BulletProof Heart

BULLET PROOF 

Every word you ever said,

was like a bullet to the head,

all thats left, is pain and stress,

I wish you nothing but the best,

you turned your back and walked away,

no matter what I tried to say,

I am not here just for your use,

my heart wont break, its bullet proof,

you turn around, and change your name,

try so hard to drown the pain,

nothing lost is nothing gained,

so tired of giving, I feel so drained.

so consumed by my infernal rage,

loving you was like a plague. 

By Devi Ramsaran
© 2010 Devi Ramsaran (All rights reserved)

My Heartbeat

My Heartbeat

You are fading slowly
Into a place of non existent 
I’ve been waiting for this day to finally say 
I’ve accepted the facts and from this day forward
I will respect your decision

The restless nights you’ve given to me 
The endless tears which flows
I know that growing in this pain will only take me into a different world

A world of danger and hate
Where lying is just a “thing!”
Where flowers bloom without the use of water 
Rather it survives on chemicals created by the hands of a man
A world where confusion and resentment devours your soul 
Where bitterness and anger takes control

So I would rather be free 
Allowing you make all those decisions for me

I’m tired and frustrated 
I can’t seem to please anyone
It’s a battlefield in my mind
No one will ever know 

I speak out in anger 
I speak out in fear
But not once did I mean those hurtful words I say
Although this may hurt me in the end
Sleep I will finally know 

Us women 

To us beautiful women Cheers 
We carry weight on our shoulder 

Inside our wombs 

On our hearts 

And still we don’t know where the strength comes from 

But it does

It is because God has made women to populate the universe 

With their love, their care, their knowledge 

And the best of all 

Children

We are all the same women carrying similar struggles and walking different paths 

Yet we all have some things in common 

And that is something which intrigued us or pained us 

We all have something to say

So let’s free our minds 

Uplift our hearts and dedicate our energy into turning those bad into good

Venting 

Let it out

In ways that words can hurt ones soul
Breathe 

As if it was the last breath you were able to take

Let God flow through you and into those words 

Which helps us over come whatever it is of hurt

And then spread the sunshine and bring out the rainbows with a little love and laughter 
Because after every storm 

Comes the calm 

The beauty of life and the colors of the world

Talking to the walls 

Today I am your everything Tomorrow I am your whore

Few days later 

We’re arguing over a story about me in which you over heard

I wonder who am I to you that you 

You seem so very distant 

One minute I am right 

The next I am the blame

I’m tired of the constant abuse of being called names

If being with me is so bad

Then why constantly be here making me sad

Why not leave 

Turn your back and walk away 

I’m afraid now if you do stay 

Sometimes I wonder where I would have been today if I choose to never be with you 

I’m not complaining, I’m just hurt 

It’s a constant battle in my mind

What is it that I am worth ? 

We know not of what tomorrow may bring 

For today I need to know where is it that I stand? 

Am I your lady or just someone who pleasures your burning desires? 

Am I your Queen before any other? 

Am I lacking beauty within or is it the condition of my skin? 

Am I trash or dirt in the ground? 

Am I worthy of a crown? 

I know nothing because you don’t seem to speak 

And when you do 

It’s never good things to me 

You complain how much I am such a horrible woman

Yet 

I still work, wash, cook and clean. 

I wonder where you will ever find another 

6 long years 

And still I can’t become your wife 

No proposal 

Not even a conversation 

About one day of being your bride 

No romantic dinners 

No casual talks

It’s only constant problems which we discuss 

I’m tired too 

But I try my best to listen 

To speak

To reason a situation 

And understand on your part

Well I myself am tired 

And need someone who can understand too

Someone who once listened to me

Cared for me

Loved me immensely 

And treated me with respect 

That someone was you

Now I’m all alone

I’m tired too 

Walking away will be a better option

Because speaking to the walls is my conclusion 


By Darshini Devi Ramsaran  
© 2017 Darshini Devi Ramsaran (All rights reserved)

A Woman Struggles

 A Woman Struggles…
I cook, I wash, I clean 

As I am a wife 

I make love as a woman, not a child

I play with children as if I’ve had some of my very own 

I work like man, doing things many women shouldn’t 

I’m not lazy 

I enjoy intellectual conversations 

I rather be home playing with makeup, cleaning my house, watching movies, or staying in the kitchen all day

I enjoy life for whatever curve ball it throws my way

I am not perfect 

I have flaws too 

I know there are times I feel the beauty in someone and I know when I don’t 

I feel just like you do 

I hurt the same

I say things to defame your name

Because I’m angry at the things you say

I don’t want to fuss over words 

However you give me no choice 

I cry the same salty tears when I am broken in two 

I wish you’d understand how much I care and 

How much I love you 

with 

every cell in my body
Your words have destroyed me 

Consuming my soul with regrets

And hate

You’ve pushed me far 

Beyond your imagination 

And yet you continue to test my emotions 
I guess some things are blinded by the eyes of those who can’t seem to see past their nose

They push those who love deeply into a place of non existence 

Hurting those who care for them 

Because of their own demons inside of them 
And when reality hits them in the face
A great woman as myself 

Would have walked away

Knowing her worth 
With her head held high 

Her shoulders straight 

Her face with a smile

And a heart that’s willing to challenge any dare at any pace 
She will soar above the highest mountains 

Loving stronger than ever before 
And slowly I am beginning to realize my very own worth 


A woman’s struggles 

By Darshini Devi Ramsaran 04/02
© 2017 Darshini Devi Ramsaran (All rights reserved)