant and successful, magnificent and beautiful.

You must first believe

Then follow the steps to a beautiful destiny

Enjoy and embrace the journey

As by your side I will remain.

Your life and name, your love, loyalty, and fame, your generosity and dedication will leave a legacy for not only a nation but the world and not only for one era but for generations one after another

So be still and patient

Speak less

Observe and listen

Use time to learn and adapt in any situation

Stay humble and loyal

And life will unfold remarkable visions of of each process to success

But you must stay in position and be persistent

Follow your goals and make your path. Challenging journeys leads to productive destinations!

Have faith and push aside your illusions of suicidal thoughts allow me to help with a

propitious start.

An opportunity only comes once in a lifetime. Knock on the door and God shall answer your calls

I stand before you to bring life back to your broken soul with wisdom and love care and understanding.

To the lifeless child who sits waiting as someone has disowned them I am someone who has lost my child trough a tragic experience.

One soul saved is a blessing in disguise

We are all here to cross paths with others who are in worse situations than we are. To acknowledge and sympathize. To endure and ensure that pain subsides with time.

As one hand washes another, as with time heals all wounds.

It is bound to work together as unity till infinity and never diversity as long as trust is built then relationships bloom.

Optimistic Devi 🌹😘❤️

Find and free to be me

I find peace in knowing that my writings have set me free

Free from bondage, and hands which hurt

Free from discomfort and excruciating pains in the soul

I find peace in the sounds of the birds chirping at my windowsill

The smell of summer BBQ, freshly cut grass and cold Coronas on a Sunday afternoon,

Relaxing and meditating

On the beauty which unfolds

I am free to choose the directions in which I must go

I am Free to let the past remain and live only for today in hopes of a better tomorrow.

Free of all uncertainty

Love, peace, and destiny

I have found Hope!

I find joy in intelligence, in education and wisdom from the old.

I find myself through this mystical mystery dream as I let go of the hurt.

I am free to create beautiful memories.

I am free

To share my past pain experiences and joys which slowly unfolds

Creating the image of a woman which stands before you, highly motivated, great ambition, heart as gold, great potentials, loyal and dedicated.

I find peace in simplicity

I am

Free to be the woman I am meant to be!

Optimistic Devi 🌹😘❤️

Wire tap

Invasion of my conversations

But not just that

You snatch my mind as you invaded my space

Reading my writings

And getting lost in my thoughts

You dared to rewrite my destiny

And let me tell you what a failure that would be

My journey is for me

So look as you will

Inquire deep within

And you will see that it is not I who am lacking

You invade my space, you read my mind, and with that information you can destroy my life!

So what I share or I discuss

It is my business and not yours

So seek what you wish to find and you will see that it is me

A broken hearted, loving human, who seeks for love and loyalty

Seek so you know that I hide nothing because my mind is like a chess game

The Queen 👸 protects her King 👑

And my King is my destiny

I take pride in “ME”

I hold those keys 🔑

You have that lock

And trust you can continue to wire tap

Failure knocks on your doors

For seeking and invading my privacy

Rather I hope you shed a few tears or so

Because In my writings only then will you

Know

The woman I am is not what you imagine

I am worth far more beyond your worthless imagination

🌹Mystical Rose 🥀

🌹Mystical Rose 🥀

Withered away

As sunlight turns to dark

As clouds became black

As stars shine on the dark

A blanket of love

As lights lit the path

And visions became reality

Ahead of time we see the future and still we have no remedy

No cure for disasters

As mystical roses are destined to be destroyed

We humans are

Entwined with abilities and qualities

With lust and love

Hate and war

We are born to have balance

Mystical Rose 🌹 I dare you be

Beautiful enough to shine through the storm and the roughest of dark

With

Head held high

as the day you were born

Pushing through with effort and demand

Reaching for the stars and climbing ladders to capture your goals

🌹 Mystical Rose 🥀

Life is a funny funny 😆 place

Life is a funny funny place

We are born to die

We suffer to live

We ache and cry

We love and smile

We grow angry and hate

We love and get married

We bore children to teach

We are born to reproduce

We raise pets to be loyal

We are taught to be humble

We kill to eat

We plant to reap

We create electricity to bring fourth light

We create gasoline to cook our food over

We are each created uniquely

We make music

We write lyrics

We are observers

We are dictators

We are followers

We are leaders

We are successful

We are in poverty

We are blessed

We are stressed

We are made to empower and be empowered

We are made to conquer

We are made to destroy

Life is a funny funny place

We live to learn

We adapt to surroundings

We are created to be our own

We are taught to reciprocate a good deed

We live to enjoy and be merry

We live to be sad and diverse

We are companions

We are associates

We are executors

We are defenders

We are sociopaths

We are condemn

We rebuke

We praise

We are judged and we judge

We are convicted and we are sentenced

We are good and evil

Life is a funny funny place

We are destined to become someone

Someone to inspire, to influence, to inquire and reason with.

Someone to admire and acknowledge leaving behind a legacy.

Love is life and life is a funny funny place

We endure and we disperse

For every action is a reaction!

Agree to disagree

Life is a funny funny place

Optimistic Devi ✍️😘❤️

I hate him!

I hate him with a passion of death

The desire of smells

Blood like

Thick and red

Clots hanging out the corners of his head

I hate him!

He makes my stomach turn

My body burn

My head hurt

And leaves my soul suffocated in the dirt

I hate him!

I cringe at the sound of his voice

It’s in my head

I can’t stop the noise

I hate him!

Like the caged bird I am now

He captured me

Cut down my wings

And stole me away from my serenity

He took my heart and tore it apart

and called me the most horrible

Names in the dictionary

And this man thinks I would say yes to get married!

I hate him!

I hate him for destroying my life, damaging my pride, making me weak, taking advantage of me!

I hate him for the fingers which he points,

the words that he speaks, the truth between the lies, the blame that’s on me, I hate him!

I hate that games that he plays, the words of love I never got to hear, the anger which he showed

I hate him so!

I hate the name calling and the financial abuse

The times I spent hours to work my fingers to the bones

And he took my money and spent it on whores.

I hate him!

I hate walking through the doors after a hard day of work and have to be abused with words of hate and bitterness from the lips of a man who wishes me bad

I hate him!

I hate him and I hate that I forgave him

I’ve healed past that hate

I’ve removed myself for the obstacles which I once faced

I forgave

The hardest thing an individual has to do when love has been burnt

Is to forgive that hate and move forward

Optimistic Devi ❤️😘✍️

Silence your agony

Silence your Agony

Treasure the beautiful memories

Embrace the journey

Inhale, exhale

Escape

Silence your agony

Remove your pain

Replace it with a passion

Elevate your mind

Learn new traits

Be silent and listen attentively

Silence your agony

Remove acrimony

Replace it with euphony

Dedicate time and stay focused

Life is worth it

Get motivated

Improve your capabilities

As time passes by

Slowly your agony will be diminished

Silence your agony

Flamboyant Girl

Flamboyant Girl

Exuberance, and confident soul

Brighter than the sunrise in the horizon

Intelligent mind

Motivated soul

Desires of the heart

Purest of love

Flamboyant Girl

Unique in her ways

Exotic and beautiful

Captivating to the eyes of those who reaches far enough to touch her soul

She’s loving

She’s loyal

She’s respected

She’s giving and always willing to save lives

Exquisite in poetry

Delicate emotions

Fragile heart

And irresistible

She’s adventurous and daring

Outgoing and optimistic

Bold and sufficiently powerful

With the words from her lips and the sway of her hips

She’s magnificent

Flamboyant Girl

Mystery child

She holds pain and with each, she channels it through her poetry

Writing soothes her aches

It’s relaxing to her and she enjoys to meditate

Red wine 🍷

Slow soft jazz

As she tightly grips the pen with her fingertips

As each letter glides across the blue lined pages

She reminds herself she is strong 💪

Letting words flow

Releasing all pains and sorrow

Flamboyant Girl that is me

Young at heart

Old as gold

Wisdom and strength through painful experiences

She’s flamboyant

Optimistic Devi ❤️✍️😉

As women we are taught to be independent from since a little girl

The old words from the wise

“Men can take away anything materialistic from you but what’s in your mind none can ever take or change!”

I believe that this statement is a fact

Mellifluous Man

Mellifluous Man

Sapphire tie, Etiquette, Dulcet, charm

Damn you blow my mind

Your lips

They quiver

as we stand facing each other gazing into the eyes of one another

Beach front

Feet in sand

Hands held tightly firm

Mellifluous Man

You remain on my mind

You make me wild 😜

Idyllic I am

Satisfied with every want and need

Mellifluous Man

Stay the way you are

Captivate my beauty

Indulge in my essence

Allow me to escape in your mind

Run wild on your emotions

Caress my dedication

Devote yourself in my potential

Be the reason behind my motivation

Light the path to my destination

Excluding all negativity

Serenade me with your mystery

Mellifluous Man

I give you permission to drain my energy

Lip lock with my melody

Mixed tapes filled with passion and poetry

As we correlate

with the perfect rhythm

Mellifluous Man

Take my hand 🤚

Dance with me into eternity

Create with me a haven

Collaborate with me a new destiny

Dedicated to

My Tiger

My one and only true Love ❤️

Vickram

Love always your Yogi Bear 🐻

Trials and tribulations

Judgement day is near

God is sending his army

as the Government are keeping us in captivity

Dividing us and creating misery

Stripping us of our pride and dignity

What is this destruction in humanity?

It’s the war against the innocence

The hate from a president

The blame of other countries

The criticism of other races and religion

The pain of separation

It is

The mind of a simple man with authority power and money

Filled with greed and conspiracies

We will face battles after another.

As humans we are made to conquer

And over come

The battle of war and evil has officially begun

Temptations and dishonesty is among us today

We can and will over come

We will prevail

Don’t let temptation of the demon conquer you

You reach out and conquer “him!”

Generosity and a changed life

Pupils dilated

From the drugs in my system

Senses sharper than a double edged razor

Veins swollen

Skin

Black and blue

Same old torn up stockings and butchered hair cut

It’s been over a year

The drugs have taken control of me

I’m lost

Cold

And numb

I wake up in search of my only companion

My drug

I opened my eyes

None I found

as I laid behind the garbage dump

As the sun rays beam upon me

It gets brighter by the seconds and it’s scorching hot

My body burns

Skin pale

I hear

The sounds of giggles

And stands in front me a young girl no more than five years old

Giggling 🤭 to her mommy’s joke

She looks down and turns to me

Her whole expression changes

I sat as I watched her turned head and eyes gazed at me

She suddenly stops and pulls her mother back

To give me her candy 🍭

Arms stretched out she handed me

“Here Miss, I want you to have my candy. Mommy says it’s good to share.”

In disbelief I sat with tears in my eyes

Uncertain of why this little girl choose me

I was speechless 😶 and disgusted at myself

That little girl took my breath away

But also broke my heart that day

I wasn’t a bum

Nor

Had I have no Home

I was simply an addict

I was lost and alone

And

That day my soul was renewed

I was given a chance at life again

I found emotions the first thing in the morning as the sun just beamed on me

I saw that light

I felt the pain

And through my might I was willing to fight the urge of the drug which destroyed me

I wanted my life back

With one smile and the generosity of a child

Lives can change

If I did

so can you

Take it from an addict who has been cleansed and renewed

God is great and he may not always come but he sends

Cheers To the strength through a tiny soul which God has given to bless me with another chance at life with simple generosity and a sparkle of love ❤️

Happy 4th 2018

4th of July

We celebrate our country Independence Day

A day of freedom and liberty and justice for all

This year we aren’t free

Look around you

What’s so happy about freedom that which we do not have

We have no choices

We have no voices

We have no control over anything

The system is placed to destroy us

To manipulate us

To terminate us

To deceive us

To entertain us

To remind us that we are divided

Look at our president

So bold and powerful that he is allowing his rage to take control of the choices he is making

Dividing mother from child

Eliminating Judges

Trash talking his peers or previous presidents

Let me remind us all that war and destruction is here and there’s no such thing as freedom

Pestilence, War, Famine, Death

It surrounds us all

Look around

Every day turn on the television

You hear the news

You see the damages every day

Floods, earthquakes, volcanoes erupted, poverty, separation, war, etc…

Even the medications we take

The whole system is rigged

We are told lies about our lives

Our health and even our wealth

The money we have isn’t our own

It all belongs to the Government

The Government has taken those rights from us today

Ever heard the concept of

“Innocent until proven guilty?”

Well sorry to break your bubble

Or turn your stomachs

But truth is that we are all part of this corrupted system

We are all

“Guilty until proven innocent!”

Wether we like it or not

This is the case

We are read our rights to remain silent when being arrested. Then we are charged with a crime

We then are given court dates to come back to fight our cases

Won’t you open your eyes and see that we are all held in captivity

The system controls us

One man can destroy us all

There is no unity

There’s no peace

I can tell you that corruption and war is ahead

It’s been foretold years before

The coming of the end of the world

It will be in fire and brimstone

The four horseman of the apocalypse is here

And destruction is near

The beast is marked

And the money is tagged

Encryption of demonic powers

The root of all Evil

Evil begins with the man who holds those power and the money

That evil is

The president

And today you all celebrate a day of freedom

Freedom of speech and yet we have none

We’ve claimed our independence yet

We have no rights

We are under man kinds powerful spell

Called the Government

Good luck to all

Happy 4th

God be with you as he is we me

Child on the Stand

It’s ashamed the world we live in today

That children under the age of ten years old

Are being dragged into the system

Being questioned by the governments

No rights to attorneys

No one to stand at their side

Not a mother, nor father nor any family or friend

The Judge 👨‍⚖️ is out to a task

As tears wells up in his eyes

He’s ashamed I can see as I watch him from TV

He’s ashamed to be the one who questions the innocence of a child

He’s ashamed of the system he has been chosen to work for

He’s ashamed that he’s going to have to make a decision

As the District Attorney reads off the case

The Judge looks down on his page

The charges that a child was accuse of

Entering the country without permission

As the Judge wipes the corner of his eyes

I began to pray

Head bowed, knees kneeled, I scream out

Dear God

Could you please Help!

Help these children who are in pain, the separation of a mother and a child is already a burning ache in their hearts

Now to be trialed and jailed and deported right after that

These are children my dear God

Help their souls to be happy and not sad!

Guide them through and blind the eyes of the Judge

Help him to see past his authority and show compassion and give these children mercy!

Amen 🙏

Indecisive of what to do

The Judge has stepped down

Leaving the case in dismissal

Our God is true and just and he will prevail

When we call on his name

He will come

When we believe in him

He will show us the light

It’s called faith, love, hope and dedication

Let’s being to pray because the end is near

Poetry

Poetry is about

It is wanting to resurrect or preserve or do things that pull against the fact of our mortality

Accepting criticism gracefully

Let your subconscious do the writing.

Edit carefully and without judging your own creativity.

You can write short sweet and simple

Or long heartbroken memories

The beauty of poetry is that you get to decide in your mind what you comprehend.

With time and persistence

Dedication and motivation

Writing ✍️ becomes easier and the words flow faster

The emotions grow deeper and life feels less painful as a weight lifted off your shoulders

Poetry is to inspire and be inspired

It is to define the world, life, families, friends, music, love, hate, husbands and wives, parents, grand parents, ancestors, children, rape, education, work, in laws, fun, sex, money, abuse, drugs, alcohol, etc…

Poetry can be written in many forms

And about anything

If you sit in silence and meditate on your title

You will find words that connects with another creating sentences and paragraphs, to pages and books.

Poetry is about

Digger deeper

Reaching for your soul

The hidden words which describes your emotions at the moment

Love

Hate

Gain

Lose

Pain

Inspiration

Hurt

Blame

Energy draining

Realize

Experience

Expectations

Anger

It’s beautiful to connect words and bring fourth

Smiles

Tears

Anger

Help

Advice

Trust

Loyalty

Relationships

Destruction

Business

Family

Career

And so much more

So the next time anyone has agreed to disagree

With the things I write

I hope you understand

That with poetry

It soothes the soul

Melts the heart

And changes your perspective on things through the eyes of the writer

He/she captures your personality

And embeds it into their heart

The way that poem makes them feel after reading it

A precious memory that would last for all of eternity

The drug that destroyed her home

His friends, fantasies, alcohol and cocaine

A love so rare

Nothing else matters when two souls connects and becomes one

No one else means much other than their love

When honesty and pleasure becomes hate and regrets

When joy becomes Grey and pain has been dealt

She sat and wondered to herself

All along

Everyone was right

And through it all she was blind

A love so rare

He was thirty she was forty one

He wanted to party she wanted a home

He enjoyed the company of his friends and she spent most of her time alone

As time went by

The love began to slowly diminish

Snatching all away from what she has built

The grief to leave behind her home

The pain she felt when she made up her mind

She did it with a cleared and conscience mind

Letting love slip away

Through her finger tips they go

Her heart she picks up from the floor

He wanted excitement outside of those walls

She wanted a baby and a garden of love

He destroyed her pride with his disgusted words

His sentences were like daggers to her soul

She lifted her head and motivated herself

Moving forward from the bitter memories which they had

She moved forward with one step after another

Taking back her powerful character

As journey takes her through

She will be okay

Because she is stronger than she seems

And her tears will flow

Many nights without him

But no matter how hard it may seem

She will glisten like the stars at night

With her head held high

Because she has overcome

She has finally stand up for what’s right for once

And she’s proud of the woman she became

She has higher goals and is worthy of so much more

I pray you’re safe now 🙏

Unexamined decisions, unforeseen consequences, drifting along with the current…. It’s easy for people to end up in places they never would have chosen. And then they feel trapped!

Conversations can lead to many destinations

Prolonged conversations

Descriptive emotions involved

When speaking of the past

From texts to talks

Letters to books

Poetry

Music, dance and destiny

From vacations traveling to different places

We spoke more than we slept and lived with no regrets

Time after time

Speaking of past present and future

Of marriages and happily ever after

Of babies and dreams

And after a long period of time

Prolonged conversations eventually died

We speak when spoken to

Otherwise

One argues and one stays quite

We point fingers instead of trying to figure things out

We blame without listening

We hate without understanding

We are bitter and cruel

We say hurtful things to make the better half of us cry

And after a while

Prolonged conversations died

Conversations can change the circumstances in any situation

Don’t allow any relationship to die because of your failure to listen and understand what you’re significant other is going through

At that moment when they need you most in their lives

Failure to speak can make silence break a heart

One cannot read your mind, nor can they

Understand your pain but one can listen and speak

If you cannot give good advice and you hold on to the past

Then be silent and let others speak and you listen

Wether agree or disagree or agree to disagree

Either way it clears the air of silence

It helps you to clarify things

And have a better perspective of the reason for another individual opinions

Life is remarkable and people are unique in their own ways

Only if you listen before you speak will you understand the beauty of life

Conversations can lead to many destinations

She is Me

She has been hurt

She has over came

She has been burnt

She has been healed

Broken wings

Keeps her grounded

She isn’t afraid of captivity

Because in her mind

She is free mentally

She loves with a passion

She ignites souls

She lift up praises

Her smile glistens like gold

She is a warrior

One of a kind

Someone who is worthy

Of a life filled with security and tranquility

She is her own authority

She listens to no one

Other than her beating heart

And her intelligent mind

She knows what’s wrong and she tries to do what’s right

She is fierce like a Tiger

And calm like a kitten

She wears pain on her heels

And writes of life’s battlefield

She is true to her friends and her main objective is Loyalty

She is a rare gem

One of a kind

If you get to know her

You will understand why

She shares her experiences

in hopes of teaching others

She loves unconditionally just like a mother

She is unique, humble and polite

Piss her off and you’re on the next flight

Out of sight and out of mind

She is victorious and respected

She is powerful with her mind and wicked with a pen

Her art brings out her soul as she shows the beauty of the world within her swirls

Each stroke entwined with each other

Captivating the eyes of another

She is encouraging and motivated

She doesn’t believe in time being wasted

She enjoys reading and writing

And Dancing in the rain

She’s unique in many ways

Sometimes people call her the Jack of all trades

She is inspired and she enjoys inspiring others

She believes that every female should know what it is to become a mother

She knows her worth and never settles for less

She is admired for her compassion and talents

She is dedicated to what she puts her mind to

She is unique and pure at heart

She will never back down from what she stands up for nor does she start a project that she can’t finish

She has pride and dignity

She doesn’t like to stress

She prays to God and leaves it in his hands

She gets angry at times

And says hurtful things

She’s not perfect and that she admits

She loves driving with the windows down, letting her hair loose in the wind

She says it makes her feel a sense of being satisfied

The roads make her smile

She loves long walks and romantic talks

And

Scary movies, on winter nights

Cuddled up with her perfect guy

She is the eye of life

The mother of a birth

The sense of direction

The passion in her soul

She is free as a bird

She transitions and adapts when necessary

She is kind and pretty

Brave as a solider

Wild like a beast

She’s daring

She’s loving and caring

She’s proud of who she is

She is Me

Optimistic Devi

And one day

She discovered

That she was fierce

And strong

And full of fire,

And that not even

She could hold herself back

Because her passion burned brighter than her fears.

I rather

I don’t know why I allow you to get the best of me

Each time you break me you are only making me stronger

Each time you degrade me

You push me away further

Each time you remind me of the past

It only makes me bitter

Each time you’re ready to verbally battle it only shows your true character

Each time you point one finger at me

Remind yourself that three points back at you

I allow you to humiliate me and degrade my character as a respected woman

And I refuse to allow you to have control over my emotions any longer

So each time you throw things of the past in my face

Think of how you would feel being without me for the rest of eternity

Think of how you would hurt to know that this woman of yours has found her worth

Think of how empty you would be

knowing that you can’t verbally abuse me anymore

Think of the times we once shared and cry yourself to sleep

Feel how I have felt when you left me many times not knowing where you went coming home the next day

Only

This time for me

I won’t be coming back

Because today of all

You have emotionally destroyed me

Also

You have brought me back to reality

And I have realized my worth

I refuse to tolerate the words you speak

I rather walk away with words of God bless and leave in peace with nothing on my chest to remind me of you

Or the hate that began to grow

I rather leave with a lesson learned instead of regret

I rather living life than the feeling of being dead with someone you think loves you the same as you love them

I rather sleep

Alone and at peace rather than with pillows in between

Separating our bodies from touching one another

Having pain in our hearts and questions on our minds

I rather be bold and confident working towards success than to be timid and unsuccessful

Because a quite mouth never gets fed

I rather speak what’s on my mind than to keep it hidden inside

I rather live and be happy than to be happy and not live

I rather joyful noises than screams of painful words from the person I love

I rather my life being alone than with someone who makes me hurt

With the words which he speaks

Slowly killing me

I rather be me than to live a lie

Of

Uncertainty

Where did the time go?

Where did the time go

We were once “One of a kind”

Now we’re just,

You are you and I am me

No longer one in unity

We were two hearts that became one

But things have changed and time has passed

So here we are with a less trusted start

Things are now placed with

That’s yours and this is mine

Where did we go wrong?

What happened to time?

We once battled on a field of love where we escaped life and became one

Today we are two

That’s because of you

You once placed all your trust within me

Guided your heart with all your might

Still I broke those walls with an impressive fight

As your love grew stronger each day

I was once proud of being your lady

You once loved me unconditionally

You once took care of me

Where did the time go?

Today you have hate and regret

Your words they hurt

Like the daggers to my chest

Crumbling my peace

My heart and soul

I didn’t want to say

But today of all days

I’ve had enough

So what will it be?

Is it you are you and I am I

Or will we be

Together as one?

I’m tired of trying to figure everything out

So let me know so time

I waste no more

Where did the time go?