Doctor Doctor 👩‍⚕️

Doctor, Doctor

Screaming for help

As the Doctors came rushing in

Heart rates dropped

Full body seizure

I can only hear the echos in my brain

Injections one after another

Blood being drawn to get tested

Not sure what’s wrong with my head

I can hear it clearly as the Doctor says

“Patient Pronounced Dead At 14:00 hours”

Doctor Doctor

I wish it was me instead of her

My life has no meaning

I wish there’s a way you can give her my soul

But even so

I don’t think she would be at peace

Because my life is filled with misery

My blood is filled with clots of pain

Clogging air passageways

My body broken and almost every joint has been replaced.

Arthritis takes over my hands and toes causing them to curl into different directions

I wonder what has happened so many times

It was just of a sudden

My veins are swollen from the constant pricking, energy drained, skin pale.

I’m hanging by a thread, wishing it was me that was pronounced dead!

Doctor Doctor

Can’t you see

The only reason I am alive it is because of those machines?

Doctor Doctor spoke finally

“I’ve prescribed medications one after another, I’ve researched every possible reasons of what could of, I have given you all the advice to help you not get to this stage, I have told you things to slow down the process of death, and still I stand to help you now after years, I still fight for your life and supply you with air. But instead you wish it was you that was pronounced dead. This makes me angry because I can only advice, it is you who will have to change the pattern of your style!”

Doctor Doctor

I understand

You have no idea of how I feel! You can only assume that I am in pain, unless

If I express with you the words from my lips.

I know you have tried but I haven’t done what I’ve been told and for this reason it is me that wishes to go.

At 12 with a skin disease, until my later teens and into adult hood I have suffered with much more than I should. From skin conditions, to diabetes, irregular periods, and thyroid conditions

I have had enough of fighting a battle I have no control of.

It is said medications can help but with that it causes reactions and other imperfections. At 12 It is not fair I lived with this pain all my life and nothing or no one will

Understand that COPD changes your life.

Doctor Doctor

Thank you for trying the best you could

I wouldn’t change what I’ve said

But I understand where you’re coming from and I too will try.

To be continued…

The thorns on a Rose 🌹

The Thorns of a Rose 🌹

It’s beautiful, so lovely, so exciting
but beware, of the dangers hidden there
Yes, it’s quite intriguing
I can’t believe what I am seeing
Do my eyes deceive me?
The rose isn’t quite what it seems

The sweet scent lures me near
Yet I simply stand static with fear.
But I feel so free,
the tender sweetness tastes so good…

I reach for the rose
but it falls from my grasp,
and tumbles out of reach,
and all I can feel is it’s pain.

It was the thorns of the rose
the ones you overlook
I thought the rose was pure,
but it was this that I mistook.
The pain of love slashes my heart
I scream in despair,
as I fall to my knees,
a simple phrase strains to leave my lips
‘Why me? Why me?’

What happened to excitement?
What happened to fear?
Where are those emotions now
that love is not so near?

I’ve lost the aroma of happiness
I am no longer free,
but trapped and quarantined.
Now I’m just another drone of earth,
Once blinded by sweet love,
but now I only see ugly truth.

How could something that feels so right
be so utterly wrong?
They all say ‘It’ll be okay’,
and that the hurt will not last long.
But the pain is still strong,
The emotion still lingers,
and it forever lives on…

Something so insignificant now,
Looking back I still feel the pain
something that may have meant nothing,
nothing at all.
But in my mind that nothing shall remain.

Am I just a simple being?

Am I just a simple being?

No, I am not

I am me

Uniquely formed with the intelligence of a scientist, the strength of a warrior, the love of a mother, the warmth of a friend, the joy after pain, the sunshine after rain, the beauty in the dark, the star that lights the skies, I am uniquely formed a woman of Gods creation.

Am I just a simple being?

No, I am not

I am the prize at the bottom of the cereal box, the toy in the happy meal, the laughter of a clown, the frown upside down, I am the reason for someone else life. I am me

Uniquely qualified!

Am I just a simple being?

No, I am not

I am the Diamond in the rough, been broken and fixed, I’ve been burnt and yet I healed. I am the sparkle in your fears, I write unity and advice, I live on the edge of life. I’ve been bruised and disrespected, still I manage to lift my head.

I am uniquely blessed

Am I just a simple being?

No, I am not!

I am the shadow that follows your path, behind your every step of the way. I pray for lost souls and hope that I get found. I am impossible but still I fear, I am human and I make mistakes!

I learn from them in my own way!

I am uniquely Born again.